Kim Harrison Jenks Quotes & Sayings

Five trolls in a dra-a-a-a-ag,' the four-inch man sang from my shoulder. 'Four purple condoms, three French ticklers, two horny vamps and a succubus in the snow. — Kim Harrison

Jenks, deep into his honey drunk, gyrated wildly. — Kim Harrison

Glenn ... I wasn't expecting this. He's not after my blood, and we like the same stuff."
From the rearview mirror, Jenks snickered. "Guns, violence, crime scene photos, leather, sex, and women. Yeah, I can see that."
(Ivy and Jenks) — Kim Harrison

Yeah, the elf looks good in the sun," Jenks smart-mouthed, the pixy currently sitting on the bottom of my hooped earrings and out of the moderate wind. "When you going to put us all out of your misery and boink him? — Kim Harrison

Jenks laughed, taking to the air and saying, "Give it up, FIB man. It'll take more than you to get her out. Remember what Ivy and I did to your finest last spring? Add Rachel to that, and you can say your prayers."
From behind me came Edden's dry "You think Ivy wants another stint as a candy striper? — Kim Harrison

She just threatened to throw the next man who shoots at you out the window. Megan is awake. She offered to help. God, Trent, what is it with you and women? — Kim Harrison

You are pathetic, Rache," Jenks said, and my eyes darted to the top of the rack and I saw him standing there, hands on his hips and frowning at me, his wings a silver blur. "Rachel and Trent, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. No wait, it was a hospital room, and he had his hands on your ass and you had your tongue down his throat. I can see why you might be confused. — Kim Harrison

Thanks, Edden," I said, truly pleased that he was sending someone for Jenks not only because now I didn't have to, but that he'd thought of Jenks at all. "You're a peach."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said, and I could hear his smile. "I bet you say that to all the captains. — Kim Harrison

by Rebecca 0 minutes ago
" Tink's titties!" Jenks from any of Kim Harrison's books on The Hollows. (aka Cincinnati,OH)

reply | edit | delete | flag * — Kim Harrison

Jenks's wings tickled my neck, and I shivered. — Kim Harrison

Listen to me, you broken-fanged, moss-wiped excuse for a back-drafted blood bag! Jenks said, a silver-edged red dust slipping from him. — Kim Harrison

Jenks, you can fly me up the rest of the way to Trent, and then pow! I give
Trent his statue."
"Pow, you'll be naked!" Jenks exclaimed.
(Rachel and Jenks) — Kim Harrison

Tighter than a straight man's butt cheeks in prison — Kim Harrison

My kids know you can make it if you take risks and work hard. That we can work in the system you lunkers set up. That's all a parent really needs to give his child. That, and how to love someone with all your soul. — Kim Harrison

It wasn't the bent, nasty, yellow laminated four-by-six card everyone else got but a real heavyweight plastic tag embossed with my name. Jenks had one, too, and he was obnoxiously proud of it even though I was the one wearing it, right under mine. It would get me into the morgue when nothing else would. Well, besides being dead. — Kim Harrison

And you knows ugly when you sees ugly, don't ya, sweet thang. — Kim Harrison

Jenks made a face. He turned my son into a thief and broke my partner's heart. Why should I give him a draft of consideration? — Kim Harrison

Jenks made a move to follow, probably forgetting he didn't have wings anymore. He leaned forward and fell to the floor, face first. "Jenks!" I shouted when he hit with a dull smack and started swearing. — Kim Harrison

Rachel knew what she was doing. And when she didn't, she could improvise on the fly, coming up with options that left a lot of collateral damage but usually only hurt herself, not the people around her. It was one of the things he would never admit that he admired about her. — Kim Harrison

We're going to swim it."
I flipped forward a few pages. "Underwater."
Jenks blinked. "Rache, you gotta stop using that sugar substitute.Under the water? Do you know how cold it is? — Kim Harrison

