Love Farts Quotes & Sayings

You shut the door, you tell the boss exactly what you think. But when the door opens, the job of the vice president is to stand right next to the president and implement the policy that he's decided. And I'm prepared to do that. — Mike Pence

After fifteen years of making my living in stand-up, The Sarah Silverman Program has been a lesson in collaboration. Rob, Dan, and I live by the mantra "Whoever is most passionate." If I was mentoring someone, that's the Shandling-esque advice I would proffer: Find people you really respect and trust, and then at each decision, heed the most passionate voice. I love that because it eliminates nearly all struggle. And when you're doing a show that's mostly about farts, penises, and vaginas, there should be as little struggle as possible. — Sarah Silverman

Boundaries and risk management are very important parts of living a healthy and positive life. — Bryant McGill

My Lord told me a joke. And seeing Him laugh has done more for me than any scripture I will ever read. — Meister Eckhart

For a few seconds, I want to know what it's like not to settle or dream, but to live. To be the girl who's cared for, to be the girl who's cherished, to be the girl who's kissed. — Katie McGarry

It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. — Mike Birbiglia

I am extremely passionate about digital media and as a longtime user and fan of Yahoo! — Ross Levinsohn

WHEN AUGUSTUS CAME OUT on the porch the blue pigs were eating a rattlesnake - not a very big one. It had probably just been crawling around looking for shade when it ran into the pigs. They were having a fine tug-of-war with it, and its rattling days were over. — Larry McMurtry

You don't make art, you find it — Pablo Picasso

That's what most people don't realize; that's why one out of every two marriages fail. Because people go into them with hearts in their eyes and forever on their lips and no concept whatsoever of what that truly means. Of course it's going to be hard work. Of course you are going to get angry and upset and wonder why, out of everyone in the world entire world, you decided to fall in love with an idiot who farts in his sleep and eats like a pig and can't ever be assed to pick up his own dirty underwear off the fucking floor. — Lielabell

The son of the victim, you know, has been virtually forgotten until recently. — Patty Hearst

We have branded Jesus beyond recognition. Church has become a business. Jesus is our marketing scheme. We create bookstores, T-shirts, bracelets, bumper stickers, and board games all in the name of Jesus. — Jefferson Bethke

No amount of activity in the King's service will make up for neglect of the King Himself. — Robert E. Murray

To know that we are only angels weighed down by filth, free of guilt? The bacteria in our bellies are responsible for the farts which shame us, tiny monsters shitting in their billions all over our pure skin create the acid reek of "our" sweat. And Slade: when the "inner voices" tell us we're unworthy or instruct us to "love" and "hate," despite our best instincts ... are these incessant distracting thoughts our own? Or do we only hear the voice of the eternal germ screaming in our heads? — Grant Morrison

A fart in the face is love. — James Kidd

Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. — J.R.R. Tolkien

I know that when ye think o' love you're supposed to think o' kissy faces and scented soap and hummin' happy songs together, but there's another vital part to it that people rarely admit to themselves: We want somebody to rescue us from other people. From talking to them, I mean, or from the burden of giving a damn about what they say. We don't want to be polite and stifle our farts, now, do we? We want to let 'em rip and we want to be with someone who won't care if we do, who will love us regardless and fart right back besides. — Kevin Hearne

I love baseball. I'll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and drive from game to game all day. — Steve Earle

What can I do with these people? They come to the risk so dutifully. Are delighted by anecdotes that give them Poetry. Are grateful to be told of diagonals that give them Painting. Good people. But stubborn when warned the beast is not domestic. How can I persuade them that the dark, soulful Keats was five feet one? Liked fighting and bear-baiting? I can't explain the red hair. Nor say how you died so full of lust for Fanny Brawne. I will tell them of Semele. — Jack Gilbert

I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-"
"Did you find that in the medicine cabinet?" Dylan asked.
"Yeah."
"It's for upset stomachs," Dylan said, trying to hide a smile. He pointed to the words on the box. "It's to reduce gas in you digestive system, not to create more gas to make explosions."
Gazzy's face fell as Iggy said, "Really? Gazzy, take it! Take the whole box! — James Patterson

Loved me. How over the top and dramatic can one person get? I mean, hell. Lust at seventeen, sure. Sex buddies at eighteen, shit yeah. But love? Love doesn't enter anyone's life until you turn forty-two, add fifty pounds to your body, and start complaining about the younger generations. Once someone can put up with your forty-two-year-old annoying ass and nasty farts, you know that's real love. — Brittainy C. Cherry