Konrath Quotes & Sayings

People are bound to recognize the name Quasimodo." "Why is that?" "Because he rings a bell. — J.A. Konrath

Eliminate multitasking to learn faster and think better. — Jill Konrath

Lately, my sexual fantasies revolved around once again having a landlord. Looks, age, and hygiene didn't matter, as long as he had a tool belt and said, Don't worry, I'll fix it. — J.A. Konrath

Some people are born with a fire inside them. The will to succeed. It isn't a learned behavior. It's just some unknown biological factor that makes them try harder. — J.A. Konrath

My grandchildren will be making money from the stories I write and sell as eBooks because they will continue to be making money. — J.A. Konrath

I know dozens of authors who have had a lot of books published by New York, and they won't ever take another Big 6 contract since they've gotten a taste of the freedom, control, and money self-publishing offers. — J.A. Konrath

You can't be both happy and ambitious. — J.A. Konrath

My next course of action was to take my phone off the hook, because I kept getting obnoxious messages along the lines of, "Where's that kidney?" and "You have to get to the hospital immediately!" and "He's dead. — J.A. Konrath

schoolchildren. Plus he has erectile dysfunction. — J.A. Konrath

Writers are essential. Readers are essential. Publishers are not. — J.A. Konrath

Don't prioritize the mundane. — J.A. Konrath

I rubbed my eyes, getting some eyeliner on my fingers. For what I paid for eyeliner, it shouldn't come off that easily. — J.A. Konrath

So they profiled the Gingerbread Man with a curved spine." "It's just a hunch," I said. — J.A. Konrath

Back in August, I wrote a post about the supposed race to the bottom with ebooks, refuting some nonsense written by an establishment bonehead.
This meme won't die. People are still convinced that new ebooks are going to be priced at ten cents, and writers will starve, and this will cause a second Great Depression where banks will close and people will be forced to buy Kindles with food stamps, and then the earth will enter another ice age where all the bunnies will freeze to death. — J.A. Konrath

I just try to write entertaining books that are easily identifiable. — J.A. Konrath

Mothers shouldn't be allowed to get old and fragile. — J.A. Konrath

A company doesn't have to compete with Amazon. A company can instead innovate in sectors Amazon doesn't presently care about. — J.A. Konrath

I'm often asked which of the Jack Daniels books is my personal favorite. It — J.A. Konrath

E-books are preferable to paper; they can be delivered instantly. In many cases, they're cheaper; you can buy them with the press of a button. — J.A. Konrath

I think guns are just a symbolic substitute for male genitalia, and I'm okay in that respect." "Fine. If they get in the house, you can whack them with your genitals. — J.A. Konrath

I've been saying for years that readers want inexpensive ebooks. — J.A. Konrath

Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters. — J.A. Konrath

You can't let the uncertainty of tomorrow interfere with the joy of today, — J.A. Konrath

Besides, if a guy couldn't accept the way a woman looked when she woke up, he wasn't worth waking up next to. Not — J.A. Konrath

I know a place that serves great falafel." "Falafel?" "No, I don't feel awful." Herb grinned. "I feel pretty good. — J.A. Konrath

While the first few explosions might be written off as coincidence, or even bad luck, somewhere around the tenth destroyed vehicle a little light came on inside my head. I finally understood that no one could be this unlucky. There was only one possible explanation. You're sick in the head. The psychiatric community calls your specific mental illness Munchausen's by Proxy. A parent, usually the mother, purposely makes her children sick so she can bask in the attention and sympathy of others. — J.A. Konrath

Blake Crouch, Chicago's deputy chief, and says, "I don't know." Crouch resembles a mole, with a long, sharp nose and tiny black eyes. — J.A. Konrath

People who focus on 'getting better' goals (also known as Personal Bests) as opposed to performance goals have a much better chance of success. — Jill Konrath

You have to drop your sales mentality and start working with your prospects as if they've already hired you. — Jill Konrath

Time is the ultimate long tail. Even with a big wad of money up front, if something sells forever, the back end is what ultimately counts. — J.A. Konrath

We worship Satan and only eat GMO foods. All hail Monsanto! — Jon Konrath

It's easier to release an ebook than a print book. — J.A. Konrath

I got lucky because I never gave up the search. Are you quitting too soon? Or are you willing to pursue luck with a vengeance? — Jill Konrath

