Jokes These Nuts Quotes & Sayings

My respect for human beings is based not on the colour of a man's skin nor authority he may wield, but purely on merit. — Nelson Mandela

Some people might think Rain is the superstar or super successful, but I am someone who always sets new goals and tries to accomplish them. — Rain

Page after page of professional economic journals are filled with mathematical formulas leading the reader from sets of more or less plausible but entirely arbitrary assumptions to precisely stated but irrelevant theoretical conclusions. — Wassily Leontief

Just as in the world of plants and animals nothing ceases to exist, but continually changes its form, the manure into grain, the grain into a food, the tadpole into a frog, the caterpillar into a butterfly, the acorn into an oak, so man also does not perish, but only undergoes a change. He believed in this, and therefore always looked death straight in the face, and bravely bore the sufferings that lead towards it — Leo Tolstoy

If you're not interested in me, just tell me. You don't have to ruin me for all women."
"I'm more about action than words." I'm glad he's making jokes, but I still wince. I drop to a crouch in front of Trent and ask in a low voice, "Are you okay? Seriously?"
"Yeah, I'll live. And by live, I mean curl up in the fetal position on my couch with a bag of ice on my nuts for the rest of the night."
"I'll hold the ice," I offer in a soft whisper. — K.A. Tucker

I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not. — Keith Miller

Magic came from within, from turning a secret key that lurked inside, waiting for the words to set it free. The — A.J. Hartley

8:30 P.M.: Personal time. Free of Reznik at last. We wash our jumpsuits, shine our boots, scrub the barracks floor and the latrine, clean our rifles, pass around dirty magazines, and swap other contraband like candy and chewing gum. We play cards and bust each other's nuts and complain about Reznik. We share the day's rumors and tell bad jokes and push back against the silence inside our own heads, the place where the never-ending voiceless scream rises like the superheated air above a lava flow. Inevitably — Rick Yancey

Maybe taming my tongue will be good for me in the end. But it's pretty hard when you've got a world filled with idiots from Drunkopolis. — A. J. Jacobs

I'd always wanted to go to drama school. My life plan was to get into drama school and become an actor, but it took me three years. — Phoebe Fox

When Dradin stopped running he found himself on the fringe of the religious quarter, next to an emaciated macadamia salesman who cracked jokes like nuts. — Jeff VanderMeer

I'd rather betray the world than let the world betray me. — Cao Cao

Stop going to the zoos! Don't take your children to the zoos! No creature ever deserves captivity without any crime! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream ... I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old people's tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting. — Mark Twain

Why does my heart pump faster when we're close? How is it you do that to me? — Jus Accardo

Here are some of the best Minecraft jokes for kids. Player 1: If creepers would actually invade my house in real life, I would throw them some nuts and bolts. Player 2: That's really lame. Why would you do that? Player 1: Because I'm sssssssscrewed! — Max Tyler

Learning is a good thing, but more often it leads to mistakes. It is like the admonition of the priest Konan. It is worthwhile just looking at the deeds of accomplished persons for the purpose of knowing our own insufficiencies. But often this does not happen. For the most part, we admire our own opinions and become fond of arguing. — Yamamoto Tsunetomo

I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut- terin', or about them bein' off their nut. — Jimmy Durante

Maybe if I forgot things once in a while, we'd all be a little bit happier. — Jay Asher

The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?" — Jerry Seinfeld

Shahara grimaced at him. He was categorically insane-that was probably what the C.I. stood for. It had to be. "You have some severe mental problem I need to be aware of, don't you?"
He flashed a half-dimpled smile that sent shivers the length of her body. When he continued, it was in a strange accent that sounded more than just a little too creepy. "Just because I eat babies for breakfast and pick my teeth with their bones doesn't mean I'm nuts."
She rolled her eyes. Given who his father had been, he probably shouldn't be making jokes like that. No doubt that had been his father's favorite delicacy. "Any other weird habits I should be aware of?"
"Just my need to dance naked in the streets under the light of a full moon."
-Shahara & Syn — Sherrilyn Kenyon