Milk Cows Quotes & Sayings

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! — Andy Rooney

(pg.31)
As it was, my first days on Earth were somewhat anticlimactic. Mother and Father seemed so happy tempting and corrupting that I didn't want to interrupt them. But the fact was that I hadn't the slightest clue what to do with myself. I tried to convince cows to take over the world, to rampage across the fields slaughtering all in their wake, to start a new religion of udder worship, to build cities devoted to the consumption of grass, their aqueducts running with fresh milk. I even prepared a pictorial presentation of cows traveling into outer space aboard butter-powered space churns, but the cows seemed unconvinced, and soon returned to wondering how many stomachs they had. The current belief was seventeen. Cows:Unambitious. — George Pendle

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans. — P. J. O'Rourke

Milk money: cash, cows, and the death of the American dairy farm / Kirk Kardashian; foreword by Senator Bernie — Kirk Kardashian

Not only do I know how to milk a cow, but I know how to herd a bunch of cows, too, which is a life skill that I think may come in handy someday. — Martina Mcbride

Cows, after leaving the low lands near the coast, are found to be plentiful everywhere, and to produce milk in small quantities, from which butter is made. — John Hanning Speke

The crop always seems better in our neighbor's field, and our neighbor's cow gives more milk. — Ovid

Bread without butter or coffee without milk is an awful calamity, as if everything before being put in our mouth must first be held under a cow. — John Muir

Mum," she called, "we're out of milk."
"Damn lazy cows," her mother muttered. — Derek Landy

Knowledge is a sacred cow, and my problem will be how we can milk her while keeping clear of her horns. — Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

If you want milk, don't sit on a stool in the middle of a field in the hope that a cow will back up to you. — Richard Branson

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dairy cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers? — P. J. O'Rourke

Don't lose your time gazing at the spilled milk. There are other cows to milk — Bangambiki Habyarimana

Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once. — Josh Billings

They reminded me somehow of the peasants in a book by Steinbeck: they were of the city, but they dressed like peasants, they looked like peasants, and they talked like peasants. Their cows were motor-driven milk floats; their tools were mop and pail and kneeling pad; their farms a forest of steel and concrete. In spite of the hairgrips and headscarves, they had their own kind of dignity. They — E.R. Braithwaite

Oh, yes. Milk from my favorite cows:brown. — Darynda Jones

Cows' milk protein may be the single most significant chemical carcinogen to which humans are exposed. — T. Colin Campbell

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket. — Nicole McKay

They'd taught him how to milk cows,and now they expected him to tame lions. — Evan Hunter

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff." — Jerry Seinfeld

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it — Andrew Leigh

reduce the amount of pesticides you ingest by 90 percent if you buy organic for these 12 fruits and vegetables: apples, celery, cherries, imported grapes, lettuce, nectarines, peaches, pears, potatoes, spinach, strawberries, and sweet bell peppers. Because milk fat can harbor traces of hormones (including rBGH) given to cows, it's also crucial to choose organic dairy products. — Whole Living Magazine

When I look closely at dairy, I see the hurtful exploitation of specifically female bodies so that some people can enjoy sensual pleasures of consumption while others enjoy the psychological pleasure of collecting profits from the exertions of somebody else's body. Cows are forcibly impregnated, dispossessed of their children, and then painfully robbed of the milk produced by their bodies for those children. No wonder I didn't want to see my complicity! Most women don't consciously perceive the everyday violence against girls and women that permeates and structures our society. How much harder it is, then, to see the gendered violence against nonhuman animals behind the everyday items on the grocery store shelf. When we, as women, partake of that violence, we participate in sexism even as we enjoy the illusory benefits of speciesism. No wonder a glimpse of the sexist violence behind my breakfast cereal left me dizzy. — Pattrice Jones

I do hold very strongly that tea is better in England. There's something in the milk. They must have special cows. — Gail Carriger

I have fruit trees. Cows for fresh milk, yoghurt. My own wheat. I'm basically self-sufficient. — Imran Khan

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk. — Ogden Nash

I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow? — Devon Aoki

It doesn't matter how much milk you spill as long as you don't lose the cow. — Harvey MacKay

And I knew in my bones that Emily Dickinson wouldn't have written even one poem if she'd had two howling babies, a husband bent on jamming another one into her, a house to run, a garden to tend, three cows to milk, twenty chickens to feed, and four hired hands to cook for. I knew then why they didn't marry. Emily and Jane and Louisa. I knew and it scared me. I also knew what being lonely was and I didn't want to be lonely my whole life. I didn't want to give up on my words. I didn't want to choose one over the other. Mark Twain didn't have to. Charles Dickens didn't. — Jennifer Donnelly

He said it was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea ... — James Joyce

