Milligan Quotes & Sayings

Even when I'm about to die I like to sound interesting and special. It was just talk. — Peter Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. — Spike Milligan

I'm continuing to write and love 'Hellblazer.' Also, I'm writing a 'Flashpoint' mini-series ' with art by George Perez - which features Shade the Changing Man and Enchantress. — Peter Milligan

The most difficult book I have ever read was a manual on the use of iron bangles by A.J. Thompson. — Spike Milligan

Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough. — Spike Milligan

'Greek Street' is a very strange beast. I think of it as 'The Long Good Friday' meets 'Agamemnon.' A way of using those fantastically rich stories from Greek tragedy to take a look at our world and to explore some of the things I think about this world. — Peter Milligan

Which would be more important to Grom-upholding the law by not mating with a Half-Breed, or mating with one to ensure the survival of the Gifts? Galen doesn't know. But even if Grom chooses not to reproduce with Emma, will he allow Galen to take her as his mate? Because if Romul and Atta are right, Emma will never sprout a fin. Which means Galen will have to live with her on land.
Is it worth it? To give up years of my life to be with her? Galen thinks of the curve of her hips, the fullness of her lips, the way she blushes when he catches her looking at him. And he remembers how sick he felt when Dr. Milligan indicated Emma would die before him.
Oh, yes. It's absolutely worth it. — Anna Banks

My whole life, growing up, I always wanted to be in comedy. I never felt comfortable doing the 'teen hunk' thing. — Dustin Milligan

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
Theres a Nang Nong Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the Mice go Clang!
And you just cant catch em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong!
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning!
Trees go Ping!
Nong Ning Nang!
The mice go Clang!
What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong! — Spike Milligan

Glasgow was home-made ginger biscuits and Jennifer Lawson dead in the park. It was the sententious niceness of the Commander and the threatened abrasiveness of Laidlaw. It was Milligan, insensitive as a mobile slab of cement, and Mrs Lawson, witless with hurt. It was the right hand knocking you down and the left hand picking you up, while the mouth alternated apology and threat. — William McIlvanney

When the time comes to face McCracken, I don't want you anywhere near."

"I agree with Milligan!" Sticky whispered.

Milligan winked at him and quickly ushered the children back to the double doors. — Trenton Lee Stewart

'The Names' is planned as a nine-part series. I have a kind of road map: I know the final scene of episode nine. But as to exactly how we get there, what detours or horrible accidents we might have to pass through, I like to keep that a little fluid. — Peter Milligan

If I could write words
Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,
What a bonfire my letters would make.
If I could speak words of water,
You would drown when I said
I love you. — Spike Milligan

I'm working on a new creator-owned series for Vertigo called 'The Discipline.' — Peter Milligan

Therec all the rage, Cab Calaway wears one. — Spike Milligan

When the chips are down, grandmothers can be counted on to do whatever's necessary. When the chips are down for grandfathers, we just go into the kitchen and get more chips. — Mike Milligan

EVANGELIST By GEORGE MILLIGAN, D.D. — Walter F. Adeney

VAMPIRES EAT KOSHER ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. — Michael P. Milligan

Charles Kiss is a legendary James Bond-style British spy. And McGrath is the young idealist who is given the task of following in his footsteps. It's a mission that forces McGrath to question everything he thought he believed in. — Peter Milligan

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thought of it made him miserable. — Spike Milligan

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things. — Spike Milligan

I think Hellblazer is quite unique. In a comic world dominated by American characters (nothing wrong with that per se) Constantine was unashamedly British. A certain kind of miserablist British — Peter Milligan

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse — Spike Milligan

You believe a little shithead like this is able to stay on the run for so long?" McLarney declares, returning from yet another unsuccessful turn-up of a Milligan hideout. "You shoot a guy, hey," the sergeant adds with a shrug. "You shoot another guy - well, okay, this is Baltimore. You shoot three guys, it's time to admit you have a problem. — David Simon

Well, he thought, you can fool some of the people all the time and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be President of the United States, and on that useless profundity, Milligan himself pedalled on, himself, himself. — Spike Milligan

The thing about Canadian women is that they seem less likely to bring up that they're Canadian. You here less about Canadian actresses than actors, I don't know why. — Dustin Milligan

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't crazy ... I'd go crazy ... — Peter Milligan

The amusing thing about 'X-Force' is that it was highly rated - and hated - in about equal measure, Which suited me just fine. If no-one's feathers were a little ruffled, we probably wouldn't have been doing our jobs right. — Peter Milligan

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one. — Spike Milligan

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife. — Spike Milligan

Ever since I was a little kid, I always dreamed of being a Big City kid, because I grew up in a very small town up north in Canada. I have to say I just love the city lights at night. — Dustin Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. — Spike Milligan

I told you I was ill. (On Millian's headstone) — Spike Milligan

Author, author, did you write these legs?( The Milligan- Puckoon — Spike Milligan

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all. — Spike Milligan

My sister Laura's bigger than me
And lifts me up quite easily.
I can't lift her, I've tried and tried;
She must have something heavy inside. — Spike Milligan

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. — Spike Milligan

If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it. — Spike Milligan

Busty' Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted sense of humour made him a Lance Bombardier. Roberts went insane with power. The war now consisted of two people, him and Hitler. — Spike Milligan

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! — Spike Milligan

The DCU Constantine has to be the guy we know and love, with his same failings - otherwise what's the point of using him? But as I'm writing him, he's younger and has perhaps been through a bit less than the battered, aging old sod we meet in Vertigo. — Peter Milligan

Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

They're all the rage, Cab Calloway wears one. — Spike Milligan

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. — Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs. — Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. — Spike Milligan

