Meetings Humor Quotes & Sayings

National security is vital for economic and social progress. — Paul Kagame

Forceful little thing, aren't you?"
"You have no idea. So we doing this or not?"
Those lush lips twitched. "Let me get this straight. We're going to the bathroom, and I'm going to fuck you, and you don't even care to know my name?"
"I'd actually prefer it if you'd keep your stupid mouth closed." Oops. Her hatred was slipping out.
"Well, well. You might just be my soul mate. — Gena Showalter

Part of my life no longer made sense. A life of meetings stretched between appointments, half listening to people, always running late. A life dictated by clocks and money and computers and cars, without hawks and lakes and wild roses. A world increasingly without surprise or humor. I thought of how we as a species have endangered not only animals and plants around us but the wild nature of our own lives. We have fabricated this world, to paraphrase the writer Phillip Sherrard, and our punishment is that we have to adapt to it. — Norah Gallagher

A sure way to start your own business is to stay out of everyone else's. — Kathy McClary

Then again, in some of our meetings, the Upyri bring cocktails, shaking both cocks and tails. Bitches. You can't live with them, they can't live without you. It's a lose-lose situation. — Yannis Karatsioris

When it comes to Father's Day, I will remember my dad for both being there to nurture me and also for the times he gave me on my own to cultivate my own interests and to nurture my own spirit. — Jennifer Grant

To him who disgraces his family life is no life, and to such a person there is no one a friend, neither while living nor when dead. — Plato

There's lots of people will help you with alcohol business, but there's no one out there arranging little meetings where you can stand up and say, 'My name is Sam Vimes and I'm a really suspicious bastard. — Terry Pratchett

It starts innocently. Casually. You turn up at the annual spring fair full of beans, help with the raffle tickets (because the pretty red-haired music teacher asks you to) and win a bottle of whiskey (all school raffles are fixed), and, before you know where you are, you're turning up at the weekly school council meetings, organizing concerts, discussing plans for a new music department, donating funds for the rejuvenation of the water fountains - you're implicated in the school, you're involved in it. Sooner or later you stop dropping your children at the school gates. You start following them in. — Zadie Smith

I enjoy moving. I like to be in a new place. Settling down doesn't appeal to me much. I like the whole business of it. And I love the first night in the new place. — Ruth Rendell

During their subsequent meetings, which were soon and often, Lance confessed and anatomized his passion for her. He even gave her its (the passion's, of course) biography. It had been born of a book jacket, the one responsible for the only really nice thing ever said about Eloise Michaud in a metropolitan review - The photo-portrait on the book jacket will move as many books as, say, good writing might. To be honest, however, the picture is worth quite the price of the volume. Miss Michaud is the most scrumptious scrivener ever to set pen to the paper of a book-club contract. — Theodore Sturgeon

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings. — Dave Barry

CASHIER: Are you a member of our club?
ME: Um, I'm just getting hot dogs.
CASHIER: That'll be four thousand dollars...or you can join our club.
ME: Um, I can't come to a lot of meetings, but I guess I'll join.
CASHIER: It's really convenient. Fill out this personal information for the next ten minutes. — Jim Gaffigan

The mentality of the Russian demands a lord, a czar, a president. — Valentina Matviyenko

Billions of years before twelve step groups, God committed shotgun suicide. Today wall scrapings share His gratitude stories. — Brian Spellman

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. — George F. Will

A man on a thousand mile walk has to forget his goal and say to himself every morning, 'Today I'm going to cover twenty-five miles and then rest up and sleep. — Leo Tolstoy

I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings. — Steven Wright

The passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 represented precisely such a hope - that America had learned from its past and acted to secure a better tomorrow. — Aberjhani

If, as I have reason to believe, I have disintegrated the nucleus of the atom, this is of greater significance than the war.
[Apology to the international anti-submarine committee for being absent from several meetings during World War I.] — Ernest Rutherford

You show up at these meetings to stay sober and you walk out with a fucking education. — Lawrence Block

The binders, the charts, the grids may seem formidable, but the meetings themselves are built around informality, trust, emotion and humor. — Jack Welch

People have done this before, but not us. — Ada Limon