I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "Look at that," I muttered. "The bastard
made me cry."
Jenks' wings made a cool spot on my neck. "Want me to pixy him?"
"No. But now I don't have the chance of a ghost's fart in a windstorm
to get that Pandora charm." That's not really what was bothering me,
though. It was Trent. Why did I even care what he thought? — Kim Harrison

Ford put a hand to his head. "Back up. Back up!" he cried. "You're too close."
Heart pounding, I looked at the eight feet between us and pressed into the fridge.
"I think he meant for the ghost to back up," Jenks said dryly. — Kim Harrison

Get out," he said flatly. "I just got her normal again. Get out before you turn her into a sniveling, twitterpated ... twit!"
"Jenks!" I exclaimed, and Pierce put a calming hand on me.
"That is my intent, Jenks," he said gallantly, and I wondered if Pierce meant his intent was to leave or to turn me into a twitterpated twit. — Kim Harrison

I snorted, pulling myself in and already knowing what Jenks thought pixies did first best. And it wasn't saving my ass like he told everyone. — Kim Harrison

Jenks enthusiastically leaned against the counter and opened the box. Bypassing the plastic knife, he broke off about a third of it and took a huge bite. Ivy watched, appalled, and I shrugged. His mouth moving as he hummed, Jenks finished unpacking the sacks. I was half dead, Ivy was whoring herself to keep me safe, but Jenks was okay as long as he had chocolate. — Kim Harrison

Tink's a Disney whore! — JENKS

Holy dust," I murmured, looking for it among the clutter. Jenks's wings hummed and he dropped to hover over the envelope that I'd gathered from the slats under my bed, the only place the pixies didn't clean. It was on sanctified ground, so I figured it was holy enough. And God knew my bed hadn't seen any action lately. — Kim Harrison

Rache," he said, trying to get into my line of sight. "What more do you need? God to send a telegram?" (Jenks) — Kim Harrison

Piss on my daisies, we have to save the demons! — Kim Harrison

And L-M-N-O-P is not one letter, but five. It took me forever to figure that out. — Kim Harrison

Tinks titties Rache
Jenks — Kim Harrison

Okay, I like him," I admitted.
"But it takes more than a nice body, Jenks. Jeez, I do have a little depth. You've got a great body, and you don't see me trying to get into your Fruit of the Looms. — Kim Harrison

Oh for the sweet humpin' love of Tink! ~ Jenks — Kim Harrison

Bug?" Jenks shouted, incensed. "You sack of sweat stink. I've got farts that smell sweeter than you. Think you're better than me? Poop ice cream cones, do you? — Kim Harrison

Quen's gaze went to Ivy and Jenks.
Peeved, I crossed my legs and shook my head. "We're a team. I'm not asking them to leave so you can tell me of whatever piss-poor problem you've landed yourself in."
The older elf's brow wrinkled. He took an angry breath.
"Look," I said, my finger jabbing out to point at him. "I don't like you. Jenks doesn't like you. And Ivy wants to eat you. Start talking. — Kim Harrison

Ah, Jenks? It's not a lake, it's a friggin' freshwater ocean. Did you see the size of the tanker going under the bridge when we came into town? The wake from it could tip us. I'm not canoeing it unless your name is Pocahontas. — Kim Harrison

Under the disguise amulet, Jenks looked very different with black hair and a darker complexion. He had his new aviator jacket on over the T-shirt he had bought in the previous store, making him a sexy, leggy, hunk o' pixy ass in jeans. No wonder he had fifty-four kids and Matalina smiled like Mona Lisa. — Kim Harrison

I handed it over, and Jenks stumbled at the weight. His head thunked into the wall of the narrow hallway.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, crashing into the opposite wall when he overcompensated.

