Lacour Quotes & Sayings

I'm sorry I left without telling you," she says. "I wasn't ready. I wanted it so much, and I wasn't ready for that. — Nina LaCour

It's about what I know is true. Because I'm looking at this bright red storm of color on a canvas, at all my delicate lines and passionate brushstrokes. I'm looking at something so urgent and true, so far beyond what I thought I was capable of making. — Nina LaCour

my life is just waiting for you to get started. — Nina LaCour

All the things we could be doing now if she weren't busy wondering if the world holds better things for her than me. — Nina LaCour

I was okay just a moment ago. I will learn how to be okay again. — Nina LaCour

The sun stopped shining for me is all. The whole story is: I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can't get away from it. Not ever. — Nina LaCour

If things happen for a reason, I was meant to get fucked over. — Nina LaCour

What I'm trying to say is that I just want to know you. You don't have to be at your best. We can't all be at our best all the time. But, I just want to know you. — Nina LaCour

Dignity is overrated. You know what trumps dignity? Kissing. — Nina LaCour

Is it possible to get over a voice like this? Someday, I'd like to be able to hear her speak a sentence on the phone with out it making me want to hang up, get in my car, and drive as many miles as it takes to kiss her. — Nina LaCour

Dylan, in her skintight black jeans, safety-pinned shirt, and bulky armbands, with her hair sticking out in every direction and that black freshly smeared around her eyes, doesn't just smile, doesn't just walk toward Maddy and put her arms around her. No. Instead, every muscle in her whole body seems to lose all tension, her step forward resembles a skip, and she lets out a hey that might as well say, I love you, you are so beautiful, no one in the world is as amazing as you are. — Nina LaCour

It sucks to lose your best friend, even if only to distance. Even when it isn't really losing her at all. — Nina LaCour

Whatever I decide, I might be making a mistake. But if I'm going to make a mistake I want it to be passionate — Nina LaCour

You might be looking for reasons but there are no reasons. — Nina LaCour

That's what friends do: they notice things. They're there for each other. They see what parents don't. — Nina LaCour

I leaned over the sink, closer to my reflection, and stare at myself hard. I don't know what I see. I don't even know what I want to see. — Nina LaCour

When you live in LA and work in the movies, you experience the collapse of some of that fantasy. You know that the eyes glow like that because of lights placed at a specific angle, and you see the actresses up close and, yes, they are beautiful, but they are human size and imperfect like the rest of us. — Nina LaCour

And then we get new homes that we make for ourselves. — Nina LaCour

There are so many things that I want so badly to tell you but I just can't. — Nina LaCour

Empathy is wonderful, but you can still overdose on it if you try too much to fast. — Nina LaCour

The words make sense, but deeper than the words is the truth. She's right. If Mabel's talking about the girl who hugged her good-bye before she left for Los Angeles, who laced fingers with her at the last bonfire of the summer and accepted shells from almost-strangers, who analyzed novels for fun and lives with her grandfather in a pink, rent-controlled house in the Sunset that often smelled like cake and was often filled with elderly, gambling men - if she's talking about that girl, then yes, I dissapeared. — Nina LaCour

What I mean is don't be a person who seeks out grief. There is enough of that in life. — Nina LaCour

I was so blinded by her talent that I didn't recognize the tremendous pain behind her work. She gave me hundreds of images, so many chances to see that she was in trouble. I failed her. — Nina LaCour

Would you really fight for him?" I nod.
But the nod isn't enough, so I go on.
"In fact, I would tear through rubble with my bare hands to get to him. I would lift cars. I would wrestle down anyone who said we shouldn't be together. I would stare down life and kick it in the ass if I had to. Because if you want to know the truth
if you really want to know the truth
none of that could be nearly as hard as being in love with him and not being able to tell anyone about it. Including him. I have this thing inside me, and it's angry and it's scared and it's uncertain and most of all it's so completely in love with him, and it would do anything to keep him, even if it means things staying the way they are now. — Nina LaCour

I want to confess. I thought that her story was comprised of scenes. I thought the tragedy could be glamorous and her grief could be undone by a sunnier future. I thought we could pinpoint dramatic events on a time line and call it a life.
But I was wrong. — Nina LaCour

