Lemony Snicket Best Quotes & Sayings

It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas. — Lemony Snicket

We'll see what you find out," Stew said. "You'll find out what it feels like to be thrown from a speeding train to the rocky bottom of a drained sea. Except you won't really find out, because you'll be dead. Get it? What I mean is, it'll kill you when I throw you from this train so you'll be in no state to find out what it feels like. Get it? Due to your death by falling from a train. — Lemony Snicket

All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found — Lemony Snicket

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding. — Lemony Snicket

I write storys to entertain not to be the best — Lemony Snicket

There are many expressions to describe someone who is going about something in the wrong way. "Making a mistake" is one way to describe this situation. "Screwing up" is another, although it is a bit rude, and "Attempting to rescue Lemony Snicket by writing letters to a congressman, instead of digging an escape tunnel" is a third way, although it is a bit too specific. — Lemony Snicket

It's cold outside, Mr. Snicket.'
'So I'll shiver,' I said. 'I've shivered before.'
She looked down at the table and traced her father's name with her black fingernail. 'So have I,' she said. — Lemony Snicket

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing. — Lemony Snicket

Hoping for the best, like hoping for a bat to obey your orders, almost always leads to disappointment. — Lemony Snicket

After they had been reunited with their baby sister and learned the secret of Verbal Fridge Dialogue. And — Lemony Snicket

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. — Lemony Snicket

When the bald associate had mentioned a sleeping beauty, he was referring to a fairy tale that you have probably heard one thousand times. Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with 'Once upon a time,' and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase 'happily ever after.' The story is usually illustrated with fancy drawings of the napping princess, who always looks very glamorous and elegant, with her hair neatly combed and a long silk gown keeping her comfortable as she snores away for years and years. — Lemony Snicket

The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end. — Lemony Snicket

It is always interesting to observe what people are wearing in the middle of the night, although there are more pleasant ways to make such observations without being accused of murder. — Lemony Snicket

uppity children, — Lemony Snicket

I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. — Lemony Snicket

It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought, sooner or later becomes an adult. — Lemony Snicket

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. — Lemony Snicket

I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky. — Lemony Snicket

It is always tedious when someone tells you that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much. — Lemony Snicket

[I]t was the color of someone buying you an ice cream cone for no reason at all. — Lemony Snicket

The expression 'quiet as mice' is a puzzling one, because mice can often be very noisy, so people who are being quite as mice may in fact be squeaking and scrambling around. The expression 'quiet as mimes' is more appropriate, because mimes are people who perform theatrical routines without making a sound. Mimes are annoying and embarrassing, but they are much quieter than mice, so 'quiet as mimes' is a more proper way to describe how Violet and Sunny got up from their bunk, tiptoed across the dormitory, and walked out into the night. — Lemony Snicket

Gregor was involved with something called Volatile Fungus Deportation. — Lemony Snicket

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things — Lemony Snicket

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. — Lemony Snicket

There was a philosopher who said that all of life is just shadows. He said that people were just sitting in a cave, watching shadows on the cave wall. Aye - shadows of something much bigger and grander than themselves. — Lemony Snicket

Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black. — Lemony Snicket

Yes,' she said, in a faraway voice, 'he was my husband, but he was much more than that. He was my best friend, my partner in grammar, and the only person I knew who could whistle with crackers in his mouth. — Lemony Snicket

Even the best plans can change if there's an accident. — Lemony Snicket

In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business. — Lemony Snicket

When one's stomach is as fluttery as all that, it is nice to take a short break to lie down and perhaps sip a fizzy beverage, but there was no time for such things. — Lemony Snicket

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily. — Lemony Snicket

It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety. — Lemony Snicket

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope. — Lemony Snicket

If you wish to avoid an unpleasant story you had best put this book down — Lemony Snicket

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too. — Lemony Snicket

In the 1970s and 1980s there was so little decent fiction for young people, but we're now in a golden age that shows no sign of fading. Philip Pullman, J. K. Rowling, Lemony Snicket are only three of the best known among a good number of equals. — David Mitchell

But the siblings could scarcely remember when they had been able to relax and do the things they liked to do best. It seemed ages since Violet had been able to sit around and think of inventions, instead of frantically building something to get them out of trouble. Klaus could barely remember the last book he had read for his own enjoyment, instead of as research to defeat one of Olaf's schemes. And Sunny had used her teeth many, many times to escape from difficult situations, but it had been quite a while since she had bitten something recreationally. — Lemony Snicket

Sometimes, even the best of plans will occur to you when it is too late. — Lemony Snicket

There are some who say that sitting at home reading is the equivalent of travel, because the experiences described in the book are more or less the same as the experiences one might have on a voyages, and there are those who say that there is no substitute for venturing out into the world. My own opinion is that it is best to travel extensively but to read the entire time, hardly glancing up to look out of the window of the airplane, train, or hired camel. — Lemony Snicket

Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely. — Lemony Snicket

Nobody wants to hear that you will try your best. It is the wrong thing to say. It is like saying 'I probably won't hit you with a shovel.' Suddenly everyone is afraid you will do the opposite. — Lemony Snicket

