Master Disciple Quotes & Sayings

Smartass Disciple: Why men don't ready yet to join the intergalactic confederation?
Master of Stupidity: Men could make them laugh to death. It'd be too risky for them. — Toba Beta

If Jesus had to suffer, why would we think ourselves exempt? After all, as He explained, "a disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master" (Matthew 10:24). — David Jeremiah

Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?
Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow annoying me.
Master of Stupidity: Only as long as you stay tuned for pissed-off channel. — Toba Beta

Zen is to religion what a Japanese "rock garden" is to a garden. Zen knows no god, no afterlife, no good and no evil, as the rock-garden knows no flowers, herbs or shrubs. It has no doctrine or holy writ: its teaching is transmitted mainly in the form of parables as ambiguous as the pebbles in the rock-garden which symbolise now a mountain, now a fleeting tiger. When a disciple asks "What is Zen?", the master's traditional answer is "Three pounds of flax" or "A decaying noodle" or "A toilet stick" or a whack on the pupil's head. — Arthur Koestler

When everything exists within your big mind, all dualistic relationships drop away. There is no distinction between heaven and earth, man and woman, teacher and disciple. Sometimes a man bows to a woman; sometimes a woman bows to a man. Sometimes the disciple bows to the master; sometimes the master bows to the disciple ... In your big mind, everything has the same value. — Shunryu Suzuki

Smartass Disciple: Master, where will you go after your soul leaves your body?
Master of Stupidity: What makes you think a soul will go elsewhere physically? — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, what did you do to earn wisdom ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I forget. Shit happened, life goes on. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, can you trust this bank to keep your money safe?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I can put a bit less distrust on this bank than others. — Toba Beta

The Lord gave the wonderful promise of the free use of His Name with the Father in conjunction with doing His works. The disciple who lives only for Jesus' work and Kingdom, for His will and honor, will be given the power to appropriate the promise. Anyone grasping the promise only when he wants something very special for himself will be disappointed, because he is making Jesus the servant of his own comfort. But whoever wants to pray the effective prayer of faith because he needs it for the work of the Master will learn it, because he has made himself the servant of his Lord's interests. — Andrew Murray

Smartass Disciple: Master, why do some people so stubborn and unruly ?
Master of Stupidity: Only when you want them do according to your wish. — Toba Beta

Nothing avails: every master has but one disciple, and that one becomes unfaithful to him, for he too is destined for mastership. [408] — Friedrich Nietzsche

And he has the teacher's fear of being surpassed by the student, the master's dread of having the disciple discredit his work. (Not that I am in any real sense Nemur's student or disciple as Burt is.) I guess Nemur's fear of being revealed as a man walking on stilts among giants is understandable. — Daniel Keyes

Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to be the better me by forgetting my past.
Master of Stupidity: If you just forget it, how would you measure you're better? — Toba Beta

A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master" (Matthew 10:24). In other words, the same things that happened to our Lord will happen to us on our way to our "Jerusalem." There will be works of God exhibited through us, people will get blessed, and one or two will show gratitude while the rest will show total ingratitude, but nothing must divert us from going "up to [our] Jerusalem. — Oswald Chambers

Smartass Disciple: Does stupidity a sin?
Master of Stupidity: No stupidity, no sin. — Toba Beta

What kind of authority can there be for an 'Apostle' who, unlike the other Apostles, had never been prepared for the Apostolic office in Jesus' own school but had only later dared to claim the Apostolic office on the basis of his own authority? The only question comes to be how the apostle Paul appears in his Epistles to be so indifferent to the historical facts of the life of Jesus ... He bears himself but little like a disciple who has received the doctrines and the principles which he preaches from the Master whose name he bears. — Ferdinand Christian Baur

Said a disciple, 'I don't trade my love for money.'
Said the Master, 'isn't itas bad - or worse - that you trade it for love? — Anthony De Mello

A disciple serves the spiritual master with the sole purpose of getting instructions from him. — A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Smartass Disciple: How the hell do we find the truth ?
Master of Stupidity: Just seek it with hope it'll find you. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to eradicate all corruptions in this world.
Master of Stupidity: Let it be a bit! Otherwise you'll make us jobless for good. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you've told me the whole truth?
Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I'd lose you and my job] — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, please show me the way to the enlightenment.
Master of Stupidity: Walk with me! [but I won't let you try to surpass me]. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, you should teach people not to do war to each other.
Master of Stupidity: I should teach people how to win their minds of their wars. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: My master, please show me how to be a wise man!
Master of Stupidity: I can't. But I can show you how to do something wisely. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, what are you talking about? None of us understand!
Master of Stupidity: Be patient! It is not ended yet. The end justifies the means. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, why God let human did sins in the beginning?
Master of Stupidity: If the saviour must come, why should He prevent that? — Toba Beta