There are still Ava Maddoxes to find and sets to create and girls to kiss and colleges to attend. It's possible that someday I will hear a patsy Cline song and the heartbreak will barely register. It will be some distant, buried feeling. I won't remember how much it once hurt. — Nina LaCour

The ocean is far below us, but the waves crash so loudly, sound close enough to drown us. — Nina LaCour

Even if I couldn't get into the dark places in her head, I would at least be there waiting on the outside. — Nina LaCour

I sleep through the next day. Each time I go to the bathroom, I try not to look in the mirror. Once, I catch my reflection: it looks like I've been punched in both eyes.
I can't talk about the day that follows that. — Nina LaCour

YOu just think that things will stay the way they are. You never look up, in a moment that feels like every other moment of your life, and think, "Soon this will be over". — Nina LaCour

He is Romeo, and he is heartbroken. Every word is wistful. When he says, 'O, teach me how I should forget to think!' I, for the first time, see what the big deal is about Shakespeare. — Nina LaCour

How does your life move forward, when all you want to do is hold still. — Nina LaCour

Here it is, all at once: rightness.
Not the graffiti itself, even though it's undeniably spectacular, but this feeling of making plans and carrying them them through, of meeting people and getting to know them, of being asked to do something and saying Yes, of wanting something, asking for it, making it happen. — Nina LaCour

Yearning is a red-haired girl sitting on the hood of her silver sedan, reading about Marilyn Monroe. A cherry orchard at night, houselights in the distance. It's the painstaking neatness of a paint-by-number sunset, a yellowed letter held between graceful fingers, a cautious step into the sun-filled lobby of a famous hotel.
It's the way I feel every time I think about Ava. — Nina LaCour

I wonder if we will become okay again. I hope for it. — Nina LaCour

It's a dark place, not knowing.
It's difficult to surrender to.
But I guess it's where we live most of the time. I guess it's where we all live, so maybe it doesn't have to be so lonely. Maybe I can settle into it, cozy up to it, make a home inside uncertainty. — Nina LaCour

We love films because they makes us feel something. They speak to our desires, which are never small. They allow us to escape and to dream and to gaze into the eyes that are impossibly beautiful and huge. They fill us with longing. But also. they tell us to remember; they remind us of life. Remember, they say, how much it hurts to have your heart broken. — Nina LaCour

I don't know if any of this would have happened if we had been at home ... Would we have crammed ourselves into the bathroom of a San Francisco restaurant to play her song? I doubt it. There's something about distance, being removed from what's familiar, that let's things happen. — Nina LaCour

But it feels different because wanting someone is not the same as loving her, and now I understand that Morgan does not love me. — Nina LaCour

I don't want to hurt you or anybody s just please forget about e. Just try. Find yourself a better friend.I never laughed as hard as I laughed with you but now not even the laughing feels good. — Nina LaCour

I've been waiting for this for so long
something new, life after high school. — Nina LaCour

People take one another for granted — Nina LaCour

I'll make a swing so I can reach the places I can't reach yet. — Nina LaCour

I always knew what I wanted to do, I just didn't know I could do it. — Nina LaCour

There are no scenes in life, there are only minutes. — Nina LaCour

Maybe it doesn't matter, maybe if we all force ourselves to act like we're okay even if we're not, eventually things will get better. — Nina LaCour

I could say the night felt magical, but that would be embellishment.
That would be romanticization.
What it actually felt like was life. — Nina LaCour

There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever. — Nina LaCour

She was never something waiting to be solved. All she is - all she's ever been - is a person trying to live a life. — Nina LaCour

This is what I want so don't be sad. — Nina LaCour

When you really want to find someone, it isn't that hard. I should have known all along that she wasn't looking. I feel so stupid.
There's nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. — Nina LaCour

There is an indescribable feeling that comes from being desperately in love with a song. — Nina LaCour

You can let them wreck you and allow the wrecking to feel good. — Nina LaCour

She leans over our table and turns the sign in the window so that it says CLOSED on the outside. But on our side, perfectly positioned between Mabel's place and mine, it says OPEN. If this were a short story, it would mean something. — Nina LaCour

