Mean Sarcasm Quotes & Sayings

Hi, Albert," Quinn called back. He seemed distracted. And Albert was sure that he'd seen Quinn motion for someone to stay down.
"How long is this supposed to go on?" Albert asked.
"Until we get justice," Quinn said.
"Justice? People have been waiting for justice since the dinosaurs."
Quinn said nothing and Albert cursed himself for indulging in sarcasm. "What is it you want, Quinn? I mean in practical terms."
"We want Penny gone," Quinn said.
"I can't afford to pay you any more," Albert shouted back.
"I didn't say anything about money," Quinn said, sounding puzzled.
"Yeah, I know: justice. Usually what people really want is money. So why don't we get down to it?"
"Penny," Quinn said. "She leaves town. She stays gone. When that happens we fish. Until it happens, we sit." He sat down as if to emphasize his point. — Michael Grant

I'm sorry I missed the meeting and hurt your little feely-weels okay? — Nenia Campbell

The only times you say what I'm thinking, it's without any of the sarcasm and therefore the exact opposite of what I mean. — Brian Clevinger

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss? — Nenia Campbell

It's okay to like jerks. I mean, it'd be better to like a nice guy, but there aren't any. — Daniel Handler

Yeah, I was just curious. I concentrated on my footsteps.
Yeah, well, next time you think about stepping into rock concerts you might want to bring a bodyguard.
I stopped and turned around. I brought my hands to my hips, a bit offended. What is that supposed to mean?
He dropped the end of the bat into the sand.
It means your small. — Holly Hood

Scarlet cocked her head. "Are you sure you don't want me to go? It's going to require some precise manuvering to attach to the docking clamp, and from what Cinder told me about your flying skills ... "
"What do you mean? What did Cinder say about my flying skills?"
Scarlet and Cinder shared a look. "Naturally, she told me that you're a fantastic pilot," said Scarlet, "Absolutely top-notch."
"I think she was practicing her sarcasm," said Iko.
Thorne glared, but Cinder only shrugged. — Marissa Meyer

How does knowing 'things could be worse' than what I already deem awful make me feel any better? You mean I could sink even lower? Oh joy! — Richelle E. Goodrich

In my mind, she was Lebkuchen Spice - ironic, Germanic, sexy, and off beat. And, mein Gott, the girl could bake a damn fine cookie ... to the point that I wanted to answer her What do you want for Christmas? with a simple More cookies, please!
But no. She warned me not to be a smart-ass, and while that answer was totally sincere, I was afraid she would think I was joking or,
worse, kissing up.
It was a hard question, especially if I had to batten down the sarcasm. I mean, there was the beauty pageant answer of world peace, although I'd probably have to render it in the beauty pageant spelling of world peas. I could play the boo-hoo orphan card and wish for my whole family to be together, but that was the last thing I wanted, especially at this late date. — David Levithan

Automatic simply means that you can?t repair it yourself. — Frank Capra

Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didn't mean to. And I didn't kill her, kill her."
"Oh, I see. As long as you didn't kill her, kill her, then that's okay. — Karen Marie Moning

People in Africa have a well-deserved reputation for being happy. This may explain why: there is no word in Swahili for "sarcasm" therefore Africans have no concept of saying something and having it mean a playfully snide version of the opposite. — Will Bowen

There are three ways to say, I love you, man.

The first one is an announcement, said at full volume and often accompanied by a swear word. It's sort of Thank you, sort of You're cool, with a little And damn, you make me look good thrown in. This is how kellen said it.

The second one is a diss, said with four and a half tons of sarcasm and most likely a reference to the father, son, or Holy Ghost. There's no sort of about it. It means I hate you right now.

The third one comes wrapped in caution tape. It is said quietly and on its own, without any adjectives. There's no 'sort of' to this one, either, because you mean it.

Like I did. — Sarah Tregay

I'd love to start some movements. What I'm tired of is irony, and sarcasm, and music/movies/what have you, not having the guts to mean anything. — Don Hertzfeldt

I know you do not understand what I am trying to tell you; I know you do not understand, because it is the thing that goes deepest into my heart, and there are no words as deep down as that. How can I make you know the reality of it? The world has spattered us all over with words, with cant phrases, with sarcasm, and with fulsome flattery. The world has been so officiously eager to explain for us the thing we mean and the worth of the thing that now, when we try to speak, our meaning is veiled, concealed, smothered, by the hideous volubility of facile expression. How can it have any reality for you when you hear only words about it? — Florence Converse

Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference. — Bryant McGill

So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers ... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm? — Ellen DeGeneres

I mean, I may not hold the record in cleaning house either, but if I've got old milk cartons that smell like maggots I bundle them up and put them out."
"I'm on a disability pension'" he said. "I'm socially incompetent. — Stieg Larsson

Sam glanced at him. "Feeling sorry for yourself, are you? I suppose you're allowed. I mean, look at how bloody awful your life is."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Griffin retorted. — Kady Cross

It's kind of depressing, if you think about it. I mean, me being so young, and yet so cynical and suspicious. — Meg Cabot

You raise an eyebrow at me speculatively.
"Really?" you enquire your voice full of sarcasm.
"Respect me how Jenna? By choosing not to spend any
time with me? By not even bothering to let me know
where you are? By rolling in when you feel like it? Well
then ... I think we need to redefine what we mean by
respect Jenna, don't you? — Felicity Brandon

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur." — Arthur Conan Doyle

And then what? Said, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Lane, I didn't mean to wrinkle your lovely blouse. May I press that for you?' Or perhaps you gouged it with one of your pretty pink nails?
I was really beginning to wonder what his hang-up with pink was, but I didn't resent the sarcasm in his voice. — Karen Marie Moning

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must. — Bruce LaBruce

What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking. — Ashley Elston

Follow me. Yves held out a hand, expecting me to take it.
I had had enough of being pushed about, towed here,
shoved there. Lead the way, O master.
He raised an eyebrow at my sarcasm. Glad to see you
have seen the light. I only want what's best for you.
Mr Arrogant or what?
I don't mean it like that. He shook his head, telling
himself off. I just want to make this right but I seem to be
doing it all wrong.
Then let me go.
That would be a tragedy. Give me a chance here.
Please. — Joss Stirling

The very concept of trying to 'teach' a lover things feels patronising, incongruous and plain sinister. If we truly loved someone, there could be no talk of wanting him or her to change. Romanticism is clear on this score: true love should involve an acceptance of a partner's whole being. It is this fundamental commitment to benevolence that makes the early months of love so moving. Within the new relationship, our vulnerabilities are treated with generosity. Our shyness, awkwardness and confusion endear (as they did when we were children) rather than generate sarcasm or complain; the trickier sides of us are interpreted solely through the filter of compassion.
From these moments, a beautiful yet challenging, and even reckless, conviction develops: that to be properly loved must always mean being endorsed for all that one is. — Alain De Botton

I do not understand exactly what you mean by fear," said Tarzan. "Like lions, fear is a different thing in different men, but to me the only pleasure in the hunt is the knowledge that the hunted thing has power to harm me as much as I have to harm him. If I went out with a couple of rifles and a gun bearer, and twenty or thirty beaters, to hunt a lion, I should not feel that the lion had much chance, and so the pleasure of the hunt would be lessened in proportion to the increased safety which I felt."
"Then I am to take it that Monsieur Tarzan would prefer to go naked into the jungle, armed only with a jackknife, to kill the king of beasts," laughed the other good naturedly, but with the merest touch of sarcasm in his tone.
"And a piece of rope," added Tarzan. — Edgar Rice Burroughs

It feels good to shoot your veins full of heroin too, but that doesn't mean you should go out and become a junkie. — Noelle Blakely

Foreign, eh?" Hetty frowned. "Then I am glad Mr. Pinter is looking into his background. You have to be careful with foreigners."
"Right. I wouldn't want to rush into marriage with a stranger," Celia said tartly. "Oh, wait, yes, I would. My grandmother has dictated that I must."
Hetty stifled a smile. "Sarcasm does not become you, dear girl."
"Draconian ultimatums don't become you, Gran."
"Complain if you must, but I still mean to see you married by year's end. — Sabrina Jeffries

What do you want ?
It was a hard question, especially if I had to bat en down the sarcasm. I mean, there was the beauty pageant answer of world peace, although I'd probably have to render it in the beauty pageant spelling of world peas. — Rachel Cohn

Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the Guardians' citadel, it looked like a pretty plum assignment. I mean, how much trouble could a girl get into under heavy guard in a tower room? Notice I didn't ask that question out loud. No need to rub Fate's nose in something when I'd been tempting her enough lately.
Phaelan had generously his guard services as well, just in case something happened to me that my Guardian bodyguards couldn't handle. Phaelan's guard-on-duty stance resembled his pirate-on-shore-leave stane of leaning back in a chair with his feet up, but instead of a tavern table, his boots were doing a fine job of holding down the windowsill. I don't know how I'd ever felt safe without him. — Lisa Shearin

