Lawson Quotes & Sayings

I have learned that every person in the world is on the spectrum of mental illness. Many people barely register on the scale, while others have far more than they could be expected to handle. — Jenny Lawson

I'd just run into my gynecologist at Starbucks and she totally looked right past me like she didn't even know me. And so I stood there wondering whether that's something she does on purpose to make her clients feel less uncomfortable, or whether she just genuinely didn't recognize me without my vagina. Either way, it's very disconcerting when people who've been inside your vagina don't acknowledge your existence. Also, I just want to clarify that I don't mean "without my vagina" like I didn't have it with me at the time. — Jenny Lawson

If we want revivals, we must revive our reverence for the Word of God. If we want conversions, we must put more of God's Word into our sermons.8 His gospel preaching was grounded — Steven J. Lawson

As local priests came to dine at the Walsh manor, Tyndale witnessed firsthand the appalling biblical ignorance of the Roman church. During one meal, he found himself in a heated debate with a Catholic clergyman. The priest asserted, "We had better be without God's law than the pope's."15 Tyndale boldly responded, "I defy the pope and all his laws." He then added that "if God spared him life, ere many years he would cause a boy that drives the plough to know more of the Scripture than he does."16 — Steven J. Lawson

If you punish the banks, all you are doing is reducing the banks' capital, which you want to increase, and punishing shareholders, who have done nothing wrong. — Nigel Lawson

They may use my body but my mind is free. In my mind I escape. — Gladys Lawson

Office tends to confer a dreadful plausibility on even the most negligible of those who hold it. — Mark Lawson

You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be. — Nigella Lawson

I don't believe in low-fat cooking. — Nigella Lawson

For unbelievers, at the final judgment, there will not be one drop of mercy, only perfect justice-so much sin, so much wrath. — Steven J. Lawson

Prime Minister Cameron says he wants to be the greenest government ever, but the definition of green is immature ... I don't deny for a moment that CO2 is a greenhouse gas, but there are so many other factors that affect climate. It is more complicated than the computer models that we are using. What the truth is, nobody knows. — Nigel Lawson

We find ourselves unable to do anything but cling to the couch and force ourselves to breathe. — Jenny Lawson

Dear Victor: Wow. That ... really got out of hand. I'm sending this cat in as a peace offering. I forgive you for all the stuff you wrote on the walls about my sister, and I'm going to just ignore all the stuff you wrote about my "giant ass" (turn cat over for rest) because I love you and you need me. Who else loves you enough to send you notes written on cats? Nobody, that's who. Also, I stapled a picture of us from our wedding day to the cat's left leg. Don't we look happy? We can be that way again. Just stop leaving wet towels on the floor. That's all I ask. I'm low-maintenance that way. Also, this cat needs to go on a diet. I shouldn't be able to write this much on a cat and still have room left over. — Jenny Lawson

Salvation is not a reward for the righteous, it is a gift for the guilty. — Steven J. Lawson

This'll be a hootload of fun," coming from a taxidermist's assistant translates to: "This will cost thousands in psychoanalysis and will probably ruin your dress. — Jenny Lawson

Your opinions are valid and important. Unless it's some stupid bullshit you're being shitty about, in which case you can just go fuck yourself. I — Jenny Lawson

I didn't get raped, right?" and he shouted, "You were never in danger of getting raped," but I think he just said that to hurt my feelings, and so I retorted, "Oh, I am ALWAYS in danger of being raped, thankyouverymuch," and he was all, "I'm not questioning your rapability. I'M JUST SAYING I CAN'T GO AWAY FOR TWO DAYS WITHOUT YOU OD'ING ON LAXATIVES. — Jenny Lawson

The fields are fair in autumn yet, and the sun's still shining there, but we bow our heads and we brood and fret, because of the masks we wear, Or we nod and smile the social while, and we say we're doing well, But we break our herts! For the things we must not tell. — Henry Lawson

I AM GOING TO BE FURIOUSLY HAPPY, OUT OF SHEER SPITE. — Jenny Lawson

Usually your kids' positive qualities come less from your making them awesome and more from just not intentionally squashing the random things they're inherently born with that make them awesome. — Jenny Lawson

Horace's eyes get wide, and he glances between me and the house. "Every time I think I got a grip on this crazy shit going on in your head, I realize I don't know the half of it, do I?"
My eyes tracing the red trim of the house, I shake my head. "Not even close. — Erica Cameron

Miracles of grace must be the seals of our ministry; who can bestow them but the Spirit of God? Convert a soul without the Spirit of God! Why, you cannot even make a fly, much less create a new heart and a right spirit."48 — Steven J. Lawson

