Kazoo Kid Quotes & Sayings

Old lady Patterson is a real tightwad." Raising his voice
so it would carry, the man continued, "If she stuck a lump of coal
up her ass, within a week she'd shit out a diamond. — Drew Hunt

For Oscar, high school was the equivalent of a medieval spectacle, like being put in the stocks and forced to endure the peltings and outrages of a mob of deranged half-wits, an experience from which he supposed he should have emerged a better person, but that's not really what happened - and if there were any lessons to be gleaned from the ordeal of those years he never quite figured out what they were. He walked into school every day like the fat lonely nerdy kid he was, and all he could think about was the day of his manumission, when he would at last be set free from its unending horror. Hey, Oscar, are there faggots on Mars? - Hey, Kazoo, catch this. The first time he heard the term moronic inferno he know exactly where it was located and who were its inhabitants. — Junot Diaz

Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo! — Dana Gould

In the sky the sun spit its golden, incandescent venom out at the glittering afternoon. A yellow, screaming banshee sparkling bitch of a diamond confidently suspended in a cloudless sky. — Gerard Harrison

What do you think most humane ?-To spare a person shame. — Friedrich Nietzsche

You will not accept credit that is due to another, or harbor jealousy of an explorer who is more fortunate. — Abbott L. Lowell

It must take the most incredible self-control, that stillness, that passivity; it must be exhausting. — Paula Hawkins

O, what a world of unseen visions and heard silences, this insubstantial country of the mind! What ineffable essences, these touchless rememberings and unshowable reveries! And the privacy of it all! A secret theater of speechless monologue and prevenient counsel, an invisible mansion of all moods, musings, and mysteries, an infinite resort of disappointments and discoveries. A whole kingdom where each of us reigns reclusively alone, questioning what we will, commanding what we can. A hidden hermitage where we may study out the troubled book of what we have done and yet may do. An introcosm that is more myself than anything I can find in a mirror. This consciousness that is myself of selves, that is everything, and yet is nothing at all - what is it?
And where did it come from?
And why? — Julian Jaynes

Iraq has stockpiled biological and chemical weapons, and is rebuilding the facilities used to make more of those weapons ... We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons - the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have. — George W. Bush

All of a sudden the burlap bag in her hands started to squawk and bulge wildly. "What is this?" Caleb's good humor was apparently restored. "It's a chicken, sodbuster. After you chop off his head, gut him, and pluck out all his feathers, he'll fry up real nice." Lily felt her lunch boil up into her throat. She'd fed plenty of chickens in her time, and certainly fried a few, but Rupert had usually been the one to kill them. "He looks delicious," she said in a small voice. Caleb, who had been about to lead his horse back to his grazing place, stopped in midstride and grinned at her. Not for another three sections of land would Lily have let him know she dreaded the task. "Was there something you wanted?" she asked a little stiffly. He shrugged. "Just a chicken dinner." After — Linda Lael Miller

After I'd been a lawyer for about five or six years, I started playing around with fiction. — John Grisham