Paul Wilson) The Serial Series (with J.A. Konrath and Jack Kilborn) "Serial" (short story) "Bad Girl" (short story) Serial Uncut (novella) Killers (novella) Birds of Prey Killers Uncut Serial Killers Uncut (double novel) — Blake Crouch

I try not to watch the news. Too depressing. — J.A. Konrath

There's a word for an author who doesn't give up ... published. — J.A. Konrath

The publishing industry is an archaic and inefficient industry. — J.A. Konrath

Because we self-published 'Draculas,' we control the rights. Not just for now, but forever. — J.A. Konrath

But after eating his one-thousandth sinner, Bob became prideful of his accomplishments, and that angered God."
"Why would that anger God?"
"This was the Old Testament. God got pissed off a lot. Didn't you ever read Job? — J.A. Konrath

You're the total of all the choices you've made in your life, Jack. This is what you have because this is what you chose. — J.A. Konrath

That's why I refused. But after the media — J.A. Konrath

The business model - where books can be returned, and where a 50% sell-through is considered acceptable - is archaic and wasteful. Writers get small royalties, little say in how their books are marketed and sold, and simple things like cover and title approval are unheard of unless you're a huge bestseller. — J.A. Konrath

What happens to rage deferred? It explodes. It explodes in spectacular fashion. — J.A. Konrath

I became a control freak as a defense mechanism. The more control I had in my life, the less chance of being surprised, of getting hurt. — J.A. Konrath

Chico was a small-time hustler and big-time loser who liked to bet the ponies and hit women. He was more successful at the latter. — J.A. Konrath

Sellers who've embraced social media are creating new opportunities that totally bypass traditional sales channels ... It's about good selling - using all the tools that are available to you today. — Jill Konrath

Success means nothing unless you have someone to share it with. — J.A. Konrath

If they lived through this, she promised to herself she'd be different. More open. Less worried. More fun. Less angry. More loving. — J.A. Konrath

Authors need to decide if they want to keep forever to themselves, or share forever with a publisher who takes over half the cover price. — J.A. Konrath

Sales is an experiment - there's no right or wrong, just varying degrees of effectiveness. Our job is to constantly seek ways we can increase our effectiveness. — Jill Konrath

The white dress, made of billowy fabric like a cargo parachute, made her look like the female Boss Hogg trying out for a part in a community theater presentation of Brigadoon. — Jon Konrath

We don't know the Devil's side of the story, because God wrote all the books. — J.A. Konrath

I have turned off Google Alerts and don't Google my name or my pen names. I don't go on message boards. I don't read my book reviews. — J.A. Konrath

Frank," Andy said slowly, "I don't think the hellspawn wants to play checkers with you. — J.A. Konrath

Fuck, can you give me a ride to Office Depot when I'm done with these dildos? — Jon Konrath

I wish I was like that. More carefree."
"Anyone can be. People aren't carved out of marble. We're all works in progress. The trick is to define ourselves, rather than let outside influences define us. — J.A. Konrath

If you ever want to get laid again, you'll promise me." Andy felt himself tear up. "Okay. — J.A. Konrath

Together, Amazon and I are giving readers what they want - inexpensive, professional ebooks. — J.A. Konrath

We all need to focus on our writing. Because the millions of readers out there don't care about your blog. — J.A. Konrath

When you live in extreme pain, sometimes you need even more pain to feel alive. — Jon Konrath

Vicky cost the taxpayers sixty-five million dollars, and she couldn't predict the time an hour from now. I — J.A. Konrath

Life isn't worth living unless you have someone to share it with, Jacqueline. The good times, and the bad times. In sickness and in health. Even toward the end, she could still make my heart flutter when I looked at her. — J.A. Konrath

I doubt I'll ever have another traditional print deal. — J.A. Konrath

Publishers vet books, and they do a good job keeping out the low quality. But they also miss some good quality. — J.A. Konrath

Why didn't vandals ever quote Shakespeare? I'd love to see graffiti in iambic pentameter. — J.A. Konrath

Never having something is different than having something and losing it. — J.A. Konrath