The newly created Darth Vader flexes his Force-muscle as the Emperor's enforcer to maintain order and obedience in a galaxy reeling from civil war and the destruction of the Jedi Order. To the galaxy at large, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker - the Chosen One - died on Coruscant during the siege of the Jedi Temple. And, to some extent, the was true - Anakin was dead. But from the site of Anakin Skywalker's last stand - on the molten surface of the planet Mustafa, where he sought to destroy his friend and former master, Obi-Wan Kanobi - a fearsome spectre in black has risen. Once the most powerful Knight ever known to the Jedi order he is not a disciple of the dark side, a lord of the dreaded Sith, and the avenging right hand of the galaxy's ruthless new Emperor. Seduced, deranged and destroyed by the machinations of the Dark Lord Sidious, Anakin Skywalker is dead ... and Darth Vader lives ... — James Luceno

Smartass Disciple: Master, I feel really really confused about the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Only confused? Walk in my shoes then you tell me. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, where is exactly the edge of this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: Edge is wherever the absence of universal gravity. — Toba Beta

A master bestows the divine experience of cosmic consciousness when his disciple, by meditation, has strengthened his mind to a degree where the vast vistas would not overwhelm him. Mere intellectual willingness or open-mindedness is not enough. Only adequate enlargement of consciousness by yoga practice and devotional bhakti can prepare one to absorb the liberating shock of omnipresence. — Paramahansa Yogananda

I am sure that there are many Christians who will confess that their experience has been very much like my own-that we had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple, as they were of the Master. Such humility is not a thing that will come on its own. It must be made the object of special desire, prayer, faith and practice. — Andy Murray

The seeker says, "I do not know." That takes honesty. The master says, "I do not know." That takes a mystic's mind that knows things through non-knowing. The disciple says, "I know." That takes ignorance, in the form of borrowed knowledge. — Anthony De Mello

A zealous disciple expressed a desire to teach others the Truth and asked the Master what he thought about this. The Master said, "Wait." Each year the disciple would return with the same request and each time the Master would give him the same reply: "Wait." One day he said to the Master, "When will I be ready to teach?" Said the Master, "When your excessive eagerness to teach has left you. — Anthony De Mello

Drop jealousy and love wells up. Jealousy means that I am the owner. It is an ego trip, and wherever there is ego there is poison, and the poison kills the very source of love. One has to become aware of just these few things and discard them and one's life becomes a lotus of love. And then there is no need to go in any search of god, god will come in search of you. This is my observation, that god always comes seeking the true seeker. Whenever the disciple is ready the master appears. — Rajneesh

Smartass Disciple: Master, how do I know that I am not dreaming right now ?
Master of Stupidity: You don't. Only those who see you're dreaming can tell it. — Toba Beta

The Master is nothing but a disciple who would like to help others find their mastery — Ivan Figueroa-Otero

Smartass Disciple: But, you said that it's the truth??
Master of Stupidity: O Yes. That is yesterday's truth. — Toba Beta

Jesus's use of the phrasing "a new commandment" is frequently scanted in light of its implicit ramifications. Because Jesus at the Last Supper has executed the "new covenant" with his disciples, the Great Commandment itself now acquires an unprecedented meaning. Its new meaning belongs to this sudden revelation not merely about who God is but also about what love is. Previously the Great Commandment bade us to love God and our neighbor. Now this love can be comprehended only in an incarnational situation. Its incarnate presence is the activation of profound rhizomic relations that explode from the center toward the ends of the earth. We are commanded to be incarnational in relation to one another just as God at the cross was incarnational in Christ ... We are no longer simply Christ's "followers" - the pre-Easter form of relation to a master-and-teacher that is conventionally called "disciple" - but also perpetual Christ incarnators ... — Carl Raschke

It's hard to swallow when people say, "Oh my God, you're a master of something." I say, "No, I'm actually a student of that. I could turn you on to websites for 25 masters, and you'll quickly see that I am their disciple." — Nick Offerman