Milk is for babies. Human beings are the only species that drinks milk into adulthood and besides that we prefer to drink the milk of another species (enslaved cows and goats), and we have come to consider it normal when, it is actually a pretty perverse form of sexual abuse! — Sharon Gannon

One of my chores was to milk the cows, which meant getting up before dawn and going out to that cold dark barn. I didn't expect to make it all the way to the big leagues; I just had to get way from them damn cows. — Edd Roush

Don't milk the cow too hard. She will kick you. — Mason Cooley

Man is a thief, an impudent thief! He steals honey from bees, eggs from chickens, milk from cows and life from the God! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

It's like, hey, some people cook for a living, and some people milk cows. I write songs. — Scott Weiland

Tens of millions of acres have been added to the federal wilderness system, environmental impact assessments are now required for all major developments, some lakes that were declared dead are living again. . . . Lead particulates have been impressively reduced in the atmosphere; DDT is no longer found in American body fat, which also contains considerably fewer polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) than it once did. Mercury has virtually disappeared from Great Lakes sediment; and Strontium 90 is no longer found in either cows' milk or mothers' milk." And Dowie stressed: "What all these facts have in common is that they are the result of outright bans against the use or production of the substances in question."III, 27 — Naomi Klein

Why should you buy the cow, if you can get the milk for free?" Answer: There is no reason, no incentive, no need to buy the cow. If the cow continues to supply free milk, the milk's value and the cow's value are greatly reduced and free milk will keep that cow feeling empty, misused and unwanted. This is the harsh reality of giving out discounts. Of course, we are not cows, but rather sons and daughters of the Most High God, so let's be mindful not to discount the price that was paid for us on Calvary. — Lindsay Marsh Warren

Erratum. In my article on the Price of Milk, 'Horses' should have read 'Cows' throughout. — J.B. Morton

The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow. So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered. — Samuel Butler

[Texas is] the place where there are the most cows and the least milk and the most rivers and the least water in them, and where you can look the farthest to see the least. — H.L. Mencken

You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home — Bob Dylan

Mostly, I make sure to stay keenly aware of my own shortcomings so that I am more patient with others. It can be hard to see a friend order a cow-milk latte when almond or soy milk is available, knowing that the friend knows what dairy cows go through, how they mourn their babies, who have been carted off to veal crates so that we can steal their milk. — Karen Dawn

A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows. — Dana Gould

42. The colour of milk is one, the colours of the cows many, So is the nature of knowledge, observe the wise ones. Beings of various marks and attributes, Are like the cows, their realisation is the same; This is an example we should know. — Ramana Maharshi

You can milk a cow the wrong way once and still be a farmer, but vote the wrong way on a water tower and you can be in trouble. — John F. Kennedy

A dairymaid can milk cows to the glory of God — Martin Luther

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. — Fred Allen

Harvest

Do not let a woman with a sexy rump deceive you
with wheedling and coaxing words; she is after your barn.
-Hesiod

Shall we gather the sunset
pluck what is ripe
harness the cicada's song?
Even if this isn't the season
of new love
let us remember the buds
and reap what we can.
No crop is too small.
No harvest too lean.
The grain will yield.
So scatter and slash
call in the cows
and let us milk them all dry.
Plow as you will.
Bulldoze away.
Why not make every season
our season
each day
our day
to till and tease
to clear and seed
to plant and replant
as we please.
Come
my sweet smell of hay
do not be deceived
by Hesiod.
He says that I am
after your barn.
I want the whole
fucking farm! — Nancy Boutilier

I can't help but think of the dance that I'm not going to.
It's not that I want to go to a dance. I'd go milk cows with Jocelyn if I could. Or do whatever kids around here do for fun. — Travis Thrasher

Milk is the only juice in a world of cows. — Munia Khan

Writing does for me what giving milk does for a cow. — H.L. Mencken

Just because you need a quart of milk doesn't mean you have to go out and buy a whole cow. — Warren Beatty

Derrick?
I look back in the rearview mirror and see my little brother, Tyson, staring back at me with an expression on his face that I can't quite identify. Usually, he reserves calling me Derrick for when he is about to ask something serious, like if there is a planet of cows that have farms that milk people, then slaughter them for their tasty cutlets, or why mom left and didn't come back. He asks a lot of questions. — T.J. Klune

It was probably easier in the old days when the bad guys rode into town wearing black capes or whatever bad guys wore and the milk cows were ownded by honest people. Right off the bat, you'd know who you were dealing with. Now everybody dresses alike. — Joan Bauer

