Michael Shane Quotes & Sayings

I think so," she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"Nah, Michael's got mine." He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.
"I've got yours. — Rachel Caine

He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded" Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first."
Michael shook his head. "So what's on your good list?"
"Oh you know. Hero stuff that gets me rerun on CNN, Like I died saving a busload of supermodels" Claire smacked his arm. "Ow! Saving them! What did you think I meant? — Rachel Caine

That's not trouble; that's fail. Tell me that isn't all the whites. Like, Michael's and Shane's, too."
"All the whites," Claire said, and held up the guilty red sock. "Yours?"
"Oh, damn." Eve snatched it out of Claire's fingers and shook the sock like a floppy rattle. "Bad sock! Bad! You are never going anywhere fun ever again! — Rachel Caine

Give the girl some credit. At least she told you, instead of letting you figure it out on your own."
"Yeah, and she told me last!" Eve glared at the two boys, hands on her hips.
"Boyfriend," Shane said, holding up his hand.
"Landlord," Michael chimed in.
"Crap," Eve sighed. "I guess that does leave me in last place. — Rachel Caine

Man, you really didn't know, did you?" Shane shook his head. "Michael was in love with you." Gabe — Sloane Kennedy

What time is it?"
"Three a.m. Michael's making a snack. You want anything?"
"Um...no. Thanks." She slid off the couch and then stood there like an idiot, unwilling to leave because he was still smiling and...she liked it. "Who won?"
"Which game?"
"Oh. I guess I was asleep for a while."
"Don't worry. We didn't let the zombies get you." This time, his smile was positively wicked. Claire felt it like a hot blanket all over her skin. — Rachel Caine

He let Shane drop back down in his chair, and walked out, back stiff. Furious.
Shane sat with his hands clutching at the armrests. He exchanged a stunned look with Eve, and they both stood up at once. "No," Shane said. "I did it. Let me fix it."
He went off after Michael. Eve chewed her lip and said, "Well, we're either going to see half the house destroyed, or their bromance is going to go all the way. — Rachel Caine

Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they'd consider wrong. Or at least risky. — Rachel Caine

Shane stood up when he saw her, which made her heart turn cartwheels, and he pulled out her chair. Eve and Michael shared an amused look.
"So cute," Eve said. When Shane glared, she smiled. "No, really. It is. Dude, chill. — Rachel Caine

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire. — Rachel Caine

Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that. — Rachel Caine

I like the sound of that, crashing Monica's party," he glanced at Michael, then quickly away. "What about you? That break some kind of vampire rules or something?"
"Blow me Shane."
"Boys," Eve said primly. "Language. Minor at the table."
"Well," Shane said, "I wasn't actually planning to do it."
Claire rolled her eyes. "Not like it's the first time I've heard it. Or said it."
"You shouldnt say it," Michael said, all seriousness. "No, I mean it. Girls should say 'eat me' not 'blow me'. Wouldn't recommend 'bite me' though. Not around here. — Rachel Caine

I'm ashamed to say this, but I watched every episode of 'Starsky and Hutch' as a kid. I loved that show, but now I think it's stupid - they'd have a car chase for no reason, then Paul Michael Glaser would shoot the car and it would blow up. — Shane Black

I'm a vampire, idiot. I don't have x-ray vision." "Some supernatural monster you are, remind me to trade you in for a werewolf, bro. Probably be more useful right now. — Rachel Caine

He looked stunned. "That's not what I - "
"It was," she said, interrupting him. "You acted like a vamp, Michael. Like any vamp getting
back-talked by a human. You could have gotten us hurt. You could have gotten Eve killed!"
Michael looked at Shane, who lifted his shoulders in a tiny, apologetic shrug. "She's not
wrong, bro."
"That's not what it was," Michael insisted. "I was just trying to - look, Eve started it."
"Hey! That thump you heard was me under the bus, there! "
Shane shrugged again. "And now Michael's not wrong. Hey, I like this game. I don't have to
be the wrong one for once in my life."
"Shut up, Shane," Eve snapped. "What about you, Miss Oh, sir, please let my friends go; I'm
such a delicate little flower? What a crock of shit, Claire! — Rachel Caine

Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it."
Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen."
Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame."
- Black Dawn — Rachel Caine