No one goes to heaven by parroting a prayer, being baptized, or joining a church, but by believing in Jesus Christ with humble submission. — Steven J. Lawson

The extent of the atonement is defined by the intent of the atonement. — Steve Lawson

New truth is old heresy. — Steven J. Lawson

I lurch from chaos to chaos. I can't find my driving licence and my clothes are everywhere - cooking is the neatest thing I do. — Nigella Lawson

The Bible is shallow enough for a new believer to wade in, but deep enough for a theologian to drown in. — Steven J. Lawson

Rape is a vicious thing.It's not gentle or considerate.To the recipient it's violent & painful. — Gladys Lawson

The thing with One Direction songs is that you can probably break them all down to an acoustic guitar and vocal. — Jamie Lawson

There is such freedom in being able to celebrate and appreciate the unique moments that recharge you and give you peace and joy. — Jenny Lawson

I worked in a record store, but I realised I didn't want that. I still wanted to pursue a career - or a life - that my songs provided for me. — Jamie Lawson

I met someone special today," I told her. "His name is Lawson Gale." She wagged her tail at me. "I dunno, Rosie, but if there's any such thing as perfect for me, he just might be it. — N.R. Walker

Thanks, Ms Wilding.'

She raised one eyebrow. 'Who?'

'You must be Tom's daughter, the photographer. You look like him. A prettier version, sexy, even.' His laugh was a smoky rumble as he spun on his heel.

'Don't presume to know anything about me, Mr Lawson.'

He hefted his pack and strode away, power in the length of stride. — Helene Young

The best games are the ones that thrill the audience while the players thrill themselves. — Will Lawson

They may have all had suitcases three times as big as mine, but I realized that the emotional baggage I'd brought with me was big enough to put theirs to shame. It was a little lighter, though, now that I was leaving. — Jenny Lawson

It is desperately essential in this hour that preachers recover a soaring vision of the supremacy of God. Life-changing, history-altering preaching will come only when pastors reclaim a high view of God's blazing holiness and are overshadowed by His absolute sovereignty. Towering thoughts of God's transcendent glory must captivate preachers' souls. — Steven J. Lawson

Is "defeatedly" a word? As in, "She sighed defeatedly as spell-check implied that 'defeatedly' isn't a real word. — Jenny Lawson

I'm not sure I have the words to describe that moment but if there's a word that means the exact opposite of "ladylike", that would be a good start. — Jenny Lawson

Jesus gave me this book when he was done with it, saying, "You have got to read this shit, Kevin. It's fucking fantastic." Jesus is terrible with names. - ERNEST HEMINGWAY — Jenny Lawson

It is quite clear that history will record that Margaret Thatcher was the greatest Prime Minister this country has had since Churchill. — Nigel Lawson

Plus, I won't have to feel bad for eating too many egg rolls because if I suddenly get skinny that's going to be hard to explain. — Jenny Lawson

Family, it seemed, was not always a matter of who one was born to or even who one's parents were. A person's *family*, Tabitha realized, was the thing that held them up, so that life could still be illuminated in the darkest of times. A family member could be a mouse. A family member could be an Inspector that nobody would ever meet outside that pages of a novel. Depending on the circumstance, a family member might even be discovered in a person you just met. — Jessica Lawson

Is it normal to regret not making a sex tape back when you were younger and your boobs still pointed vaguely at the ceiling when you were lying on your back? Because I feel like no one ever talks about that. — Jenny Lawson

My old e-mail addresses are like bars I've been kicked out of and can never return to. — Jenny Lawson

Most people don't have poisonous tap water in their house. — Jenny Lawson

Apparently my subconscious freaked out when I saw blood on the vet's coat and then I abruptly passed out right on my cat. (That's not a euphemism.) — Jenny Lawson

Also, why did Mary Poppins even need such a huge bag if it's magically designed to fit everything? Seriously. I'm guessing that Mary asked for a magic pocket and the wizards were like, "What, like a dude? Nah. I don't think so, lady. You'll get a purse." Those guys were motherfuckers. — Jenny Lawson

It is the same with revolution; so long as the proper spirit is spreading amongst our young men, we are satisfied that it spreads without bombast or parade. — Henry Lawson

People who have fabulous childhoods have this sense that nothing is ever going to be that good again. With me, I have the sense that nothing is going to be that bad. — Nigella Lawson

It is impossible to outplay an opponent you can't outthink. — Lawson Little

When we see celebrities who fall victim to depression's lies we think to ourselves, "How in the world could they have killed themselves? They had everything." But they didn't. They didn't have a cure for an illness that convinced them they were better off dead. — Jenny Lawson