In just a little while we will forget all the things we used to want and adjust to the lives that we're given. — Nina LaCour

We were nostalgic for a time that wasn't yet over. — Nina LaCour

As much as people want to look on the bright side, skip straight to the future when everything will be okay, the truth is that there is this time, where you sometimes have trouble breathing, and you feel powerless. Like you're screaming and no one hears you, and the myth of the happy future is nothing you can count on, and the only word that makes sense is escape. — Nina LaCour

I can't muster a smile. Even with the knowledge that it's dark outside and light up here, it's hard to believe that he can see us. We should be invisible. We are so alone. Mabel and I are standing side by side, but we can't even see each other. In the distance are the lights of town. People must be finishing their workdays, picking up their kids, figuring out dinner. They're talking to one another in easy voices about things of great significance and things that don't mean much. The distance between us and all of that living feels insurmountable. — Nina LaCour

We were miraculous.
We were beach creatures.
We had treasures in our pockets and each other on our skin. — Nina LaCour

I know," I say. "It sucks. Let's go get tacos and sit on the beach. — Nina LaCour

I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend. — Nina LaCour

A terrible day," Frank echoes.
"Yes," Edie says, her gaze never leaving Ava's face. "But look. You grew up anyway. — Nina LaCour

I think that sometimes people want something so much that they manifest it. Or at least they try to. — Nina LaCour

I wish I knew why she never told me any of this. Maybe she thought I wouldn't be able to handle it, that I was too sheltered or too innocent or something. If she had told me why she cut herself all the time, or that it was the pills that made her act so spaced out, or that she was even on pills, or even saw doctors, or any of it, I would have done my best to help her. I'm not saying I'm a superhero. I'm not saying I would have just swooped down and saved her. I'm just saying the only reason everything was a waste was that she made it a waste. That whole time, back when I was just a normal kid in high school, living out my normal life, I really thought everything mattered. — Nina LaCour

It's the opposite of the collapse of the fantasy.
It's what happens when the illusion pales in comparison to the truth. I'm seeing her for the first time. Not Ava Garden Wilder, the rags-to-riches granddaughter of Clyde Jones. Not a tragic, romantic heroine.
Just Ava.
And I am utterly in love. — Nina LaCour

No one talked about the way the summer was supposed to unfold or the places we'd find ourselves in the fall. — Nina LaCour

How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head. — Nina LaCour

My mom says Ingrid's name and I start to hum, not the melody to a song, just one drawn-out note. I know it makes me seem crazy, I know it won't make anything change, but it's better than crying, it's better than screaming, it's better than listening to what they're telling me. — Nina LaCour

All through my chest and my stomach is this regret over what I'm doing to Dylan, in my hands and my feet is this electricity at the thought of Taylor leaning close to me, and all over my whole body, way, deep inside it, is this hurting over Ingrid. I could scream at the top of my lungs and the sound I would make wouldn't be half as loud as I'd need it to be. — Nina LaCour

It's an ache. A heavy sadness. The kind that is brought on by heartbreak and then perpetuated by everything that reminds you of the way it's broken. The kind that feels impossible to shrug off or tuck away. But there is another feeling, too, surfacing, and soon I discover that it's the kind that makes the heartbreak almost something to savor because it is so simple and true. — Nina LaCour

And I think of how time passes so differently for different people. — Nina LaCour

And I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time. I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal. I just really need that from you. — Nina LaCour

Sometimes inspiration strikes; other times you have to hunt it down. — Nina LaCour

There's nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. Believe me. — Nina LaCour

I am a girl ready to explode into nothing. — Nina LaCour

And then she is kissing me, right here on the sidewalk on a foggy summer night. Violet is kissing me, and everything is perfect. The kiss doesn't end. We are not two girls on a polite first date, bestowing a customary good-night peck.
No.
We are kissing like girls who have ached for each other for years who never even spoke but somehow exchanged I love yous anyway. — Nina LaCour

I thought that it was more likely the opposite. I must have shut grief out. Found it in books. Cried over fiction instead of the truth. The truth was unconfined, unadorned. There was no poetic language to it, no yellow butterflies, no epic floods. There wasn't a town trapped underwater or generations of men with the same name destined to make the same mistakes. The truth was vast enough to drown in. — Nina LaCour

