Morganville Vampires Eve Quotes & Sayings

I think so," she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"Nah, Michael's got mine." He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.
"I've got yours. — Rachel Caine

Here. Have a Coke. That's good for a sore throat, right?"
"Good for everything," Shane croaked, and took the extended cold can with good grace. "Thanks."
"You owe me a dollar," Eve said. "I'll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though."
He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully. — Rachel Caine

You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now. — Rachel Caine

What about Myrnin?'
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man. — Rachel Caine

That's it? That's your big goodbye?" Eve asked.
Claire looked at Eve mystified. "I think I need guy CliffNotes."
"Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffNotes."
"What were you waiting for, flowery poetry?" Shane snorted. "I hugged. I'm done. — Rachel Caine

That's not trouble; that's fail. Tell me that isn't all the whites. Like, Michael's and Shane's, too."
"All the whites," Claire said, and held up the guilty red sock. "Yours?"
"Oh, damn." Eve snatched it out of Claire's fingers and shook the sock like a floppy rattle. "Bad sock! Bad! You are never going anywhere fun ever again! — Rachel Caine

Shane kissed her one more time, lightly and softly, and fluffed her hair back from her face. "To be continued," he said.
"I hate cliff-hangers."
"Blame Eve. — Rachel Caine

Wake me for the massacre, okay? Don't want to miss it. — Rachel Caine

You come back to us or I swear, I'll find you, dig up your stinky corpse, and kick its ass until it freaking disintegrates. — Rachel Caine

He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy. — Rachel Caine

Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that. — Rachel Caine

I don't see a way in," Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?" Myrnin whispered back. "Vampires can hear us, anyway. — Rachel Caine

I can handle Glory."
"Can you?" Eve asked. "Because I notice you never call her Gloriana. Just Glory."
He shut up. Which is probably about the only smart thing he can do, Claire thought. — Rachel Caine

See, I knew I could count on you for quality mayhem, my man. — Rachel Caine

The saga started out a normal day - don't they all? I mean, surely one morning back there in prehistoric times a dinosaur woke up, yawned, chewed some coffee beans, and thought his day was going to be dead boring, just before a comet slammed into his neighborhood. — Rachel Caine

See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!"
"Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either! — Rachel Caine

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks. — Rachel Caine

As she turned to concentrate on the portal, Eve tugged on Claire's shirt. "What?"
"Ask him where he got the boots."
"You ask." Personally, Claire wanted the vampire bunny slippers. — Rachel Caine

Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean. — Rachel Caine

Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact! — Rachel Caine

When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it. — Rachel Caine

What was your name again?"
"Still Eve."
"No, I'm sure it's something else. That doesn't seem right. — Rachel Caine

Ahh ... maybe we should be going," Shane said. "Ditch the shoes, Eve. We'll be running now."
"I love these shoes!"
"More than your circulatory system?"
Eve silently kicked off the stilettos and backed up. — Rachel Caine

Why?" Eve asked between breathless pants. she wasn't much of a runner either.
"Someone's coming" Shane said. "Shhhh."
Eve choked and strangled on a cough, and muttered "got to cut down on the cigarettes."
"you don't smoke," Claire whispered.
"then i'm completely screwed. — Rachel Caine

Michael rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, "I vant to drink your blood" in a heavy, fake-Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen.
You sabotaged me!" Kim yelled, dropped the controller, and smacked him hard on the chest. "I can't believe you just totally sabotaged me!"
Can't let him lose," Michael said, as Shane hit the high score and the victory music sounded. "Gotta live with the dude."
They high-fived.
You're seriously going to take that as a win," Kim said. "When he totally cheated for you."
Yes," Shane said. "I seriously am. — Rachel Caine

Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?'
Claire: 'Yep'
Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since ... we wouldn't have made it. Not me, not Shane, not Eve. Not without you.'
Claire: 'It's not me. It's not! It's us, that's all. We're just better together. We ... take care of each other.'
Shane: 'Stop vamping up my girl, man. She needs coffee.'
Michael: 'Don't we all. Vamping up your girl? Dude. That's low.'
Shane: 'Digging for China. Come on. — Rachel Caine

Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don't think so, Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side. — Rachel Caine

Did you talk to him about it?"
"Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy."
"Maydar?"
"As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure. — Rachel Caine

It's part of the marriage vows. Didn't you read the fine print? To have and to harass. — Rachel Caine

Claire said. "I might be able to get him to stop."
"Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might pull your head off," Shane said. "I kind of worry."
She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah?"
"A little bit."
"That's ... nice."
He studied her, and returned the smile. "Yeah," he said. "Kind of is, actually. — Rachel Caine

I just - we were talking, and we fell asleep. I swear, we didn't, um - '
'Yeah, you'd better not have ummed. — Rachel Caine

I'll do it!"
"No, you won't," Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. "You're barely on your feet, Claire. You don't go anywhere, not without me."
"And me," Michael said.
"Hell," Eve sighed. "I guess that means I have to go, too. Which I may not ever forgive you for, even if I don't die horribly. — Rachel Caine

See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often."
"No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children. — Rachel Caine

