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Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes & Sayings

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Top Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

... lovemaking, if sincere, is one of the best ideas Satan put in the apple she gave to the serpent to give to Eve. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

A pissant does his best to make you feel like a boob all the time. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

People took such awful chances with chemicals and their bodies because they wanted the quality of their lives to improve. They lived in ugly places where there were only ugly things to do. They didn't own doodley-squat, so they couldn't improve their surroundings. so they did their best to make their insides beautiful instead. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I say she was strong. We all say she was strong. Yes, and in this bicentennial springtime we can say that she was like a legendary pioneer woman in her seeming strengths. We know now that she was only pretending to be strong - which is the best any of us can do. Of course, if you can pretend to be strong all your life, which is what Lavina did, then you can be very comforting to those around you. You can allow them to be childlike now and then. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

You can't fight progress. The best you can do is ignore it, until it finally takes your livelihood and self-respect away. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

There is another human defect which the Law of Natural Selection has yet to remedy: When people of today have full bellies, they are exactly like their ancestors of a million years ago: very slow to acknowledge any awful troubles they may be in. Then is when they forget to keep a sharp lookout for sharks and whales. This was a particularly tragic flaw a million years ago, since the people who were best informed about the state of the planet, like *Andrew MacIntosh, for example, and rich and powerful enough to slow down all the waste and destruction going on, were by definition well fed. So everything was always just fine as far as they were concerned. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I have had some experiences with love, or think I have, anyway, although the ones I have liked best could easily be described as "common decency." I treated somebody well for a little while, or maybe even for a tremendously long time, and that person treated me well in turn. Love need not have had anything to do with it. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

The very best thing you can be in life is a teacher, provided you are crazy in love with what you teach, and that your classes consist of eighteen students or fewer. Classes of eighteen students or fewer are a family, and feel and act like one. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

In short, on the basis of horse sense and the best scientific information, there was nothing good to be said for the exploration of space. The time was long past when one nation could seem more glorious than another by hurling some heavy object into nothingness. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

This image of his remained in the forefront of my memory so long, I think, because life itself can seem a lot like that: a matter of holding one's self-respect together, instead of a horse, as one's self-respect is expected to hurdle fences and hedges and water. My dear thirteen-year-old daughter Lily, having become a pretty adolescent, appears to me, as do most American adolescents, to be holding her self-respect together the best she can in a really scary steeplechase. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Sentences spoken by writers, unless they have been written out first, rarely say what writers wish to say. Writers are unlucky speakers, by and large, which accounts for their being in a profession which encourages them to stay at their desk for years, if necessary, pondering what to say next and how best to say it. Interviewers propose to speed up this process
by trepanning writers, so to speak, and fishing around in their brains for unused ideas which otherwise might never get out of there. Not a single idea has ever been discovered by means of this brutal method
and still the trepanning of authors goes on every day.
I now refuse all those who wish to take the top off my skull yet again. The only way to get anything out of a writer's brains is to leave him or her alone until he or she is damn well ready to write it down. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I found me a place where I can do good without doing any harm, and I can see I'm doing good, and them I'm doing good for know I'm doing it, and they love me, Unk, as best they can. I found me a home. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I here violate direct and explicit orders that were given to me, were given to me in the best interests of the United States of America. I here give you my true name, and I identify myself as the man you knew as "Frank Wirtanen." ... I exist. I can be seen, heard, and touched almost any day. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I will say, too, that lovemaking, if sincere, is one of the best ideas Satan put in the apple she gave to the serpent to give to Eve. The best idea in that apple, though, is making jazz. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Bertrand Russell declared that, in case he met God, he would say to Him, "Sir, you did not give us enough information." I would add to that, "All the same, Sir, I'm not persuaded that we did the best we could with the information we had. Toward the end there, anyway, we had tons of information. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I am an atheist (or at best a Unitarian who winds up in church quite a lot). — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

He tried. That's the big thing. He tried to do the best he could with what God gave him. He should get a nice raise for trying so hard. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I concluded that the best thing for me and for those around me was to want nothing, to be enthusiastic about nothing, to be as unmotivated as possible, in fact, so that I would never again hurt anyone. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

I shot her because she had just killed my best friend and my worst enemy with a single hand -grenade.
This episode made me sorry to be alive , made me envy stones.
I would rather have been a stone at the service of the Natural Order — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

It was all here for me, just as it has all been here for you, the best and the worst of Western Civilization, if you cared to pay attention: music, finance, government, architecture, law and sculpture and painting, history and medicine and athletics and every sort of science, and books, books, books, and teachers and role models.
People so smart you can't believe it, and people so dumb you can't believe it. People so nice you can't believe it, and people so mean you can't believe it. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

A pissant is somebody who thinks he's so damn smart, he can never keep his mouth shut. No matter what anybody says, he's got to argue with it. You say you like something, and, by God, he'll tell you why you're wrong to like it. A pissant does his best to make you feel like a boob all the time. No matter what you say, he knows better. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

This is the best of times and the worst of times. So what else is new? The bad news is that the Martians have landed in Manhattan, and have checked in at the Waldorf-Astoria. The good news is that they only eat homeless people of all colors, and they pee gasoline. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Maybe I did hurt him, but I don't think I could have hurt him much. He was one of the best-protected human beings who ever lives. People couldn't get at him because he just wasn't interested in people. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Unfortunately, that still leaves plenty of Americans who don't read much or think much
who will still be extremely useful in unjust wars. We are sick about that. We did the best we could. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Best thunderclap came from Spengler, to the effect that science is either true or false, art is either shallow or deep. Second best came from some Supreme Court Justice, Jackson, I think, to the effect that one man's right to swing his fists stops where another man's nose begins. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

If you ever have to give a speech, start with a joke, if you know one. For years I've been looking for the best joke in the world. I think I know what it is. I will tell it to you, but you have to help me. You have to say, "No," when I hold up my hand like this. All right? Don't let me down.
Do you know why cream is so much more expensive than milk?
AUDIENCE: No.
It is because the cows hate to squat on those bottles. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I had come suddenly to pity them, for I understood how innocent and natural it was for them to behave abominably, and with such abominable results. They were doing their best to live like people invented in story books. This was the reason Americans shot each other so often: It was a convenient literary device for ending short stories and books. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Hello, out there, Heinz, in case you read this.
I was really very fond of you, to the extend that I am capable of being fond of anybody.
Give the Blarney Stone a kiss for me.
What were you doing in Hitler's bunker - looking for your motorcycle and your best friend? — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

I think big business is a terrible thing for the spirit of the country, as our spirit is the best thing about us. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

As a trafficker in climaxes and thrills and characterization and wonderful dialogue and suspense and confrontations, I had outlined the Dresden story many times. The best outline I ever made, or anyway the prettiest one, was on the back of a roll of wallpaper. I used my daughter's crayons, a different color for each main character. One end of the wallpaper was the beginning of the story, and the other end was the end, — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

We Humanists behave as well as we can, without any expectation of rewards or punishments in an Afterlife. We serve as best we can the only abstraction with which we have any real familiarity, which is our community. — Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut Best Quotes By Kurt Vonnegut

Do I resent rich people? No. The best or worst I can do is notice them. I agree with the great Socialist writer George Orwell, who felt that rich people were poor people with money. — Kurt Vonnegut