"I'm all right!" he said quickly, waving off any help. "I'm all right. Sweet mother of Tink, the damn walls are so close! It's like walking in a freaking anthill. — Kim Harrison

It takes an incredibly strong person to walk away from someone they love," Jenks said, holding up two fingers as if making a list. "Especially knowing they will do something asinine, like shopping when their blood count is so low they ought to be in the hospital. You should give her credit for respecting you like that. — Kim Harrison

But he's Rachel Candy!"
-Both Jenks and Al — Kim Harrison

Come on, Rachel!" Jenks shrilled. "You're a badass, not a bad witch! — Kim Harrison

Jenks's gaze was even and calm, wise and even a bit sad. The wind ruffled his hair, and the sound of the pixies grew obvious.
"No," he said. "I don't think you do."
I glared, and he added, "I think it would kill you quicker than going to see Piscary wearing gothic lace. I think managing to find a blood balance with Ivy is going to be the only way you're going to survive. Besides ... " He grinned impishly. " ... no one but Ivy will put up with the things you need or the crap you dish out. — Kim Harrison

I've got her okay." Jenks's angular face was pale, making him look as if he was going to pass out. "Jax, it's cold out. Get in Ms. Morgan's purse until we get to the motel." "Hell no!" Jax said, shocking me as he lit on my shoulder. "I'm not going to ride in no purse. I'll be fine with Rex. Tink's diaphragm, Dad. Where do you think I've been sleeping for the last four days?" "Tink's diaph - " Jenks sputtered. "Watch your mouth, young man." This was not happening. — Kim Harrison

Jenks: I can't even pix anyone. I sweat now instead of dusting, did you know that? I've got water coming off me instead of dust. What the hell can I do with sweat? Rub up against someone and make them puke in disgust? I've seen you sweat, and it's not pretty. I don't even want to think about sex, two sweaty bodies pressed against each other like that? Disgusting. Talk about birth control - it's no wonder you only have a handful of kids. — Kim Harrison

Jenks snorted, crumpling up the empty bag and throwing it away. "You can help Rachel by dropping dead."
"That's still an option," said Ivy. — Kim Harrison

Together we made our way from the service entrances in back to the front, Jenks shedding clothes and handing them to me to stuff in my bag every few yards. It was terribly distracting, but I managed to avoid running into the Dumpsters and recycling bins. — Kim Harrison

Say what?" Jenks blurted out. "You think those moss wipes are coming back?"
"I wish," I muttered. "I've got some serious hurt with their name on it. — Kim Harrison

Jenks squinted at me, and when Trent nodded, the pixy gestured sourly to Bis to get on with it. A four inch man ruled us all. — Kim Harrison

Don't stereotype, Jenks. HAPA is an equal-opportunity hate group, I said. — Kim Harrison

If Jenks and she were to be believed, I structured my life to be as horrific as possible to have fun in bed, but having Ivy mad at me might be too much for even me right now. — Kim Harrison

And Trent," I said, watching Rex since Jenks was preoccupied with a flightless child. "Beloved city son and idiot billionaire goes and gets caught in the ever-after. Who has to bust her butt and make a deal with demons to get him back?"
"The one who got him there?" Jenks said, and my eyes narrowed. — Kim Harrison

Tink's a Disneyland whore!"-Jenks — Kim Harrison

Teaching an adolescent pixy and teenage gargoyle how to make explosives might not be such a good idea. But hell, he'd learned when he was five. — Kim Harrison

She was only a year old, but elves grew up fast. Not like witches, who Jenks swore were not able to be on their own until they were thirty. Ahem. — Kim Harrison

Jenks snickered. "Yeah, Rache. Why bother? I mean, this could be good. Ivy could invite her mom over for a housewarming. We've been here a year, and the woman is dying to come over. Well, at least she would be if she were still alive."
Worried, I looked up from the phone book.
Alarm sifted over Ivy. For a moment it was so quiet I could hear the clock above the sink, and then Ivy jerked, her speed edging into that eerie vamp quickness she took pains to hide.
"Give me the phone," she said, snatching it. — Kim Harrison

Have any of your clients died?" Ford asked. "Someone you were trying to help?"

"Brett," Jenks said.

"Peter?" I blurted out. But the amulet went a negative gray.