One fact is beyond dispute: Homogenization prevents the consumer from realizing just how little fat is contained in modern processed milk, even "full fat" milk. Before homogenization, milk purchasers looked for milk that had lots of cream - that was the sign that the milk came from healthy cows, cows on pasture. Old-fashioned milk contained from 4 to 8 percent butterfat, which translated into lots of cream on the top. Modern milk is standardize at 3.5 percent, no more. Butterfat brings bigger profits to the dairy industry as butter or as an ingredient in ice cream than as a component of liquid milk. The consumer has been cheated, but with homogenization, he can't tell. — Ron Schmid

Cows given genetically modified growth hormones make more milk, but have painful swollen udders, have ulcers, joint pain, miscarriages, deformed calves, infertility, and much shorter life spans. Their milk contains blood, pus, tranquilizers, antibiotics, and an insulin growth factor that can cause a fourfold increase in prostate cancer and sevenfold rise in breast cancer. This is the milk used in our school lunch programs and served to our children. This is the milk that you buy every day. This is the milk used in all cheeses, yogurts, butter, and cream. — Kevin Trudeau

You are what you eat. Nothing else. Never. If you are nourished with cow's milk and later with herbs, you'll become someone whose whole life is good only for being exploited by others. — George Ohsawa

If you see cattle as a source of organic manure, animal energy, as well as milk products, then Indian cattle are not inferior. It is only when you measure them as milk machines that they become inferior. What if we measured the dairy cows of America or Jersey or the Swiss Alps in terms of their work functions? They would be terribly inferior. — Vandana Shiva

I've always challenged myself and the people who work with me to take new approaches to traditional business challenges, to push the envelope and constantly ask whether our sacred cows are still producing great milk. — Irene Rosenfeld

Milk many cows but make your own butter. — Erwin W. Lutzer

Naaaaaaayyyyy," said Pootie. "Milk comes out of goats?" I asked. "I thought milk came out of cows." "It comes out of goats, too, Arlo," said Andrea. Little Miss Know-It-All was proud of herself because she knew something I didn't know. I hate her. "See, we learned something already," said Mrs. Lizzy. "Goats — Dan Gutman

Almost all Christians being wretchedly enslaved to blindness and ignorance, which the priests are so far from preventing or removing, that they blacken the darkness, and promote the delusion: wisely foreseeing that the people (like cows, which never give down their milk so well as when they are gently stroked), would part with less if they knew more ... — Desiderius Erasmus

EATABLE MARSHMALLOW PILLOWS
LICKABLE WALLPAPER FOR NURSERIES
HOT ICE CREAMS FOR COLD DAYS
COWS THAT GIVE CHOCOLATE MILK
FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS
SQUARE SWEETS THAT LOOK ROUND — Roald Dahl

At dawn I had the assembly beaten; at broad daylight I had the drummers beat to arms, and started once more on our route, telling them that the Emperor was going to have all the deserters arrested. I marched until noon, and, as we emerged from a wood, I came upon a herd of cows grazing in a meadow. My soldiers immediately took their bowls, and went off to milk the cows, and we had to wait for them. When the evening came, they would camp before nightfall, and every time we came across any cows, we had to stop. It may be imagined that this was not much fun for me. At — Jean-Roch Coignet

The human body has no more need for cows' milk than it does for dogs' milk, horses' milk, or giraffes' milk. — Michael Klaper

It's no good crying over spilt milk; all we can do is bail up another cow — Ben Chifley

My grandfather milked several cows twice a day and supplied the neighbours with dairy products. He liked to go visiting around the county on Saturdays, and he also enjoyed the neighbours when they came by once a week with their empty milk jars. He walked them out to their cars and hung over the driver's side window until they drove off. — Kary Mullis

In my family we got up in the mornings around three o'clock and went out to the barns to bring the cows in and milk. In high school I milked about twenty cows every morning and about twenty in the afternoon when I got home. I have wonderful memories from those early days when my parent's influence was so strong. — Billy Graham

-Hardly knowing what i was doing, i began to hit the table with one hand as i sang in a low voice. Big cows" -thump- "lumps of meat" -thump. His widened. "Give me milk" -thump- "warm and sweet."
I stopped abruptly, pressing my lips together as I realized what I had just sung. The ridiculousness of it struck me forcibly and I knew I could not goon without laughing. We stared at each other,locked in a stalemate, his eyes brimming with laughter, his lips trembling. My chin quivered. Against my will, a sound burst from me. It was a very unladylike snort.- — Julianne Donaldson

A witch is a causal theory of explanation. And it's fair to say that if your causal theory to explain why bad things happen is that your neighbor flies around on a broom and cavorts with the devil at night, inflicting people, crops, and cattle with disease, preventing cows from giving milk, beer from fermenting, and butter from churning - and that the proper way to cure the problem is to burn her at the stake - then either you are insane or you lived in Europe six centuries ago, and you even had biblical support, specifically Exodus 22:18: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. — Michael Shermer

Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time? — Billy Connolly

Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be What thou art promised. Yet do I fear thy nature; It is too full o' the milk of human kindness. One of the cows mooed appreciatively. — Kelley Armstrong

Mankind has a free will; but it is free to milk cows and to build houses, nothing more. — Martin Luther

What good is a cow that neither gives milk nor conceives? Similarly, what is the value of the birth of a son if he becomes neither learned nor a pure devotee of the Lord? — Chanakya

You think you're a very clever fellow, don't you?" Saldur challenged.
"No, Your Grace," Merrick replied. "Clever is the man who makes a fortune selling dried-up cows, explaining how it saves the farmers the trouble of getting up every morning to milk them. I'm not clever - I'm a genius. — Michael J. Sullivan

Midwestern people stick together. Gee willikers, they work hard. There's no glitz, no glamour. When I was a girl in Duluth, Minnesota, I used to get up early and milk cows, so I know what hard work is. — Gena Lee Nolin

Over one hundred ninety species of ants have been found to grow a kind of fungi which they fertilize, plant, and even prune. Many of them also keep aphids the way we keep cows. They milk them to obtain their sweet honeydew and build shelters for them like barns. One kind of ant, the fierce Amazon, goes so far as to steal the larvae of other ants to keep as slaves. These slave ants build homes for and feed the Amazon ants, who are unable to do anything but fight. The soldier ants depend completely on the slave ants for survival. Without them, they would die. — Jenny Offill

There's no reason to drink cow's milk at any time in your life. It was designed for calves, not humans, and we should all stop drinking it today. — Frank Oski

Robots can now milk cows. Oil prices have fallen globally, meaning both the petro-states and those indirectly propped up by them are weakened. At the same time, slower growth in China has lately shrunk its voracious appetite for African, Australian, and Latin American commodities. China accounted for more than a third of global growth in recent years, and its growth engine multiplied the growth of many of the countries that exported raw materials to Beijing. That has slowed. China's total debt has grown from roughly 150 percent of its GDP in 2007 to around 240 percent today - a massive increase in one decade that is dampening its growth and its imports and shrinking China's wallet for foreign aid and investment in African and Latin American commodity-exporting countries. In — Thomas L. Friedman

If a farmer and his family can get up at 5:30 every morning to milk cows, surly we can get up at that time to practice basketball. — Don Meyer

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? — Steven Wright

Big cows,"
thump
"lumps of meat"
thump
. His eyes widened. "Give me milk"
thump
"warm and sweet"
thump. — Julianne Donaldson

If you ever have to give a speech, start with a joke, if you know one. For years I've been looking for the best joke in the world. I think I know what it is. I will tell it to you, but you have to help me. You have to say, "No," when I hold up my hand like this. All right? Don't let me down.
Do you know why cream is so much more expensive than milk?
AUDIENCE: No.
It is because the cows hate to squat on those bottles. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

We don't have milk cows. People have so many stereotypes of people from where I come from - Oklahoma. We don't ride around in covered wagons, either. — Carrie Underwood

I grew up eating hamburger helper, macaroni and cheese, and drinking lots of milk, and looked at lots of cows; but I feel like a New Yorker now, I've lived here for sixteen years. — Adam Rapp

Don't cry over spilled milk
get angry and punch a cow. — Stephen Colbert

American Heart Association has reported that 75 per cent of heart involvements begin before ten years of age. My studies have shown that in about 95 per cent of these cases there is active tooth decay. The important change that I made in this boy's dietary program was the removal of the white flour products and in their stead the use of freshly cracked or ground wheat and oats used with whole milk to which was added a small amount of specially high vitamin butter produced by cows pasturing on green wheat. Small doses of a high-vitamin, natural cod liver oil were also added. At this time the boy was so badly crippled with arthritis, in his swollen knees, wrists, and rigid spine, that he was bedfast and cried by the hour. With the improvement in his nutrition which was the only change made in his care, his acute pain rapidly subsided, his appetite greatly improved, he slept soundly and gained rapidly in weight — Anonymous

Networked cows are the most effective milk generators on the planet. — Peter Hinssen

God himself will milk the cows through him whose vocation that is. — Martin Luther

I've married a man who owns nine cows," said Jinjur to Ozma, "and now I am happy and contented and willing to lead a quiet life and mind my own business."
"Where is your husband?" asked Ozma.
"He is in the house, nursing a black eye," replied Jinjur, calmly. "The foolish man would insist upon milking the red cow when I wanted him to milk the white one; but he will know better next time, I am sure. — L. Frank Baum

If you're eating or drinking something made from cow's milk, it's because a calf chained in a box somewhere isn't. — Dan Piraro

You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk one. — Harper Lee

In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk," Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. "When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or: "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention. — Lemony Snicket