Maybe you can talk to donkeys, too," Dr. Milligan smiles. Emma nods. "I can sometimes Galen can be a jackass."
"That hurts my feelings, Emma," Galen says, trying to look hurt. — Anna Banks

Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, and the rest keep dogs. — Spike Milligan

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex. — Spike Milligan

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light — Spike Milligan

Come, come, come? I'm not asking for hundreds of pounds, just a little to start with. Will someone say ten shillings?'
'I can say it, Father' said Milligan, 'but I haven't got it.'
'I've got it,' thought Dr Goldstein, 'but I'm not going to say it. — Spike Milligan

I have got so low that I have asked to be hospitalized and for deep narcosis (sleep). I cannot stand being awake. The pain is too much ... Something has happened to me, this vital spark has stopped burning - I go to a dinner table now and I don't say a word, just sit there like a dodo. Normally I am the centre of attention, keeps the conversation going, - so that is depressing in itself. It's like another person taking over, very strange. The most important thing I say is 'good evening' and then I go quiet. — Spike Milligan

Rules? You don't even know what game we're playing, mister. — Peter Milligan

If you kill me, I promise you - you will never take me alive. — Spike Milligan

One thing we never did with 'Bad Company' was talk down to our reader. And we certainly don't do that with the new story, 'Bad Company, First Casualties.' — Peter Milligan

I have a body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. — Spike Milligan

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong! — Spike Milligan

If a robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage,
How feels heaven when
Dies the billionth battery hen? — Spike Milligan

There are holes in the sky
Where the rain gets in,
But they're ever so small
That's why rain is thin. — Spike Milligan

Over at Marvel, I have a five-part series coming out very soon. The books or chapters will appear weekly. It's called '5 Ronin' and features some iconic Marvel heroes as you've never seen them. — Peter Milligan

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. — Spike Milligan

The first 'Bad Company' was a kind of reaction to the Vietnam war - or at least a reaction to how Vietnam had entered the cultural life through films and books. — Peter Milligan

There's a lot of sex. But it isn't about sex. — Peter Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to stand underneath a tree. — Spike Milligan

Pakistani Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry — Spike Milligan

Everybody has to be somewhere! — Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much. — Spike Milligan

We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away. — Spike Milligan

'Red Lanterns' is obviously about rage, but more it's about how rage affects people - alien and human. I'll be getting into the characters of some of those insane Red Lanterns whom we've generally only seen spitting vomit in the background. — Peter Milligan

It's always a long goddamn story. Every time you ask anyone anything really important, it's a long story. — Peter Milligan

I'm not mad. I'm a writer. — Peter Milligan

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral. — Spike Milligan

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in — Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. — Spike Milligan

What is a Bongaloo, Daddy?"
A Bongaloo, Son," said I,
Is a tall bag of cheese
Plus a Chinaman's knees
And the leg of a nanny goat's eye — Spike Milligan

I destroyed all my geek stuff because I didn't want to be a geek, and I regret it to this day. Consumed in the geek bonfire of the vanities was a collection of autographs and letters from Peter Cushing, Spike Milligan and Frankie Howerd, the first Doctor Whos, actual astronauts, and many more. — Peter Capaldi

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate. — Spike Milligan

Waiting for the operation, there was a gentle tap on the door.In came a strapping nurse. 'Good morning', she shrilled, whipped back the bedclothes, upped with his nightshirt, grabbed his willy, lathered furiously around it till it looked like the Eddystone Lighthouse in a storm, then shaved the whole area till it looked like an oven-ready chicken.
'Excuse me, nurse', said Looney, 'why did you knock? — Spike Milligan

We don't have anything planned, so nothing can go wrong. — Spike Milligan

Go on, Kate. I don't want to have fallen four stories for nothing. - Milligan — Trenton Lee Stewart

The die was cast. It was a proud day for the Milligan family as I was taken from the house. "I'm too young to go," I screamed as Military Policemen dragged me from my pram, clutching a dummy. At Victoria Station the R.T.O. gave me a travel warrant, a white feather and a picture of Hitler marked "This is your enemy." I searched every compartment, but he wasn't on the train. At 4.30, June 2nd, 1940, on a summer's day all mare's tails and blue sky we arrived at Bexhill-on-Sea, where I got off. It wasn't easy. The train didn't stop there. — Spike Milligan

God made nightButMan made darkness. — Spike Milligan

The American Scream is the personification of the plague of madness sweeping the states. Only he's real — Peter Milligan

When you get to the end of your life, you will treasure the moments when you decided to push past fear and try something new. — Jonathan Milligan

If I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger; and if I die, I won't eat soon. — Spike Milligan

Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part. — Spike Milligan

Kate laid her hand against his cheek. "Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep getting hurt?"
"Bad habit," Milligan mumbled. — Trenton Lee Stewart

I've always been interested in the Greek tragedies. A few years back, I re-read a translation of the 'The Oresteia,' and that stayed with me, and slowly this idea of using some of those old legends and plays to tell a new story about modern urban life began to form. — Peter Milligan

I told you I was sick. — Spike Milligan

The erotic drive is the great energy that moves through all evolution.

What about love? Where does that fit in?

Love's simply the handmaiden of the great energy, and an excuse to write suspect poetry. — Peter Milligan

R.I.P.
Tom Conlon O'Rourke.
Not Dead, just Sleeping. — Spike Milligan

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill". — Spike Milligan

Whatever I think, whatever I try to do, life might just turn around and ... and hitch up its pants and throw me a twenty-dollar bill. — Peter Milligan

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. — Spike Milligan

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it — Spike Milligan

A lot of learning canbe a little thing. — Spike Milligan

Education isn't everything, for a start it isn't an elephant — Spike Milligan

Earlier today I had sex with a monkey and then roasted and ate it with a glass of choir boys' piss. I like to get in the mood. — Peter Milligan