Lightbulb Joke Quotes & Sayings

When I was a kid, I never saw a puppet show. I never played with puppets or had any interest in them. — Jim Henson

Every man must have freedom, must have the scope to form, test, and act upon his own choices, for any sort of development of his own personality to take place. He must, in short, be free in order that he may be fully human. — Murray Rothbard

Of all fragrances, the sweetest is that of virtue. — Isabel Allende

So few people realize that preparedness never leads to peace, but that it is indeed the road to universal slaughter. — Emma Goldman

It is my firm faith that man is by nature going higher. — Mahatma Gandhi

I've just confirmed every bad joke ever told about second violin players. Question: How many second violinists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: They can't go that high. Gerda — Tess Gerritsen

How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway. — Garrison Keillor

No one can defeat destiny,
But everyone can make peace with it.
At the same length:
No one can outsmart destiny,
But everyone can reason with it. — Stephan Attia

How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's a hardware problem. — Laura Griffin

You and everyone else on the planet," I said. "Nobody actually knows, and they won't tell us, so everybody sits around guessing and theorizing, and it's all kind of pointless. Maybe they're spacefaring micemen from Planet Cheese and they've come for our provolone. — Rick Yancey

It was not a purer realm that loomed vastly over the city. Smokestacks punctured the membrane between the land and the air and disgorged tons of poisonous smog into that upper world as if out of spite. In a thicker, stinking haze just above the rooftops, the detritus from a million low chimneys eddied together. Crematoria vented into the airborne ashes of wills burnt by jealous executors, which mixed with coaldust burnt to keep dying lovers warm. Thousands of sordid smoke-ghosts wrapped New Crobuzon in a stench that suffocated like guilt. — China Mieville

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one. — Evan Esar

Horsemeat in many European and Asian countries is consumed as a delicacy. — Elton Gallegly

A lifetime of hurt in one act of vengeance. — Jodi Picoult

Great men suffer hours of depression through introspection and self-doubt. That is why they are great. That is why you will find modesty and humility the characteristics of such men. — Bruce Barton

My mother is from Paris, so she was quite a fashion plate. I always had that French influence at home. — Nicole Miller