Ingrid's skin was the smoothest texture, so pale that it was transparent. I could see the blue veins that ran down her arms, and they made her seem fragile somehow. the way Eric Daniels, my first boyfriend, seemed fragile when I laid my head on his chest and heart his heart beating and thought, Oh. People don't always remember about the blood and the heartbeat. But whenever I looked at Ingrid, I was reminded of the things that kept her alive. — Nina LaCour

I kept wondering then - I'm still wondering now - if there was a time when she realizes that something was going wrong. Inside her, I mean. when she could feel herself slipping away, something new creeping in. If she could have stopped it, or if it just... happened. — Nina LaCour

Each time a breeze starts, I feel the air all the way through me. — Nina LaCour

Fame by association is the emptiest kind. — Nina LaCour

This was me before I knew about anything hard, when my whole life was packed lunches and art projects and spelling quizzes. — Nina LaCour

You're never going to be ready"..."Don't you see that? You have to forget about ready. If you don't, you're always going to run away — Nina LaCour

They say that's what happens when you fall in love. You want to tell people things. You especially want to tell them sad things. Hidden sad things from the past. Something like: I was abandoned at a sweetshop in an unspecified European country. — Nina LaCour

We all want to be feel something, we want to be someone to one another. — Nina LaCour

That girl she was trying to reach- she must have been running from something. She must have been someone special, for her friend to keep trying so hard. Too bad she was gone now. — Nina LaCour

We love films because they make us feel something. They speak to our desires, which are never small. They allow us to escape and to dream and to gaze into eyes that are impossibly beautiful and huge. They fill us with longing. But also. They tell us to remember; they remind us of life. Remember, they say, how much it hurts to have your heart broken. Remember about death and suffering and the complexities of living. Remember what it is like to love someone. Remember how it is to be loved. Remember what you feel in this moment. Remember this. Remember this. — Nina LaCour

I could keep going forever, listing all my flaws in order from the most innocuous to the least. I am afraid of spiders ... I fall in love too easily ... I have fierce spells of self-doubt. — Nina LaCour

No," I say. "I didn't know that," and as I say it I feel flooded with bitterness at all the things Ingrid kept secret from me. — Nina LaCour

My room is so quiet and empty it hurts. — Nina LaCour

Maybe there is no right thing to say. Maybe the right thing is just a myth, not really out there at all. — Nina LaCour

And we step off the curb, all of us together, as if to say: Here we come. Through hard days and good ones, through despair and through exhilaration, in love and out of love, for just now or for forever. Here we come. It's our parade. — Nina LaCour

I am nowhere close to finished but I'm the kind of busy that feels eternal, the kind where you can't say I'll be done in a few hours because the truth is you will never, ever, be done. — Nina LaCour

It's incredible," she says, "how much damage everyone does to everybody else. — Nina LaCour

Blue and pink made mud, made dirt, made rock
I am mud, I am dirt, I am rock
I am nature, a force of nature
I am the color that remains
when everything else is washed away — Nina LaCour

I can't think of enough expletives to perfectly capture this moment. — Nina LaCour

Friendship is about more than facts. It's about knowing what someone is thinking, or knowing enough to know that you don't. But I guess it's also about not letting too much time go by without asking them questions, so you don't end up looking at them one afternoon, the sun so bright you have to squint, realizing that you hardly recognize the person they've become. — Nina LaCour

When I think of all of us then, I see how we were in danger. Not because of the drinking or the sex or the hour of the night. But because we were so innocent and we didn't even know it. There's no way of getting it back. The confidence. The easy laughter. The sensation of having left home only for a little while. Of having a home to return to. We — Nina LaCour

They weren't cheap and I was almost broke. It was a choice between dinner and flowers and I chose flowers because it was a dark time in my life and my room was hideous and my heart was broken and I needed something beautiful. — Nina LaCour

All I have is a life's worth of school days. What came before school I can't remember. You can only sketch so many desks and teachers and chalkboards. You can only come home to so many dinners and homework assignments and nights of taking the garbage out. You can only go to so many museum field trips before you start to wonder, Is this it? — Nina LaCour