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks. — Rachel Caine

Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean. — Rachel Caine

Shane Claiborne, author of The Irresistible Revolution, once surveyed a group of people who identified themselves as "strong followers of Jesus" and asked them, "Did Jesus spend time with the poor?" Around 80 percent replied in the affirmative, leaving a disturbing 20 percent of so-called strong followers of Jesus who think Jesus didn't spend time with the poor. That this could be the case should remind us of the levels of Christian ignorance about our founder and Lord. But the more disturbing fact is that Claiborne asked the same group, "Do you spend time with the poor?" Only 2 percent replied that they did. There is for many an almost complete disconnect between our beliefs about Jesus and our actions. This disconnection lies at the nub of the problem facing the church. — Michael Frost

Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact! — Rachel Caine

Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners."
"And to cleaning," Michael said.
"Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room? — Rachel Caine

Maybe you're not his type." Michael said
"Oh, now you're just being insulting. — Rachel Caine

She keeps asking me where we're going."
"Yeah," another voice said. It was Shane, pulling up a chair beside Claire. "Girls do that. They've always got to be taking the relationship somewhere."
"That's not true!"
"It is," he said. "I get it; somebody's got to be looking ahead. But it makes guys think they're-"
"Closed in," Michael said.
"Trapped," Shane added.
"Idiots," Claire finished. — Rachel Caine

Claire said. "I might be able to get him to stop."
"Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might pull your head off," Shane said. "I kind of worry."
She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah?"
"A little bit."
"That's ... nice."
He studied her, and returned the smile. "Yeah," he said. "Kind of is, actually. — Rachel Caine

Michael rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, "I vant to drink your blood" in a heavy, fake-Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen.
You sabotaged me!" Kim yelled, dropped the controller, and smacked him hard on the chest. "I can't believe you just totally sabotaged me!"
Can't let him lose," Michael said, as Shane hit the high score and the victory music sounded. "Gotta live with the dude."
They high-fived.
You're seriously going to take that as a win," Kim said. "When he totally cheated for you."
Yes," Shane said. "I seriously am. — Rachel Caine

Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?'
Claire: 'Yep'
Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since ... we wouldn't have made it. Not me, not Shane, not Eve. Not without you.'
Claire: 'It's not me. It's not! It's us, that's all. We're just better together. We ... take care of each other.'
Shane: 'Stop vamping up my girl, man. She needs coffee.'
Michael: 'Don't we all. Vamping up your girl? Dude. That's low.'
Shane: 'Digging for China. Come on. — Rachel Caine

Thats why i'm staying here,"claire said."with you.tonight."shane took in a deep breath."clothes stay on." "mostly,"she agreed. "you know,your parents really are right about me."claire sighed."no,they're not.nobody knows you at all,i think.not your dad,not even michael.your a deep,dark mystery,shane."he kissed her for the first time since she'd entered the room,a warm press of lips to her forehead."i'm an open book." she smiled."i like books." "hey,we've got something in common." i'm taking off my shoes." "fine.shoes off." "and my pants." "dont push it claire. — Rachel Caine

I'm not a kid!" she told Shane hotly. "I'm only, like, a year younger than Eve!"
"And girls are much more mature." Eve nodded wisely. "So you're about ten years older than Shane, then."
"Seriously," Claire insisted. "I'm not a kid!"
"Whatever you say, kid," Shane said blandly. "Cheer up. Just means you don't have to put up with me telling you how much sex I didn't get."
"I'm telling Michael," Eve warned.
"About how much sex I didn't get? Go ahead. — Rachel Caine

Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. — Rachel Caine

As he filled the mug with coffee, Michael waited for Shane to make some sense. Which Shane finally did, holding up the cheaply printed white flyer. It curled around the edges from where it had been rolled up to fit in the mailbox. "What have I always wanted in this town?" he asked.

"A strip club that would let in fifteen year olds?" Michael said.

"When I was fifteen. No, seriously, what?"

"Guns 'R Us?"