You looked like the sexiest woman in the world."
"Well, in fairness, I am the sexiest woman in the world."
"And you're always right."
"You are so brilliant to recognize that. — Rachel Caine

Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. — Rachel Caine

Oliver laughed - actually laughed."I like this new Claire," he said.
"You should work her this hard all the time, Myrnin.
She's interesting when she's forthright."
Claire, possessed by the spirit of Eve, shot him the finger. Which made him laugh again, shake his head, and walk up the steps. — Rachel Caine

At least this way we're safe in a room with a door that locks. And the sign says they have HBO."
That stands for Horrible Bloody Ohmygod." Eve said. "which is the way they kill you. When you think you're safe. — Rachel Caine

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish. — Rachel Caine

Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown! — Rachel Caine

Mirnin: Where's Shreve? — Rachel Caine

Go to hell and take that with you! She shouted it right in Amelie's face. Eve
was an exotic blaze of color against Amelie's white fury.
And then she slapped the Founder in the face. — Rachel Caine

You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too? — Rachel Caine

Not nearly enough. Not recently, anyway." And she was sad about that.
"I know," he said, and kissed the back of her hand. "We'll fix it. Get some sleep."
"Night," she said, and watched him walk toward the door. "Hey. How'd you get in?"
He wiggled his fingers at her in a spooky oogie-boogie pantomime. "I'm a vampire. I have secret powers ," he said with a full-on fake Transylvanian accent, which he dropped to say, "Actually, your mom let me in."
"Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?"
He shrugged. "Moms like me."
He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door. — Rachel Caine

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. — Rachel Caine

Amelie said, "I won't be your servant in Morganville. Nor should you be mine. Equals." She offered her hand to him, and he looked down at it, clearly taken aback. But he took it. "Now defend what is ours, my partner."
He grinned ... grinned! ... and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked. — Rachel Caine

Well, friend, I don't know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody," Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. "Have we been introduced?"
"Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?"
"You're not my type, darling. Is this one yours?"
"No," Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. "Let's say she's a friend of the family. — Rachel Caine

Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja? — Rachel Caine

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Eve — Rachel Caine

Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said. — Rachel Caine

I so want his wardrobe,' Eve sighed. 'Is that shallow, or just strange?'
'Don't sell yourself short. It's both.' Shane said. — Rachel Caine

Oh, come on. A vamp marrying a human gets the fanged ones all upset, and Eve made herself look like the ultimate fang-anger to all the humans by putting a ring on one, so what did you expect exactly? Flowers and parades? This is Texas. We're still figuring out how to spell tolerance. — Rachel Caine

Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car! — Rachel Caine

Bathroom, maybe? Which is where I need to go."
"Ooh, me, too," Eve said.
The boys rolled their eyes, like they'd planned it.
"What? It's what girls do. Get over it. — Rachel Caine

Oh, come on, just this once," Eve said. "Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?
That's kind of crucial, right?"
"Thanks for the thought, but it doesn't go with my shoes."
"You're seriously going to worry about what people think right now?"
"No, I'm worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey."
Michael, straight-faced, said, "He's got a point, because I would definitely take pictures. So would you."
Eve had to grin. "Yeah, I would. Okay, then. But you'd look glam. I could fix you up with silver eye shadow to match. — Rachel Caine

You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass! — Rachel Caine

I'm faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I'm a vampire," Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. "If you get in trouble, I'll be there."
"Nice," Shane said. "I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey."
"No, you're not."
"Okay, no, I'm not, but right now let's pretend I am. — Rachel Caine

Eve hugged her, hard. "It's beautiful," she said. "What happened to the old frosting?"
Shane, sitting at the table, raised his hand. "Took one for the team."
"Jesus, you ate it? All of it?"
"Nah." He held up the bowl that was sitting in front of him. There was still about half a cup left. "Couldn't finish it all."
Eve blinked and looked at Claire, who shrugged and said, "I always thought he was sweet. — Rachel Caine

Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said. — Rachel Caine

I almost get killed at most parties. Hence, you can tell that's how much I love them. — Rachel Caine

Anybody else think that was weird?' Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.
'Ya think? In general, or in particular?'
'Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn't have to hit anybody.'
There was a moment of silence. Michael said, as he started the car, 'You're right, Shane. That is strange. — Rachel Caine

His smile was bright and sweet and hot enough to melt solid steel. "Is this the part where I kiss you?"
"If you like."
"Oh," he said, "I like. — Rachel Caine

If he had any kind of a clue, he wouldn't be caught dead with that stuff. See what I did there? Caught dead? I crack myself up. Eve sipped more coffee she probably, at this point, didn't need. — Rachel Caine

Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl — Rachel Caine

Did he just say
?"
"Yes," Claire said, smiling. "Yes, he did."
"Whoa. Guess I'd better stay alive, then. — Rachel Caine

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me. — Rachel Caine

Silence, and then Eve said, Okay, that was extra creepy, with whipped creepy topping. And this is me, changing my mind. — Rachel Caine

No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first. — Rachel Caine

This one is named Eve," I said. "And don't check my teeth like I'm your livestock. I bite back. — Rachel Caine