Mondays Off Quotes & Sayings

If each Monday morning, you make a choice to move into the new work week with renewed commitment and passion, you can change all areas of your life. You can truly change your Mondays and change your life. — David Cottrell

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks. — Ricky Gervais

There are no miracles on Mondays. — Amy Neftzger

An imbecile habit has arisen in modern controversy of saying that such and such a creed can be held in one age but cannot be held in another. Some dogma, we are told, was credible in the twelfth century, but is not credible in the twentieth. You might as well say that a certain philosophy can be believed on Mondays, but cannot be believed on Tuesdays. You might as well say of a view of the cosmos that it was suitable to half-past three, but not suitable to half-past four. What a man can believe depends upon his philosophy, not upon the clock or the century. — Gilbert K. Chesterton

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. — Karen Carpenter

Mondays taste like split-pea soup,

Tuesdays taste like gobbledygook,

Wednesdays taste like licorice,

Thursdays taste like deep-fried fish,

Fridays taste like the color red,

Saturdays taste like gingerbread,

Sundays taste like chicken breast,

But birthdays! Birthdays taste the best!

Birthdays taste like chocolate cake,

Balloons, presents, and sirloin steak. — Claudine Carmel

Cops before breakfast. Before coffee even. As if Mondays weren't bad enough. — Josh Lanyon

I try to do something every day. I lift weights at least three to four days per week, and I'll intersperse that with cardio. For example, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll run and do heavy lifting, and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'll spend two hours lifting weights, as well as something like swimming. — Misty May-Treanor

I fucking hate Thursdays. Most of the time, people focus their hate on Mondays. I wasn't a fan of those either. Mondays are the hall monitors of the week. They tell you to stop enjoying your time off and get back to work. But at least you know where you stand with a Monday. Thursday is a fence sitter on the other hand. It's almost the weekend but not quite there. — Princess Jones

Louis Armstrong on Mondays, Frank Sinatra on Wednesdays, Glenn Miller on Fridays, and Mozart on Sundays. Unless it was raining. If it's raining, it's always Billie Holiday. — Clare Vanderpool

Saturdays and Mondays were Sundays' bookends. On Saturdays preachers were neurotic planning what they would say, and on Mondays they were neurotic for having said it."7 — Calvin Miller

It's no wonder Bob Geldof knows so much about famine - he's been dining out on I Don't Like Mondays for 30 years, — Russell Brand

If you had to work 14 hour days, Mondays to Fridays, then you have to keep Saturdays and Sundays sacred. — Nicole Ari Parker

The awfulness of Monday mornings is the world's greatest common denominator. To the millionaire and the coolie it is the same, because there can be nothing worse. — Kenneth Fearing

I can teach them little things that may not be in any of the great books on writing. For instance, I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned that December is traditionally a bad month for writing. It is a month of Mondays. Mondays are not good writing days. One has had all that freedom over the weekend, all that authenticity, all those dreamy dreams, and then your angry mute Slavic Uncle Monday arrives, and it is time to sit down at your desk. — Anne Lamott

It can't be Sunday every day. There are also Mondays and Tuesdays. — George Weah

Whatever the mistakes or faults of the past have been, I feel that on New Years and birthdays, and even on Mondays, I can clean off the slate, so to speak, and start all over. — Grace May North

Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We sealed it with a kiss, and with the kiss, we sealed what would eventually become an engagement, a marriage, a Cape Cod, a dog, grilled cheese sandwiches on Mondays, and everything in between. — Lindsay Detwiler

So, that was the original Happy Mondays line-up before Bez joined. Shaun Ryder, Paul Ryder, Mark Day, Paul Davis and Gaz Whelan. X, Horse, Cowhead, Knobhead and No Arse. — Shaun Ryder

I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good. — Bill Burr

I've had days when I go in my bedroom for 24 hours at a time. I call them my Cilla Black days, and they're literally black days. It's like the old Boomtown Rats song 'I Don't Like Mondays.' You just want to shut the whole day down. — Cilla Black