My motto has always been "Time enjoyed is never wasted." Except replace "enjoyed" with "drunk" and "never wasted" with "never not a good idea. — Jenny Lawson

And then, once you've written, you meet producers and directors and actors. You get to meet interesting, talented, creative, artistic people, and it also staves off a bit of creative stagnation when you can't act, which is the reality of the industry. So often, you can't act because there are just too many cars and not enough car parks. But, I love writing and I'll never stop doing that. — Josh Lawson

You should hate me," she said brokenly. "You should leave me - "
"Hush." His grip tightened, just short of bruising her. "Do you think so little of me? Damn you." He crushed his lips in her hair. "You don't understand anything about me. Did you think I wouldn't want to help you? That I would abandon you if I knew?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Damn you," he repeated, his voice choked with anger and love. He forced her face upward. The hopelessness in her eyes caused a cold pressure to squeeze around his heart. — Lisa Kleypas

Sometimes we're made from the stuff that we want to do but don't actually follow through on. Like when someone is an asshole and you want to burn down their garage, but then you don't because it's illegal and also because you can't find the matches. I'm made from a lot of unfulfilled arson. And un-jumped-on koala piles. — Jenny Lawson

Weirdly also listening to a lot of Aphex Twin again, I loved Syro. — Ralph Lawson

By my tenth glass of wine I started to wonder whether there was something wrong with my palate. Everyone else was marking the wine list with notes like "Pleasant finish. Robust spices." Meanwhile, I was doodling pictures of vampiric cougars. Then I noticed people staring at my doodles, and so I started writing notes next to the wine. Things like "Tastes of NyQuil, but in a good way," and "This one will get you all the way fucked up." "I can't feel my feet anymore." "Did I leave the garage door open? I wonder whether the cat is on fire. I should probably stop drinking now." Everyone else there had a sophisticated palate. I had one that needed therapy, and possibly an intervention. — Jenny Lawson

You never think to appreciate your arms until you need them to stop the floor from punching you in the face. — Jenny Lawson

Sometimes stunned silence is better than applause. — Jenny Lawson

Romans gave Luther his theology, but it was the Psalms that gave him his thunder. — Steven J. Lawson

The high ground of Christ & Him crucified must be claimed in our preaching. Any other footing is a slippery slope that inevitably descends downward into vain rhetoric and mere words. To the contrary, every pulpit must present a towering vision of the unique person and saving work of Jesus Christ. All preaching must point to His sin-bearing, substitutionary death for sinners. All exposition must lift up this Sacrificial Lamb who became a sin-bearing Substitute for all who believe. Every message must exalt this Christ, who was raised from the dead, exalted to the right hand of God the Father, and entrusted with all authority in heaven and earth. — Steven J. Lawson

I don't wear anything in bed. But I'm not ready for a nude scene quite yet. — Nigella Lawson

There is a kind of euphoria of grief, a degree of madness. — Nigella Lawson

What I want you to know: Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. Clinical depression is no fucking picnic. — Jenny Lawson

The successful conduct of economic policy is possible only if there is - and is seen to be - full agreement between the Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer. — Nigel Lawson

It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my grandmothers. I think you have to be incredibly sane and self-aware to function in relatively insane environments. — Jenny Lawson

One ox, two oxen. One fox, two foxen. — Jenny Lawson

Then one night we used the baby's head as a bong. (I'm pretty sure that's the only time that sentence has ever been used in a memoir. One would hope. I'd check it out on the Internet, but to be honest; that whole horse-enema-fetish stuff scared the shit out of me, so I'm not even going to look.) — Jenny Lawson

I am so lazy. I really don't have a regimen. When I was younger I used to be into cardio and taebo and step-orobics and hiking. Lately, I haven't done anything at all. I'd like to get into yoga, but I've been really bad. — Bianca Lawson

I've tried many torturous techniques to make my outsides fit the ridiculous standards society has set but it never ends well because my body lives in reality and it's a reality that has too much cheese in it. — Jenny Lawson

Arthur found himself staring down at the knife embedded in his foot. There was a surreal split second before the blood started to well up and then up it came, dark and thick as syrup.
Arthur looked at Jake and saw that he was staring at the knife. His expression was one of surprise, and this was something that Arthur wondered about later too. Was Jake surprised because he had never considered the possibility that he might be a less than perfect shot? Did he have that much confidence in himself, that little self-doubt?
Or was he merely surprised at how easy it was to give in to an impulse, and carry through the thought which lay in your mind? Simply to do whatever you wanted to do, and damn the consequences. — Mary Lawson

No matter how shitty it got, I could always look back and say, "At least I don't have my arm stuck up a cow's vagina." In fact, that's kind of become my life's motto. It's also what I say when I'm at a loss for words when talking to people who are grieving the loss of their grandparents. — Jenny Lawson