"Nick," Jenks said nastily, and the color on the metal disk became a violent shade of purple. Ford blinked, trying to divorce himself from the hate. "I'd say no," he whispered. — Kim Harrison

Rache! Glad you're ... Tink loves a duck!" he said, wings clattering. "It stinks of sex in here. God, woman. I leave you alone for one night, and you're humping the ghost." - Jenks to Rachel — Kim Harrison

My pulse slowed, and as Jenks charmed the ladies behind the counter into flustered goo, I tried to look cool and professional among the plastic toys and paper hats. It wasn't going to happen, so I tried for dangerous. I think I managed cranky ... — Kim Harrison

Let my office know when you change your mind," he said, then headed for the door, jerking to a stop when Ivy didn't get out of his way.
"Let us know when cherry lollypops come out your ass," Jenks said, — Kim Harrison

I'd never seen a man who could outshop me, but Jenks was a master. — Kim Harrison

I'm a pixy, Rachel. I may look all tough and stuff, but I got wings, and I know infatuation when I see it. — Kim Harrison

The tight sound of Jenks's wings prompted a flurry of motion, and I watched Bis jam the wad of paper into his mouth and Belle yank a hand of homemade cards from under her leg. Bis suddenly had a hand of cards, too - looking tiny in his craggy fist - and I rolled my eyes when he threw a card down on the pile as Jenks flew in. — Kim Harrison

Jenks watched for a moment from the rim of the bucket, then said, " You look like a porno star on your hands and knees, mopping in your underwear. Push it baby" he moaned. " Push it! — Kim Harrison

[Jenks]"I think you're all screwy in the head," he said when Bis nodded his encouragement. "But go ahead. I've got Quen's number in my phone. I'll call him if you both explode in a flash of black underwear and money so I won't have to fly all the way home. — Kim Harrison

Jenks shook his head. "Rache, I really feel bad for her, but Ivy's right. She can't stay here. She needs professional help."
"Really?" I said belligerently, feeling myself warm. "I haven't heard of any group therapy sessions for retired demon familiars, have you? — Kim Harrison

Face it, you stupid little cookie maker," Jenks said, almost sounding fond, "in the last couple of days you've seen what it's like to be in a family, with all the touchy tempers and irritation that goes on. Now you get to see the other side, where we do stupid stuff for each other just because we like you. Rache is the little sister. Ivy's the big sister. I'm the uncle from out of state, and you're the rich nephew no one likes but we put up with you anyway because we feel sorry for you. Just let me help, huh? It won't kill you. — Kim Harrison

Nina looked up, her eyes fixing on mine with such ferocity I could almost see the undead vampire in them.
"There is something under here," she said, and I shivered.
"Yeah, we know, dirt nap," Jenks said.
"Rachel already told us. — Kim Harrison

Don't you listen to them, Rexy," I cooed, and the cat sniffed my nose. "Rachel is a smart girl. She's not going to go out with a ghost no matter how sexy he is. She knows better. Jenkskie wenskie can just get bent." I beamed at Jenks, and he made an ugly face. "Rache, put my cat down before you mess with her kitty brain. — Kim Harrison

Plan B?' Ivy said. 'What is plan B?'
Jenks reddened. 'Grab the fish and run like hell,' he muttered, and I almost giggled. — Kim Harrison

I held my bag open and he dropped Jenks inside.
"Hey!" the pixy protested, and then, "Tink's little pink dildo, Rache? Haven't you gotten rid of those condoms yet? They got a shelf life, you know. — Kim Harrison

I want an expresso. Black. But give me the domestic blend. That Turkish crap gives me the runs for a week. - Jenks — Kim Harrison

Jenks made a face as he levered himself up on the sill. Much as I enjoy this horrific outpouring of estrogen, I'm going to go say good-bye to my wife. Let me know when you're ready. I'll be in the garden - probably next to the stink weed. — Kim Harrison

I could sit and watch nature documentaries with Jenks and the kids the rest of the night if I wanted. And trust me, watching a dozen pixies scream as a crocodile chomped on a zebra was something not to be missed. They invariably cheered for the crocodile, not the zebra. — Kim Harrison