Mondays are the potholes in the road of life. — Tom Wilson

Meatless Mondays is a dead-simple strategy. Anyone can do it, and it doesn't require major sacrifice. Even if you eat a typical American diet replete with processed, junk and fast food the other six days of the week, going meatless on Mondays will still cut your carbon footprint, improve your health and reduce demand for factory-farm meat. — Mark Bittman

It was a strangely disorienting feeling, to have something you'd relied on for so long start to change, like finding out that gravity no longer worked on Mondays. — Maggie Stiefvater

One day. One damn day since I talked with Hayles. I've never been more happy for a Monday. — Becca Ann

Clarabelle ... Clarabelle ... You worked as Kenspeckle Grouse's assistant, did you not?'
'One of the. He fired all the others.'
'But not you?'
'He fired me on the second day, but I kept coming in. I had nowhere else to go.'
'And then you killed him.'
'Yes.'
'A Remnant squirmed inside you, and you killed Kenspeckle Grouse.'
'Yes.'
Nye grinned. 'You're hired. But I have warn you, if you try to kill me, I will dissect you and sing along to your screams.'
'Can I have Mondays off?'
'You may. — Derek Landy

Ah yes," Gabe said, "Pinter is ever the gallant when it comes to the ladies. He wouldn't risk leaving us alone with poor Miss Lake, for the fear one of us might spirit her off to our lair."
"Why?" Miss Lake asked, with a lift of her brow. "Do you three make a habit of spiriting women off?"
"Only on Tuesdays and Fridays," Masters said. "Seeing as how it's Wednesday, your safe."
"Unless you're wearing a blue garter, madam," Gabe quipped. "On Wednesdays, Masters and I have a great fondness for blue garters. Are your gaters blue, Miss Lake?"
"Only on Mondays and Thursdays." She dealt thirteen cards apiece to the two of them, then put the rest aside as the stock, turning the top card faceup. "Sorry gentlemen. I guess you'll have to spirit off some other woman. — Sabrina Jeffries

I told her about the best and the worst. The slow and sleepy places where weekdays rolled past like weekends and Mondays didn't matter. Battered shacks perched on cliffs overlooking the endless, rumpled sea. Afternoons spent waiting on the docks, swinging my legs off a pier until boats rolled in with crates full of oysters and crayfish still gasping. Pulling fishhooks out of my feet because I never wore shoes, playing with other kids whose names I never knew. Those were the unforgettable summers. There were outback towns where you couldn't see the roads for red dust, grids of streets with wandering dogs and children who ran wild and swam naked in creeks. I remembered climbing ancient trees that had a heartbeat if you pressed your ear to them. Boomboom-boomboom. Dreamy nights sleeping by the campfire and waking up covered in fine ash, as if I'd slept through a nuclear holocaust. We were wanderers, always with our faces to the sun. — Vikki Wakefield

Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. — Ernie Els

I normally work out six days a week. I'll do Pilates on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and I'll do cardio on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. — Rachel Nichols

We didn't know what he did on the weekends. What sort of person showed up on Monday and had no interest in sharing what transpired during the two days of the week when one's real life took place? His weekends were long dark shadows of mystery. In all likelihood, he spent his days off in the office, cultivating his master plan. Mondays we'd come in refreshed and unsuspecting and he would already be there, ready to spring something on us. Maybe he never left. Certainly he never came around with a coffee mug to palaver with us on a Monday morning. We didn't judge him for that, so long as he didn't judge us for our custom of easing into a new workweek. — Joshua Ferris

So, now I am left with two unfortunate facts in my life. Mondays are creepy Chuck day, and even my mother thinks I'm getting desperate in the man department. — Lindsay Detwiler

I've always hated Mondays, the whole lot of them. Too much whiplash, snapping the tired masses to attention. God's way, perhaps, of reminding us that we are not masters of our fate, no matter how deluded we became during the weekend respite. — Jonathan Hull

