Kemper Quotes & Sayings

One nice thing that I have discovered about Los Angeles is the enthusiasm with which people dress. — Ellie Kemper

If they ever turn, let them chase me for a while. It's always been a
fantasy of mine to be chased by zombie cheerleaders. — Alison Kemper

If there is no case to take care of, then you will take care to create a case to take care of. Otherwise your system becomes useless. — Oliver Kemper

S'up?" he asks. My voice rattles when I answer. "N-not much. You know, reanimated corpses chasing me on a cruise ship. Same old. — Alison Kemper

If I can face a street full of rabid zombies, I can tell a boy I like him. Right? — Alison Kemper

I ended up majoring in English, which I'm not particularly fluent in. — Ellie Kemper

I do love irony. It's so ... complicated and coincidental. — Cassandra Kemper

What's the point of doing what you're told if you have no choice in the matter? — Cassandra Kemper

If you're going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice. — Ellie Kemper

Los Angeles survives on that which is unpredictable. The unexpected courses through its very veins. — Ellie Kemper

I'm a threat to anything that hurts Wonderland, including indifference. — Cassandra Kemper

I certainly wanted for my mother a nice, quiet easy death like everyone else wants. — Edmund Kemper

You know the head's where everything is at, the brain, eyes, mouth. That's the person. I remember being told as a kid, you cut off the head and the body dies. the body is nothing after the head is cut off ... well that's not quite true. With a girl there's a lot left in the girl's body without a head. — Edmund Kemper

I just wanted to see how it felt to shoot Grandma. — Edmund Kemper

The first good-looking girl I see tonight is going to die. — Edmund Kemper

Change happens a lot more than you acknowledge ... — Cassandra Kemper

I think I get certain pleasure from writing what I'm performing. — Ellie Kemper

A living is made, Mr Kemper, by selling something that everybody needs at least once a year.Yes, sir! And a million ismade by producing something that everybody needs every day.You artists produce something that nobody needs at any time. — Thornton Wilder

Living in a diverse world - or leading a diverse work force - is more than a mental construct, a memorized list of cultural differences, or a willingness to be tolerant. It's about examining how well we function at the margins and interfaces of life, where divergent ways of being and believing meet and collide. (Kemper — Mark E. Mendenhall

Thank you, Deke. You are very good to me." "I know," he smirks. "Can I get back in your bed now? — Alison Kemper

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.' — Ellie Kemper

You know ... it always seems obvious to outsiders when someone is doing something wrong, but when your mind is in the midst of evil, it is easy to be manipulated by crueller instincts. — Cassandra Kemper

I can't do impressions. — Ellie Kemper

If I killed them, you know, they couldn't reject me as a man. It was more or less making a doll out of a human being ... and carrying out my fantasies with a doll, a living human doll. — Edmund Kemper

I remember there was actually a sexual thrill ... you hear that little pop and pull their heads of and hold their heads up by the hair. Whipping their heads off, their body sitting there. That'd get me off. — Edmund Kemper

I loved 'Freaks and Geeks.' I don't know a better show. — Ellie Kemper

Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them. — Ellie Kemper

I need to make sure that when I'm running out to the drugstore I'm not wearing a Biore strip or something. Not that I expect anyone to recognize me, but on the off chance they do, I just don't want to embarrass myself. — Ellie Kemper

I had thought of annihilating the entire block that I lived on. — Edmund Kemper

I think weather affects my mood a lot more than I thought, and I like to be in bad moods sometimes. — Ellie Kemper

I'm a sixteen-year-old unlicensed,
inexperienced driver with a reanimated corpse blocking my
view. Crazy is the only way I can drive. — Alison Kemper

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa's job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show. — Ellie Kemper

It was an urge ... A strong urge, and the longer I let it go the stronger it got, to where I was taking risks to go out and kill people-risks that normally, according to my little rules of operation, I wouldn't take because they could lead to arrest. — Edmund Kemper

Maybe this was, in fact, the very definition of intimacy: acting with another person the way you did when you were alone. — Kemper Donovan

I was at the 1976 Republican Convention in Kansas City. I was running 'Nobody for President' at the time. I printed up these press releases and handed them out to the crowd at the Kemper Arena. 'Nobody keeps campaign promises.' 'Nobody lowers your taxes.' 'Nobody should have that much power.' 'Nobody is in Washington working for you.' — Wavy Gravy

In Los Angeles, people dress with the deep and earnest hope that people will do nothing but stare at them. — Ellie Kemper

It's interesting because with a lot of people who I've met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is. In terms of formal schooling - I feel like that's a nineteenth century term - but in terms of where you went to high school or college, or wherever, all that really is irrelevant, I have found, in comedy. — Ellie Kemper

I've never had prejudice against me because of being a woman in comedy, I've never felt any sort of unfairness because of that - but I do think it is naive to think that it doesn't exist. — Ellie Kemper

Improv is mostly what I've studied. — Ellie Kemper

When I laugh hard, sometimes I wet my pants, but I'm always relieved because that means I'm having a good time. — Ellie Kemper

[Talking about Monte Rissell] ... and like Ed Kemper he was able to convince the psychiatrist he was making excellent progress while he was actually killing human beings. This is kind of a sick version of the old joke about how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb. The answer being, just one, but only if the light bulb wants to change. — John E. Douglas, Mark Olshaker

With a girl, there's a lot left in the girl's body without a head. Of course, the personality is gone. — Edmund Kemper

New York is like the weirdest city in the United States, in a great way, and Los Angeles is probably more similar to most of America. — Ellie Kemper

I do not understand how you know you only have one life if you have never died, because if you have never died, then you cannot possibly know if you would go on living a second life, or go on living no more lives. — Cassandra Kemper

SOMETIMES, THINGS DIDN'T NEED TO BE BIGGER, THEY ONLY NEED TO BECOME BETTER. — Oliver Kemper

That's it. New rule: no more flirting during the zombie apocalypse — Alison Kemper

To murder freedom ... well, that's to murder my time. And no one should have the right to kill anyone else's time. — Cassandra Kemper

Money is a servant to politicians and the country.
But, if the politicians and the country become the servant of the money, the politicians has failed. — Oliver Kemper

My painting teacher in high school used to say, 'I can't paint like I want to, but through practice I'll get better.' But I don't think that's true. I think sometimes you just can't paint. — Ellie Kemper

You can take that needle out of my leg now. I'd like to pull up my pants. — Alison Kemper

I guess it's easier to think badly and then be pleasantly surprised. — Ellie Kemper

The Foundation of Freedom is Unity — Oliver Kemper