Shane made a harsh buzzer sound. "Okay, to be fair, yeah, that's a good alternate answer. But no. I always wanted a place to seriously train to fight, right? Someplace that didn't think aerobics was a martial art? And look! — Rachel Caine

Seriously," Shane said, "this kind of is the worst situation we've ever been in, right?"
"Speak for yourself," Michael said. "I got myself killed last year. Twice."
"Oh yeah. You're right - last year really sucked for you. — Rachel Caine

I'll do it!"
"No, you won't," Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. "You're barely on your feet, Claire. You don't go anywhere, not without me."
"And me," Michael said.
"Hell," Eve sighed. "I guess that means I have to go, too. Which I may not ever forgive you for, even if I don't die horribly. — Rachel Caine

Shane and Claire quickly moved to stand back to back. So did Eve and Michael. Among the
four of them, they were covering every angle.
"Lurking isn't answering," Shane said. "Oliver? Little help?"
Instead, one of the shapes stepped forward into the light. Morley. Claire felt relieved, and
annoyed. Of course it was Morley. Why had she ever doubted it? He was the champion lurker
of all time. — Rachel Caine

Anybody else think that was weird?' Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.
'Ya think? In general, or in particular?'
'Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn't have to hit anybody.'
There was a moment of silence. Michael said, as he started the car, 'You're right, Shane. That is strange. — Rachel Caine

Amelie said, "I won't be your servant in Morganville. Nor should you be mine. Equals." She offered her hand to him, and he looked down at it, clearly taken aback. But he took it. "Now defend what is ours, my partner."
He grinned ... grinned! ... and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked. — Rachel Caine

Well, friend, I don't know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody," Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. "Have we been introduced?"
"Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?"
"You're not my type, darling. Is this one yours?"
"No," Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. "Let's say she's a friend of the family. — Rachel Caine

If you ask me if I'm imagining it again, I'm going to punch you out, Dead Man Walking."
Michael raised his eyebrows and glanced at Eve. "He doesn't sound crazy."
"Er," she clarified, "crazier. He sounds like he's back to normal, which is baseline crazy. — Rachel Caine

Of course, we could all die soon. I'm writing because Michael's patrolling the house and Shane and Claire are asleep. It may be the last chance I have to write anything down.
So in case that's true, I want to say that I love Shane and Claire, and I love Michael, and staying here in the Glass House has been the best time in my entire life ...
But if it all ends here, at least it's ending with the people I really love. — Rachel Caine

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not ... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar. — Rachel Caine

Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said. — Rachel Caine

SHANE:WANT SOME SHANE ASKED.COME AND GET IT BAT BOY
MICHAEL:YOUR NOT MY BLOOD TYPE BRO — Rachel Caine

Michael patted him on the shoulder. "I like this plan," he said. "You and Eve, picking up cake and flowers, and you can't even say a word. Should be tons of fun."
Shane almost choked, and gave Michael a sideways glare. Michael sent him a hundred-watt smile in return - no fangs, which was probably for the best. — Rachel Caine

Shane:do we have a choice
michael:dont think so
shane:then screw im gitting tired lets go get eaten.at least then i can get some sleep — Rachel Caine

I'm faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I'm a vampire," Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. "If you get in trouble, I'll be there."
"Nice," Shane said. "I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey."
"No, you're not."
"Okay, no, I'm not, but right now let's pretend I am. — Rachel Caine

You okay?" "Fine." "Your heart's beating really fast." "Gee, thanks. That's very comforting that you can hear it." He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she'd first met before all the vamp stuff. "Yeah, I know it is. Sorry. Just stay behind me if there's trouble." "You sound like Shane." "Well, he did say he'd kill me if I got you hurt. I'm just looking after my own neck." "Liar. — Rachel Caine

Your father's an asshole. It's not a disease. You don't have to catch it. — Rachel Caine

Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said. — Rachel Caine

The universe explodes, hell freezes, and Shane does something resonable. — Rachel Caine

Shane looked down at the staked vamp at his feet. 'Claire?'
'Yes?'
'You staked a vampire with a number two pencil.'
'I didn't actually check the number.'
'Have I told you lately how freaking awesome you are?'
She tried to smile, but her heart was fluttering in her chest now, and not in a good way. 'Compliments later. We really need to get out of here and get to the car. Any ideas?'
'Find another pencil and I'll pin this one down, too,' Michael said.
'You know how weird that sounds, right?' Shane said. 'Right, never mind. Number two pencil, coming up. Why do I feel like we're taking a test? — Rachel Caine

