Quotes & Sayings About Mathematics Funny

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse. — Dylan Moran

Some people find it comfortable to go through life on their knees, and good luck to them, but I prefer to keep my spine in the position nature intended. — Beryl Bainbridge

A brick can be used to represent the zero probability of this book being any good. — Amy Summers

Beyond happiness or unhappiness, though it is both things, love is intensity; it does not give us eternity but life, that second in which the doors of time and space open just a crack: here is there and now is always. — Octavio Paz

I was brought up on rock-'n'-roll. It was sort of funny because I couldn't get interested in anything else - I tried and tried but I couldn't get into science ... or mathematics, I just cut myself off from anything else there was to get interested in. — Bette Midler

I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and literature for two years. After two years I passed an examination with the result I have a teaching certificate for Latin and Hungarian for the lower classes of the gymnasium, for kids from 10 to 14. I never made use of this teaching certificate. And then I came to philosophy, physics, and mathematics. In fact, I came to mathematics indirectly. I was really more interested in physics and philosophy and thought about those. It is a little shortened but not quite wrong to say: I thought I am not good enough for physics and I am too good for philosophy. Mathematics is in between. — George Polya

It may be appropriate to quote a statement of Poincare, who said (partly in jest no doubt) that there must be something mysterious about the normal law since mathematicians think it is a law of nature whereas physicists are convinced that it is a mathematical theorem. — Mark Kac

a mind capable of forming an argument against God's existence constitutes evidence for his existence. That is, a conscious being with the ability to reason, weigh evidence, and argue logically must come from a source that has at least the same level of cognitive ability. — Nancy Pearcey

Mathematics education is much more complicated than you expected, even though you expected it to be more complicated than you expected. — Edward Griffith Begle

I smiled up at him with a hopeful look. "You could just unlace it now? — Rysa Walker

Instead of building the peace by attacking injustices like starvation, disease, illiteracy, political and economic servitude, we spend a trillion dollars on war since 1946, until hatred and conflict have become the international preoccupation. — Daniel Berrigan

It was the U.S.A., after all, and fear was in the air. — Thomas Pynchon

Not every path in the road needs to be followed. Sometimes it's smarter to quit and go home. — Jennifer Probst

Almost everyone I've ever met who overeats is doing so on behalf of an old self (a discouraged child, an unpopular teenager, a self conscious young adult) who no longer exists. — Deepak Chopra

You can't have a great life unless you move two things: your body AND your mind. Keep them both exercised by taking them places they've never before been. — Toni Sorenson

I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning. — Marc Maron

The apex of mathematical achievement occurs when two or more fields which were thought to be entirely unrelated turn out to be closely intertwined. Mathematicians have never decided whether they should feel excited or upset by such events. — Gian-Carlo Rota

I guess I can put two and two together."
"Sometimes the answer's four," I said, "and sometimes it's twenty-two ... — Dashiell Hammett

We often hear that mathematics consists mainly of 'proving theorems.' Is a writer's job mainly that of 'writing sentences? — Gian-Carlo Rota

Let's go into the sanctuary or the adult Sunday school room, — Carolyn Brown

Two ideas militate against our consciously contributing to a better world. The idea that we can do everything or the conclusion that we can do nothing to make this globe a better place to live are both temptations of the most insidious form. One leads to arrogance; the other to despair. — Joan D. Chittister