A witch, a vampire, and a pixy walk into a bar, I thought as I led the way into the Squirrel's End. It was early, and the sun had yet to set when the door swung shut behind Jenks, sealing us in the warm air smelling faintly of smoke. Immediately Nick yanked it open to come in behind us. And there's the punch line. — Kim Harrison

Good God, the man is dumber than Tink's dildo... — Kim Harrison

I feel like run-over crap," I complained.
"You look like run-over crap," Jenks said. "Drink your tea. — Kim Harrison

Elves apparently had a short childhood. Not like witches, who seemed to take forever to grow up, according to Jenks. — Kim Harrison

Oh God.
Jenks, you aren't a carton of milk with an expiration date. You look great - — Kim Harrison

Tears could not be equal, if I wept diamonds from the skies.
Jenks (Black Magic Sanction) — Kim Harrison

My God, woman. Your aura is glowing. Just admit you like him, bump uglies, and get on with your life! — Kim Harrison

Come on, Rachel! Jenks shrilled. ou're a badass, not a bad witch! — Kim Harrison

Jenks kept me alive for two years through two death threats, a crazy banshee, and at least two serial killers. Its about time I return the favor! And if I can't, then I can sit by his bed and hold his hand as he dies, 'cause I've had plenty of practice doing that, too! — Kim Harrison

Maybe he'll go away if we don't answer," I said, and Jenks rose - sixty feet in a mere second. In another second, he dropped back down.
"He's coming around back," he said, his gold dust looking black through my sunglasses.
Damn it back to the Turn. "Pix the sucker," I said, then waved my hand in negation when Jumoke clearly thought I was serious. The small pixy looked about six, and he took everything literally.
[ ... ]
"Let him come back," I finally said. "If this is about that paper of his, he can suck my toes and die. — Kim Harrison

Muttering about caves, Jenks came in with my suitcase, his eyes roving the low ceiling. He dropped my bag by the door, tossed me the keys to the van, and headed out, flicking the light switch several times because he could. — Kim Harrison

I'm giving you fair warning, Mr. Cormel. If you bespell Rachel, I'll open up your head for the sunshine to come in." - Jenks — Kim Harrison

That's all kids want to know - that you love them. — Kim Harrison

Pierce made a calculating noise, accidentally brushing my knee as he shifted. "As Jenks would say, you snore nice."
I smiled back unconvincingly. I snore nice. Not "I opine that your auditory nasal exhalations are most pleasing. — Kim Harrison

You think my kids just popped out of the ground? — Kim Harrison

All right, all right! Don't lose your panties. No, wait. You don't have any, do you? — Kim Harrison

No," she said firmly. "I want you to stay when I go. Break tradition again, my love, and burn me alone in the home we built. I don't want you with me. You aren't done. You see too far ahead. You need to make the world in your thoughts a real one that our children can fly in." - Matalina to Jenks — Kim Harrison

I won't snatch, harm, or scare to death people with you or use checking up on you as an excuse to cause trouble. You're worse than my mother, Rachel."
"Mine, too," Jenks muttered. — Kim Harrison

Come on, Jenks," he said, moving him into the hallway. "I've got some clothes you can put on. Falling down is a lot more comfortable when you have something between your ass and the carpet. — Kim Harrison

Uh, guys?" Jenks said, hovering at the window. "Fountain Square is on fire."
"What?" I jumped to my feet and turned in one motion. Al rushed to the window, and we pressed our foreheads to the glass, looking down. — Kim Harrison

Did I ever tell you about the time I was working for the I.S. to help feed my family? Matalina had just had another set of quads and things were looking ugly. I had to take a job for hazard pay to babysit this witch no one else would touch. - Jenks — Kim Harrison

In a smooth, unhurried motion, Jenks reached out and slapped him. "Seems to me you should pull the brains out of your ass. — Kim Harrison

Tink's a Disney whore!- Jenks — Kim Harrison