Off. Whoever said Mondays sucked had obviously never woken up to a naked Gideon Cross. — Sylvia Day

Thady begins his memoirs of the Rackrent Family by dating MONDAY MORNING, because no great undertaking can be auspiciously commenced in Ireland on any morning but MONDAY MORNING. 'Oh, please God we live till Monday morning, we'll set the slater to mend the roof of the house. On Monday morning we'll fall to, and cut the turf. On Monday morning we'll see and begin mowing. On Monday morning, please your honour, we'll begin and dig the potatoes,' etc.
All the intermediate days, between the making of such speeches and the ensuing Monday, are wasted: and when Monday morning comes, it is ten to one that the business is deferred to THE NEXT Monday morning. The Editor knew a gentleman, who, to counteract this prejudice, made his workmen and labourers begin all new pieces of work upon a Saturday. — Maria Edgeworth

Tell me why ... I don't like Mondays ... — Bob Geldof

I can tell you that "Just cheer up" is almost universally looked at as the most unhelpful depression cure ever. It's pretty much the equivalent of telling someone who just had their legs amputated to "just walk it off." Some people don't understand that for a lot of us, mental illness is a severe chemical imbalance rather just having "a case of the Mondays." Those same well-meaning people will tell me that I'm keeping myself from recovering because I really "just need to cheer up and smile." That's when I consider chopping off their arms and then blaming them for not picking up their severed arms so they can take them to the hospital to get reattached. — Jenny Lawson

Mondays I sleep. I go in at ten, do my lift, watch the game from the day before. Tuesday is off, but I go in, lift, watch film. Then I have French toast with my sister. — Ndamukong Suh

I watch just as much WWE as almost anyone, but I love to. It's something I enjoy doing. I don't force myself to watch. I get excited for Mondays. I get excited to see the show. — John Cena

I gain my freedom on the day the moon loses her daughter, if that occurs in a week when two Mondays come together. I await it with patience. — Neil Gaiman

On Mondays and Fridays in early May, nearly 18,000 children-the equivalent of all the elementary students in suburban Glencoe, Wilmette, Glenview, Kenilworth, Winnetka, Deerfield, Highland Park and Evanston-are assigned to classes with no teacher. — Jonathan Kozol

Mondays are the start of the work week which offer new beginnings 52 times a year! — David Dweck

I hate Mondays - I hate that feeling you've got to get yourself up. — Bruce Forsyth

When my phone chimes with a text message on Monday morning, I'm still in that dreamy state between sleep and awake where you can pretty much convince yourself of anything. Like that a teen Mick Jagger is waiting in your driveway to take you to school. Or that your favorite book series ended with an actual satisfying conclusion, instead of what the author tried to pass off as a satisfying conclusion. — Jessica Brody

But the Easter sacrifice in their own homes - well, think it over. I used to think the same as you, and I still hate to see the lambs and calves going home to their deaths on Good Friday. But isn't it a million times better than the way we do it at home, however 'humane' we try to be? Here, the lamb's petted, unsuspicious, happy - you see it trotting along with the children like a little dog. Till the knife's in its throat, it has no idea it's going to die. Isn't that better than those dreadful lorries at home, packed full of animals, lumbering on Mondays and Thursdays to the slaughterhouses, where, be as humane as you like, they can smell the blood and the fear, and have to wait their turn in a place just reeking of death? — Mary Stewart

I like sunrises, Mondays, and new seasons. God seems to be saying,"with me you can always start afresh. — Ada Lum

I love weekends. Just like everyone else, I get to rest on weekends and go out with friends. I hate Mondays. — Kim Yuna

Starting at age four, my mom decided that she was not going to have an idle child in the house. So I started taking dance lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then I was in acting classes on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and I was also modeling on Saturdays. And that was my childhood. — Chandra Wilson

If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return Mondays! — John Wagner