You act like you have a saggy diaper that leaks." "Maybe you need to take your Shut-The-Hell-Up pill. — J.A. Konrath

Writers aren't in competition with one another. It isn't a zero sum game. If you have a good book, a good cover, a good product description, and a low price, you can sell well. — J.A. Konrath

She nodded, taking his pistol and showing him the button to release the empty clip.
"Where did you learn how to shoot?" he asked.
"I teach high school. — J.A. Konrath

I picked up a transsexual hooker named Thor, all six feet of her, at the off ramp to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, as I was driving up north to kill a man. — J.A. Konrath

I can't do it, if I finish that, I'll have to attach a seat belt to the toilet.
Maybe an airbag too. — J.A. Konrath

If you're having trouble, it's because you just don't know how - yet! — Jill Konrath

I took a moment before saying, "You think the murderer is a Brazilian samba trio." Dailey held up his right hand and ticked off fingers. "They're organized. Focused. Motivated. And are in excellent physical condition, by the looks of the pictures on their CD. — J.A. Konrath

I was overworked, underpaid, and socially retarded. But — J.A. Konrath

Men got all the comfortable clothing trends. — J.A. Konrath

There's one." Roy reached over and pounded Bert in the leg. "Slug bug black, no hit backs." "Where?" "Right there." "That's a BMW." Bert smacked Roy twice. "Wrong car, double hit backs." "Can you guys quit this, please?" Tom looked ahead in the distance. "Oh God, no." "Here it is." The cabbie pointed to his right. "Largest Volkswagen dealership in Los Angeles." It was ugly. Real ugly. When — J.A. Konrath

You remember what you told me, Mom? That there are no medals for the completion of a good life? I've been thinking about that. About how no one wins. Like you said, it's impossible to win, because the finish line is death. — J.A. Konrath

After 20 years, a million written words, and nine rejected novels, I finally landed a book contract. — J.A. Konrath

One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit. — J.A. Konrath

Sorry to hear about your Dad."
He shrugged. "He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him."
"Heart attack?"
"He was hit by a Pizza Express truck. — J.A. Konrath

Ha-shem to do His dirty work, namely, punishing sin. It can be read that Mastema, not Adonai, — J.A. Konrath

But Thor and I weren't going to happen, ever. I didn't tell her this. I might be a killer, but I'm not mean. — J.A. Konrath

I enjoy writing. Publishing ... not so much. I've been lucky to work with some very talented people in the publishing world, and the print industry has allowed me to write full time. — J.A. Konrath

They say practice mindfulness, practice meditation, practice kindness, practice breathing. I found no answers and wanted to practice driving a tank through a department store. — Jon Konrath

been following turned his black Cadillac — J.A. Konrath

College kids today are about 40 percent lower in empathy than their counterparts of twenty or thirty years ago," Konrath reports. — Kevin Dutton

My Kindle readers have been incredibly faithful fans. — J.A. Konrath

I've got issues?" "You've got a whole subscription. — J.A. Konrath

If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose. — J.A. Konrath

People, even crazy, evil people, tended to believe they have a good reason for doing what they do. Though some consider religion the opiate of the masses, others use it to further their obsessions, or rationalize their crimes. — J.A. Konrath

author of more than — J.A. Konrath

All you need to know about plotting is twofold. 1. Give your characters goals. 2. Don't let them reach those goals. — J.A. Konrath

You're sick in the head. — J.A. Konrath

If it takes every cent of my money, every single one of my vast resources, I'll see to it that you never insure another vehicle again. When I get done with you, you won't be able to put on roller skates without the Feds breathing down your neck. — J.A. Konrath

If you can't be smart or funny, be brief. — J.A. Konrath

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. — Jill Konrath

I don't care what people are saying about me, good or bad, in blogs or on Twitter or in the media. There will always be people who don't like you and don't like your books. Ignore them. — J.A. Konrath

While the modern Bible is missing many of its original passages, the Book of Bob isn't one of them. You're probably getting it confused with the lost Book of Fred. — J.A. Konrath

Fate is a future you didn't try hard enough to change. — J.A. Konrath

When a single author uploading his own books to Amazon can earn more money than a large N.Y. publisher exploiting both print and e-rights, there's something amiss. — J.A. Konrath