A disciple asked, "Who is a Master?" The Master replied, "Anyone to whom it is given to let go of the ego. Such a person's life is then a masterpiece. — Anthony De Mello

A disciple having asked for a definition of charity, the Master said LOVE ONE ANOTHER. — Confucius

Smartass Disciple: Master, you keep preaching the truth. They don't listen.
Master of Stupidity: Oh that's not bad. That attitude keeps us in the business. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Why do arrogant people like to say complex words ?
Master of Stupidity: Ask them straight! You'll get a simple scary version. — Toba Beta

A disciple was one day recalling how Buddha , Jesus , Mohammed were branded as rebels and heretics by their contemporaries. Said the Master, Nobody can be said to have attained the pinnacle of Truth until a thousand sincere people have denounced him for blasphemy . — Anthony De Mello

Smartass Disciple : Master, why you keep telling about the truth? Nobody hears.
Master of Stupidity : O Yea. They hear but don't listen. Anyway, no fun in silent. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, we should not spend our time to low life like them.
Master of Stupidity: If I don't, then how should I lead men like you to be wiser? — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Which one was first created, time or things?
Master of Stupidity: No things, no changes. No changes, no time. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, I believe that the truth will prevail at the end.
Master of Stupidity: No 'the end' for the truth. 'Prevail' is something else. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, if you are so good, can you drive a car with your eyes closed?
Master of Stupidity: Thou shall not break the rules of drive safely.
Thou shall not tempt the police as well. — Toba Beta

What is my identity ?" "Nothing," said the Master. "You mean that I am an emptiness and a void?" said the incredulous disciple. "Nothing that can be labeled." said the Master. — Anthony De Mello

You are the way and you are the goal, and there is no distance between you and the goal. You are the seeker and you are the sought; there is no distance between the seeker and the sought. You are the worshipper and you are the worshipped. You are the disciple and you are the master. You are the means and you are the end: this is the great way. — Osho

Luke tells us that as Jesus was praying in a certain place, when He ceased, one of His disciples said unto Him, "Lord, teach us to pray." This disciple had heard Jesus preach, but did not feel like saying, "Lord, teach us to preach." He could learn to preach by studying the methods of the Master. But there was something about the praying of Jesus that made the disciple feel that he did not know how to pray; that he had never prayed, and that he could not learn by listening even to the Master as He prayed. There is a profound something about prayer which never lies upon the surface. To learn it, one must go to the depths of the soul, and climb to the heights of God. — A.C. Dixon

This is a gathering of Lovers.
In this gathering
there is no high, no low,
no smart, no ignorant,
no special assembly,
no grand discourse,
no proper schooling required.
There is no master,
no disciple. — Rumi

Smartass Disciple: Where were all things before the time began?
Master of Stupidity: What was the time before all things created? — Toba Beta

It's paradoxical that an ordinary man like Nemur presumes to devote himself to making other people geniuses. He would like to be thought of as the discoverer of new laws of learning - the Einstein of psychology. And he has the teacher's fear of being surpassed by the student, the master's dread of having the disciple discredit his work. — Daniel Keyes

And do you know the story about Haydn's head? They cut it away from the still-warm cadaver so some insane scientist could take apart the brain and pinpoint the location of musical genius. And the Einstein Story? He'd carefully written his will with instructions to cremate him. They followed his orders, but his disciple, ever loyal and devoted, refused to live without the master's gaze on him. Before the cremation, he took the eyes of the cadaver and put them in a bottle of alcohol to keep them watching him until the moment he should die himself. That's why I said that the crematory fire is the only way our bodies can escape them. It's the only absolute death. And I don't want any other. Jean-Marc, I want an absolute death. — Milan Kundera

Smartass Disciple: Master, how do you heal the broken heart?
Master of Stupidity: It isn't a disease need to be healed. It's life. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: If you are really a master, then make me see miracles!
Master of Stupidity: Go to sleep and dream, then wake up thirty years later! — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Please teach me about the truth, master.
Master of Stupidity: Hmmm ... tell me about your sexperience! — Toba Beta

A disciple said to him, "I am ready, in the quest for God , to give up anything: wealth, friends, family, country, life itself. What else can a person give up?" The Master calmly replied, "One's beliefs about God. — Anthony De Mello