Don't!" Lillian yelled, and put up her arms when Shane pulled back the bat.
"Hell," Shane spat in disgust. "I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her." He tossed her the bat. Claire grabbed it and came to a clumsy batting stance, wishing she'd paid more attention in phys ed. Lillian screamed again and ran into the open doorway of Eve's room. Eve, coming up the stairs, screamed, too, for different reasons.
"Hey! That's my room, bitch!" And she flew in to grab Lillian by the hair, swing her around, and throw her out into the hall, then shoved her toward the stairs. "Michael! This one needs to go out! — Rachel Caine

Pics or it didn't happen."
"Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame. — Rachel Caine

Michael!" Oliver's voice came faint through the front door. "Something you should see, my boy! Look out your windows!"
"Trap," Shane said instantly, and reached out to grab Michael's arm as he walked by. "Don't, man."
"What's he going to do? Make faces at me? — Rachel Caine

He (Michael) was gone in a whisper of air, hardly making any sound at all, and Claire shivered and leaned against Shane's solid, very human warmth. His arms went around her, and he touched
his lips lightly to the back of her neck. "How can you smell this good after the kind of crappy day we've had?"
"I sweat perfume. Like all girls. — Rachel Caine

No," Shane said. "I'm not leaving you two here alone. We stick together."
"I'm still not kissing you," Michael said.
"Tease. — Rachel Caine

Claire. Wake up. She blinked and realized that her head was on Shane's shoulder, and Michael was nowhere to be seen. Her first thought was, Oh my God, am I drooling? Her second was that she hadn't realized she was so close to him, snuggled in. Her third was that although Michael's part of the couch was empty, Shane hadn't moved away. And he was watching her with warm, friendly eyes. Oh. Oh, wow, that was nice. — Rachel Caine

She went back to Shane and settles in on his lap again, arm around his neck. His circled her waist. "I thought you had to go," he said. "And don't think i didn't see you kissing on my best friend."
"He deserved it."
"Yeah. Maybe i ought to kiss him, too."
Michael, on his way out, didn't bother to turn around for that one. "Oh sure, you always promise. — Rachel Caine

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?"
"Like what?"
"Like hitting on you."
"Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way."
Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee.
"What? You think he does?"
"Sometimes he looks at you a little ... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood."
"Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?"
"Not enough coffee. — Rachel Caine

Oh, come on, just this once," Eve said. "Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?
That's kind of crucial, right?"
"Thanks for the thought, but it doesn't go with my shoes."
"You're seriously going to worry about what people think right now?"
"No, I'm worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey."
Michael, straight-faced, said, "He's got a point, because I would definitely take pictures. So would you."
Eve had to grin. "Yeah, I would. Okay, then. But you'd look glam. I could fix you up with silver eye shadow to match. — Rachel Caine

Hey, Mikey? You get her hurt and I'll end you.'
'You let anything happen to Eve and I'll do the same,' Michael said. He'd just finished kissing Eve, too. 'While you're at it, don't get yourself killed, either, bro.'
'Ditto. And don't kiss me.'
Claire cocked her head at him, exasperated. 'Seriously, Shane? Ditto? That's the best you can do?'
Shane and Michael exchanged identical looks and shrugs. Guys.
'Let me show you idiots how it's done,' Eve said, and hugged Claire fiercely. She kissed her on the cheek. 'I love you, CB. Please take care of yourself, okay?'
'I love you, too,' Claire said, and suddenly her throat felt tight and her eyes burned with tears. 'I really do.'
Shane and Michael watched them with identical expressions of blank bemusement, and finally Shane said, 'So basically, it's what I said. Ditto. — Rachel Caine

My whole world changed when Michael Jackson brought out the Bad album when I was about eight or nine. He took over my whole life and from then on I wanted to be Michael Jackson. I watched his videos for hours and learned how to dance like him. I would push back the chairs in the room and learn his dance moves. I even taught myself to moonwalk. — Shane Filan

Maybe we should go along," Shane said. "Strength in numbers, man." Michael smiled at Eve and shook his head. "After she bitch-slapped the Founder? Not a good idea. — Rachel Caine