To be friends, One has to keep the professional ego and the sense of superiority aside. Why do we misinterpret 'sarcasm' it does not mean to humiliate others. You cannot earn respect till you learn how to be polite. You never initiate, and when you do, your skeptical attitude of approach retaliates no friendship but a bunch of dried roses.. — Himmilicious

-I taught you Hindi and everything
That's basically the same as getting engaged for missionaries

-And I really appreciate that
It will be terribly useful in my career as an English governess

-See?
That
There.
that is exactly the kind of tone I mean
One round of cholera in the tropics would sear that sarcasm right out of you

-guess I really missed out

-Guess so — Mallory Ortberg

If by 'foe' you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose I'd fall into the 'friend' category," I replied cynically. "Although in your case, we may have to find a secret option number three. — M.A. George

He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little while longer. But it better be careful and not interfere with his private life. If it does, he's apt to make a phone call to God and cancel the order. — Raymond Chandler

Just because it looks like a leprechaun and talks like a leprechaun, it doesn't mean it can't act like the little fucking demon it is. — N.L. Gervasio

It's sarcasm, Josh."

"Sarcasm?"

"It's from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren't really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it."

"Well, if the village idiot named it, I'm sure it's a good thing."

"There you go, you got it."

"Got what?"

"Sarcasm."

"No, I meant it."

"Sure you did."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Irony, I think."

"What's the difference?"

"I haven't the slightest idea."

"So you're being ironic now, right?"

"No, I really don't know."

"Maybe you should ask the idiot."

"Now you've got it."

"What?"

"Sarcasm. — Christopher Moore

Run everything on a generator," Haskel said. "Got to keep it a certain temperature for the stuff I carry. Not too cold. Not too hot. There's shit in here, weather got wrong, it'd go off and blow our asses all the way to Mineola. Maybe out in the goddamned Gulf."
"I don't like to travel that far unless I got plane tickets and a steward in my lap," Leonard said.
Haskel cut an eye toward Leonard. "You mean stewardess, don't you?"
"I don't think so," Leonard said, and let Haskel churn that one over. — Joe R. Lansdale

Dana?' [asked Garson].
She nodded to show him she was listening.
'Why does he call you Scully all the time? I mean, you do have a first name.'
'Because he can,' she answered simply, without sarcasm, and didn't bother to explain. Just as it would be hard to explain why Mulder was, without question, the best friend she had. It was more than just being partners, being able to rely on each other when one of them was in danger, or when one of them needed a boost when a case seemed to be going bad; and it was more than simply their contrasting styles, which, perversely to some, complemented each other perfectly.
What it was, she sometimes thought, was an indefinable instinct, a silent signal that let her know that whatever else changed, whatever else happened, Mulder would always be there when he had to be. One way or another. — Charles Grant

Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it. — K. Martin Beckner

Sophie coughed, and Oliver felt his cheeks becoming warm.
"Don't be an ass, Andrew."
"That's a little bit difficult to accomplish, y'know?" Andrew replied. "I mean, if you had been so kind as to paint me with black and white stripes, I would've been a zebra! — Zeinab Alayan

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

1. Do what you say you're gonna do
2. Show up!
3. Give genuine praise whenever you can
4. Never say sorry when you don't mean it
5. Never use sarcasm in email (and use the corny ass emoticons) — Matthew Lasar

Why, you mean you didn't get abducted and dragged across country purely to make us a story for us to chew over endlessly?" asked Pip, tossing his shock of tow-colored hair indignantly. "The nerve! — Mercedes Lackey

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. — Aubrey Plaza

And out floated Eeyore.
"Eeyore!" cried everybody.
Looking very calm, very dignified, with his legs in the air, came Eeyore from beneath the bridge.
"It's Eeyore!" cried Roo, terribly excited.
"Is that so?" said Eeyore, getting caught up by a little eddy, and turning slowly round three times. "I wondered."
"I didn't know you were playing," said Roo.
"I'm not," said Eeyore.
"Eeyore, what are you doing there?" said Rabbit.
"I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak-tree? Wrong. Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time, and he'll always get the answer."
"But, Eeyore," said Pooh in distress, "what can we
I mean, how shall we
do you think if we
"
"Yes," said Eeyore. "One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh. — A.A. Milne

Drift House: Susan's response to Queen Octavia's sarcasm in regards to fading memories ... "But we pass our memories on," she insisted. "I mean, from one generation to the next. Parents teach their children. They write things down, tell them stories
— Dale Peck