Guided by His wisdom, strong in His strength, there maybe for you struggle and suffering, the darkness and the storm. "The disciple is not above His Master." There may be weeping that shall endure for a night, but joy shall come in the morning. If the night cometh, so also the morning, "a morning without clouds," the morning of an eternal day. — Mark Hopkins

Smartass Disciple: What were said for things before the time exist?
Master of Stupidity: No words to be said by no man at no time at all. — Toba Beta

The reality is just the opposite: the master does nothing. It is in your becoming a disciple that the whole mystery lies. It is in your surrender of the ego that the whole search comes to an authentic point. It is in putting your mind aside. That is what sannyas is: an authentic discipleship. It means putting your mind aside. You have lived according to your mind up to now. If that is fulfilling, then there is no need for anybody to become a sannyasin. — Rajneesh

Smartass Disciple: Master, I don't need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth.
Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to?
Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, I'm going to change the whole world.
Master of Stupidity: It changes within you. It changes without you. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, what will happen to the men right after their death ?
Master of Stupidity: They live with a same or different part of their consciousness. — Toba Beta

A disciple came to the celebrated Master of the Good Name with a question. "Rabbi, how are we to distinguish between a true master and a fake?" And the master of the good name said, "When you meet a person who poses as a master, ask him a question: whether he knows how to purify your thoughts. If he says that he knows, then he is a fake. — Elie Wiesel

Master: When a human being asks 'WHO AM I?', the honest answer is eternal silence.
Disciple: Do we make noise to feel that silence, Master? — Saurabh Sharma

I was talking to a Zen master the other day and he said, "You shall be my disciple."I looked at him and said, "Who was Buddha's teacher?" He looked at me in a very odd way for a moment and then he burst into laughter and handed me a piece of clover. — Alan Watts

Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you?
Master of Stupidity: I wasn't thinking. I was having sex when it came to my mind. — Toba Beta

Suffering, then, is the badge of true discipleship. The disciple is not above his master. Following Christ means passio passiva, suffering because we have to suffer. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Smartass Disciple: Master, tell me what is it beyond this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: No 'space' in no 'gravity'. No 'thing' in spaceless. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, why should people love each other ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, orgasm is felt better than kill each other. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Master, why there was no second chance in garden of eden?
Master of Stupidity: Of course. Perhaps, human can only enjoy one-time virginity. — Toba Beta

A master who cannot bow to his disciple cannot bow to Buddha. — Shunryu Suzuki

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?
Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept. — Toba Beta

Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn't judge others?
Master of Stupidity: Don't! Unless you are paid for it. — Toba Beta

I have been my own disciple and my own master. And I have been a good disciple but a bad master. — Antonio Porchia

There were many words piled up inside my chest, stories waiting to be told. I wanted to hand all this knowledge to one other person, neither a master nor a disciple. I sought an equal - a companion. — Elif Shafak

Devotion has its own strange ways. It is not something rational, logical, something that can be explained to you. But it is something, if you go on growing from a student into a disciple, from a disciple into a devotee, and you come so close to the master that there is no distinction at all. — Rajneesh

A true master will not deceive an able disciple. You are hampered by the limits you set and no limit can be set on skill. — Wayne Gerard Trotman

A disciple once complained, "You tell us stories, but you never reveal their meaning to us." The master replied, "How would you like it if someone offered you fruit and then chewed it up for you before giving it to you?" If your heart is straight with God, then every creature will be to you a mirror of life and a book of holy doctrine. — Thomas A Kempis

Smartass Disciple: I've been searching for so long.I still can't find the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Until you've lost and felt desperate, you won't be found. — Toba Beta

A disciple, in his reverence for the Master, looked upon him as God incarnate. "Tell me, O Master," he said, "why you have come into this world." "To teach fools like you to stop wasting their time worshiping Masters. — Anthony De Mello

Smartass Disciple: Three years! I've listened you preaching just for this silly truth?
Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth? — Toba Beta

Every master has but one disciple, and that one becomes unfaithful to him, for he too is destined for master-ship. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Smartass Disciple: Master, what do say about the truth itself ?
Master of Stupidity: Like sex, no fun anymore if all is revealed. — Toba Beta

A Master who cannot bow to a disciple cannot bow to Buddha. — Shunryu Suzuki

Smartass Disciple: Master, why heaven is up there and hell is down there ?
Master of Stupidity: If otherwise, it wouldn't be celebrated as ascension day. — Toba Beta