Perfect days are just the world setting you up to rip you down. — Sue Lawson

The greatest work God ever performs was not the creation of the universe out of nothing, but is the new creation of saints out of sinners. — Steven J. Lawson

Skype is a wonderful invention. It might be my favorite thing because I get to see my family and the ones that you love. — Jamie Lawson

Souls must be converted here, and if there be not many born to Christ, may the Lord grant to me that I may sleep in the tomb and be heard of no more. Better indeed for us to die than to live, if souls be not saved. — Steven J. Lawson

You know when you're walking to the trash can at the zoo and you're holding something important in one hand, and you have something you have to throw away in the other hand, and you're sort of distracted because you just realized the universal truth that everything in the world either is or isn't pandas and you're trying to decide if that's an important epiphany or not and it's so distracting that it's not until you're halfway back to the lemur house that you realize you're still holding the garbage in your hand and that you seem to have thrown your car keys in the trash? — Jenny Lawson

Last year CNN brought me on live TV to discuss a proposal to create "kid-free planes," and I explained if we were really going to start segregating passengers I'd prefer to ride in an "a-hole-free plane" because babies almost never ask you to join the Mile-High Club, or clip their toenails while in flight, or do any of a plethora of horrible things I've witnessed from others. — Jenny Lawson

I have to say to the Government that you are not even getting nowhere fast - you are getting nowhere slowly. — Nigel Lawson

There is no power in the world like that of women ... this most potent constituency we seek to represent, and for their suffrages we sue. — Louisa Lawson

The NHS is the closest thing the English have to a religion. — Nigel Lawson

Do you think now and then, now or then, in the whirl
Of the city, while London is new,
Of the hut in the Bush, and the freckled-faced girl
Who is eating her heart out for you? — Henry Lawson

That's the moment I realized how incredibly lucky I am to have spent eighteen years with a man who can laugh at bad gun-control jokes whole a severed bear head is lying on his pillow. — Jenny Lawson

Your Pants Are Bragging at Me — Jenny Lawson

In fact I am quite snappy and irritable, and I don't know if I'd like to make myself worse in that respect. — Nigella Lawson

We will never know how great God's love is until we first see how great our sin is. — Steven J. Lawson

In Europe, where climate change absolutism is at its strongest, the quasi-religion of greenery in general and the climate change issue in particular have filled the vacuum of organised religion, with reasoned questioning of its mantras regarded as a form of blasphemy. — Nigel Lawson

Hi," he says simply.
I laugh. "Hi."
He looks around the room nervously before his eyes fall back to mine. "Is that good enough?" he asks.
I cock my head, because I don't really understand his question. "Is what good enough?"
He grins. "I was hoping that was enough talk for tonight."
Oh.
I get his question now. — Colleen Hoover

The Inhabitants of Carolina, thro' the Richness of the Soil, live an easy and pleasant Life. — John Lawson

I am furiously happy. It's not a cure for mental illness ... it's a weapon, designed to counter it. It's a way to take back some of the joy that's robbed from you when you're crazy. — Jenny Lawson

I wish someone had told me this simple but confusing truth: Even when everything's going your way you can still be sad. Or anxious. Or uncomfortably numb. Because you can't always control your brain or your emotions even when things are perfect. — Jenny Lawson

Better to have small faith in a great God than to have great faith in a small god. — Steven J. Lawson

Don't you think it's funny that the presidents are still expected to build libraries when hardly anyone reads books? I read a study that said less than ten percent of adults read a book in the past year. — Dustin Lawson

You are worthy, important, and necessary. And smart. You may ask how I know and I'll tell you how. It's because right now? YOU'RE READING. That's what the sexy people do. Other, less awesome people might currently be in their front yards chasing down and punching squirrels, but not you. You're quietly curled up with a book designed to make you a better, happier, more introspective person. — Jenny Lawson

At some stages of your life you will deal with things and at others you are overwhelmed with misery and anxiety. — Nigella Lawson

Australia is filled with roundabouts and everyone drives on the wrong side of the road. In the end we decided to split up the work and I feverishly watched the GPS and yelled, Left! Right! ROUNDABOUT! — Jenny Lawson

Don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides. — Jenny Lawson

Be as visibly fucked up as you want to be because being unique is already taken — Jenny Lawson

Their way of Dancing, is nothing but a sort of stamping Motion, much like the treading upon Founders Bellows. — John Lawson

To preach the gospel is to proclaim with trumpet tongue and flaming zeal the unsearchable riches of Christ Jesus, so that men may hear, and understanding, may turn to God with full purpose of heart.30 — Steven J. Lawson