In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around. — Lemony Snicket

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said. — Lemony Snicket

If you try to avoid every instance of peer pressure you will end up without any peers whatsoever, and the trick is to succumb to enough pressure that you do not drive your peers away, but not so much that you end up in a situation in which you are dead or otherwise uncomfortable. This is a difficult trick, and most people never master it, and end up dead or uncomfortable at least once during their lives. — Lemony Snicket

E!" Klaus cried. "E as in Exit!" The Baudelaires ran down E as in Exit, but when they reached the last
cabinet, the row was becoming F as in Falling File Cabinets, G as in Go the Other Way! and H as in How
in the World Are We Going to Escape? — Lemony Snicket

Well, Nero," Genghis said, "I just wanted to give you this rose-a small gift of congratulations for the wonderful concert you gave us last night!"
"Oh, thank you," Nero said, taking the rose out of Genghis's hand and giving it a good smell. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?"
"You were perfection!" Genghis said. "The first time you played your sonata, I was deeply moved. The second time, I had tears in my eyes. The third time, I was sobbing. The fourth time, I had an uncontrollable emotional attack. The fifth time-" The Baudelaires did not hear about the fifth time because Nero's door swung shut behind them. — Lemony Snicket

The expression 'a bold from the blue' describes something so surprising that i makes you head spin, your legs wobble, and your body buzz with astonishment - as if a bold of lightening suddenly came down from a clear blue sky and struck you at full force. Unless you are a lightbulb, an electrical appliance, or a tree that is tired of standing upright, encountering a bold from the blue is not a pleasant experience. — Lemony Snicket

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see. — Lemony Snicket

The Hemlock Tearoom and Stationery — Lemony Snicket

The three of us stood there for a minute. I don't know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabinet wasn't thinking anything. But I was thinking, is this the world? Is this really the place in which you've ended up, Snicket? It was a question that struck me, as it might strike you, when something ridiculous was going on, or something sad. I wondered if this was really where I should be, or if there was another world someplace, less ridiculous and less sad. But I never knew the answer to the question. Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would see another world when I died, which I was in no hurry to do. In the meantime, I was stuck in the police station, doing something so ridiculous it felt sad, and feeling so sad it was ridiculous. The world of the police station, the world of Stain'd-by-the-Sea and all of the wrong questions I was asking, was was the only world I could see. — Lemony Snicket

You're noble enough, Baudelaires. That's all we can ask for in this world. — Lemony Snicket

The only thing worse than a perilous adventure is a boring one. — Lemony Snicket

You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That's why the dark is always close by. — Lemony Snicket

Is the elevator out of order?" Violet asked. "I'm very good with mechanical devices, and I'd be happy to take a look at it."
"That's a very kind and unusual offer," the doorman said. — Lemony Snicket

Some of the simplest things in like are the most difficult to imagine. — Lemony Snicket

With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer. — Lemony Snicket

I can see the headline now: 'murderer attempts to murder murderer. — Lemony Snicket

Don't talk, Snicket," Theodora said. "Fools talk while wise people listen, so listen up and I'll tell you how we will solve this case sensibly and properly. — Lemony Snicket

Whether you have been sent to see the principle of your school for throwing wet paper towels at the ceiling to see if they stick or taken to the dentist to plead with him to hollow out one of your teeth so you can smuggle a single page of your latest book past the guards at the airport, it is never a pleasant feeling to stand outside the door of an office ... — Lemony Snicket

You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two. — Lemony Snicket

Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune. — Lemony Snicket

Morning is one of the best times for thinking. When one has just woken up, but hasn't yet gotten out of bed, it is a perfect time to look up at the ceiling, consider one's life, and wonder what the future will hold. — Lemony Snicket

This feeling is not unlike the sinking in one's stomach when one is in an elevator that suddenly goes down, or when you are snug in your bed and your closet door suddenly creaks open to reveal the person who has been hiding there. — Lemony Snicket

They're book addicts. — Lemony Snicket

Sunny did not eat the wood, of course, but she chewed on it and pretended it was a carrot, or an apple, or a beef and cheese enchilada, all of which she loved. — Lemony Snicket

Ellington Feint was a line in my mind running right down the middle of my life, separating the formal training of my childhood and the territory of the rest of my days. She was an axis, and at that moment and for many moments afterward, my entire world revolved around her. — Lemony Snicket

This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there's always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed. — Lemony Snicket

Klaus had not told his siblings about the book, because he didn't want to give them false hope. — Lemony Snicket

The phrase 'for naught' is simply a fancy way of saying 'for nothing,' and it doesn't matter which phrase you use, for they are both equally difficult to admit. — Lemony Snicket

The whole thing is like a jigsaw puzzle, but there are too many missing pieces to solve it. — Lemony Snicket

Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough. — Lemony Snicket

Meeting, but first they must travel in a rattletrap submarine to the Gorgonian Grotto, a dangerous underwater cave, in search of the sugar bowl. ISBN 0-06-441014-5 - ISBN 0-06-029642-9 (lib. — Lemony Snicket

When i first read the book it was sooo amazing soo i decide to read the whole series but when i got up to no.2 books it got sad i was abite crying at the end but you should read the book it soo amazing — Lemony Snicket