Mark Twain Cats Quotes & Sayings

I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't. — Mark Twain

In Honolulu, I saw cats, individual cats, groups of cats, platoons of cats, companies of cats, regiments of cats, armies of cats, multitudes of cats, millions of cats, and all of them sleek, fat, lazy and sound asleep. — Mark Twain

While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. — Mark Twain

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat. — Mark Twain

Say - what is dead cats good for, Huck?" "Good for? Cure warts with. — Mark Twain

Some people scorn a cat and think it not an essential; but the Clemens tribe are not of these. — Mark Twain

Then the cow asked:
"What is a mirror?"
"It is a hole in the wall," said the cat. "You look in it, and there you see the picture, and it is so dainty and charming and ethereal and inspiring in its unimaginable beauty that your head turns round and round, and you almost swoon with ecstasy. — Mark Twain

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does
but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use. — Mark Twain

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. — Mark Twain

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them. — Mark Twain

Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use. — Will Advise

A home without a cat - and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat - may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? — Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. — Mark Twain

If man could be crossed with a cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat. — Mark Twain

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful. — Mark Twain

If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you can't learn any other way.
Mark Twain — Tony-Paul De Vissage

Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild — Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction. — Mark Twain