Quotes & Sayings About Midgets

Louis said, "There ought to be a comic book about geeks."
Dr. McNaughton said, "There are books about geeks."
He said, "There are?"
Dr. McNaughton said, "I'll read you some Faulkner sometime. I'll read you some Eudora Welty, some Flannery O'Connor. Geeks, midgets, anything your heart desires. Better than comic books."
Louis looked at his father. He said, "You'll read to me? Really? — Lewis Nordan

Life is short. But so are midgets. — Jarod Kintz

I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me."
"A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said.
"Actually, she wasn't a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel. — Cassandra Clare

Whoa," I say. "Look how tall he is." "Actors are always midgets in person," says Brandon, "But writers ... they're giants. — Matthew Norman

Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I'm in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can't get up right away. — Chelsea Handler

Are you a producer or a looter? If diversity were always and everywhere good we would be clamoring for more midgets in the NBA. — Jonah Goldberg

He was in blue jeans and a work shirt, which is another weird quirk of Rich Old Men. Just one of the guys here. Blue jeans and a work shirt, salt of the earth, working man like yourself. Like they're somehow uncomfortable about being rich enough to sleep in a bed made of vaginas being pulled around the town at night by a fleet of gold-covered midgets. — Warren Ellis

My dad was very successful running midgets in Texas. Then, his two drivers ran into some bad luck. People started saying that Daddy had lost his touch. That it was the cars and not the drivers. I wanted to race just to prove all those people wrong. — A. J. Foyt

The people there were gods and midgets and knew themselves mortal and so the midgets walked tall so as not to embarrass the gods and the gods crouched so as to make the small ones feel at home. — Ray Bradbury

Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag. — Craig Ferguson

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them. — Sarah Silverman

There are a lot of good comics, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics - there are black comics that work only black crowds, gay comics that do only gay crowds, and southern comics that only work down South, and so on with Asian, Latino, Indian, midgets, etc. The previous generation's comics were better because they had to make everybody laugh. — Chris Rock

Small children do not belong at an adult party, and especially should not be used like trained midgets to help serve martinis. — Barbara Walters

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it. — Phyllis Diller

If he ever got back to earth, he was making them list that as one of the dangers of outer space exploration, dammit. Watch out for big damn space perverts, all you earth midgets. — Twisted Hilarity

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together. — Gene Shue

They say Los Angeles is like The Wizard of Oz. One minute it's small-town monochrome neighborhoods and then boom - all of a sudden you're in a sprawling Technicolor freak show, dense with midgets. — David Wong

Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM! — Tucker Max

Where's the use of looking nice, when no one sees me but those cross midgets, and no one cares whether I'm pretty or not? — Louisa May Alcott

One exhibition to which Tom Norman became particularly attached was his family of midgets. It consisted of two midgets, billed as man and wife and always brought into town in a specially constructed miniature coach drawn by ponies. In each town on the tour he made a point of closing the show down for a few days so as to allow the lady midget to 'give birth to her baby'. A new-born infant would then be hired to stand in for the hypothetical offspring, and even larger queues always gathered after such a 'happy event' to see the new arrival. The only problem was the difficulty he had in restraining the 'mother' from swearing volubly, smoking a pipe and drinking gin in front of the customers. The exhibition finally came to grief when the 'mother' ran away one night, objecting to being displayed as a woman any longer, both midgets being men. — Peter Ford

Some people have a phobia of midgets. They're, like, scared of them. I have the opposite - I see them, and I want to hold them down, cuddle them, be like, 'Come here, you little nugget. Who's your mommy now?' So cute! — Chelsea Handler

You know what we pride ourselves on that - although I wouldn't mind if my backside was a little smaller. But look at the original divas ... take Aretha Franklin for example - I've seen her live in the States and she was mammoth, but she had that crowd under control and they doted on every movement she made! We're not little midgets but the music industry is not about that, it's about loving the music and respecting what you do. — Kate DeAraugo

Im being haunted by midgets. Heavy, determined, club wieldind midgets — Paul Magrs

I disagree with Muhammad. I'm against hate, anti-Semitism and homophobia. ... This is not a village of hate. It's a village of hope. ... Don't let midgets give us a bad name. There are still giants in Harlem giants who will stand up for our children. — Al Sharpton

Many of us are confessional giants but ethical midgets. — Mark Buchanan

When Jed comes in and gives you that look where his forehead wrinkles up and his chin drops so low that his baggy eyes can't even look you square in your eyes, well, I guess you realize that it must be your turn to get out into the winter snow and round up the midgets. — Jarod Kintz

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons ... Republicans: The No. 1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb, and dangerous. — Garrison Keillor

These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets. — Craig Ferguson

A major shortcoming of the Resistance is the outnumbering, before long, of the genuine warriors by camera-carrying midgets intent on leaving a record of their purported heroism. — Coco Chanel

When one speaks of sex with midgets, one must speak French. — Dennis Vickers

We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-suburban hip-hop settings. We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets. — Michael Steele

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets. — Alan Cooper

People were fed up with reality shows about midgets getting married and weird Jerry Springer talk shows. There had been a real dry spell of intelligent family-oriented viewing: the type of program that Mom, Dad and the kids can all watch together. With 'Lost,' there are just so many characters for people to invest in. — Evangeline Lilly

Ron, we're supposed to show the first years where to go!"
"Oh yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten.
"Hey
hey you lot! Midgets! — J.K. Rowling

Don't creationists ever wonder about the fact that the paleontologists found ape-like skulls with the 'human leg and foot bones,' rather than the other way around, i.e., human skulls with 'ape leg and foot bones?' ... Come on, creationists, think about it! Did God hide the human skulls, only leaving behind leg and foot bones belonging to human midgets with misshapen feet, and mix such bones only with the skulls of ape-like creatures with larger cranial capacities than living apes? What a 'kidder' the creationists' God must be. — Edward Babinski

I've got a theory, it could be bunnies ... I've got a theor- Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots-? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Bunnies, bunnies it must be bunnies! ... or maybe midgets ... — Joss Whedon

We praise like frogs, Swear like frogs, Turn midgets into heroes, and heroes into scum: We never stop and think. — Nizar Qabbani

The book "Little Women," what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets. — Jarod Kintz

(Of Marilyn Monroe) She was good at being inarticulately abstracted for the same reason that midgets are good at being short — Clive James

When Hodges returns to his chair with his small bundle of mail, the fight-show host is saying goodbye and promising his TV Land audience that tomorrow there will be midgets. Whether of the physical or mental variety he does not specify. — Stephen King

They were panting dwarfs, imps gasping for breath, and their beards dragged along the ground. Each carried a strange implement of torture. Some held bloody leather belts studded with iron, some clasp knives and ox goads, some thick, wide-headed nails. Three midgets whose behinds nearly scraped the ground carried a massive, unwieldy cross; and last of all came the vilest of the lot, a cross-eyed pygmy holding a crown of thorns. — Nikos Kazantzakis

I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. — Gilbert Gottfried