Quotes & Sayings About Jesus Birthday

I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and I like to then walk around the mall and go, 'No! No! This wasn't what it was supposed to be about, people!' Then if there's a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, 'Listen, fat man, you're just a clown at my birthday party.' — Marc Maron

And the news got worse. It appeared that there was this whole other person Jesus Christ whose birthday a lot of people tended to confuse with mine. I was personally outraged. It was a long time before I forgave the Lord for that. — Ava Gardner

When I started this song I was still thirty-three The age that Mozart died and sweet Jesus was set free Keats and Shelley too soon finished, Charley Parker would be And I fantasized some tragedy'd be soon curtailing me Well just today I had my birthday I made it thirty-four Mere mortal, not immortal, not star-crossed anymore I've got this problem with my aging I no longer can ignore A tame and toothless tabby can't produce a lion's roar. — Harry Chapin

Jesus, it's the beloved day we call Christmas Eve, the date we've set aside to remember and reflect upon your nativity. Luke took so much care to fix your birthday in the context of real history and a real world, but whether or not you were born anywhere close to December 25 is not important at all. That you were born - that you actually came from eternity into time and space - that's what's important, Jesus. I sing to you today with all the passion and delight I can possibly muster, "Born that man (including me) no more may die, born to raise the sons of earth (including me), born to give them (including me) second birth." For the certainty of your birth, and therefore my rebirth, I give you great praise. — Scotty Smith

Wait, you clean my dildo?' I ask, slowly. 'Every week, I clean it with the polish.' 'With furniture polish?' 'Yes.' 'Jesus.' Sophie got me the dildo for my birthday present three years ago. I have never used it. No matter how little sex I get, I've never been able to get turned on by a piece of rubber. And thank God; I'd probably have died of toxic poisoning by now with half a gallon of Mr Sheen being wedged up my vagina. 'Katya, — Dawn O'Porter

If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry! — Ellen DeGeneres

If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas? — Dana Gould

We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from what I read he was the least materialistic person who ever walked the earth. No bling on Jesus. He kept a low profile and we turned his birthday into the most commercial day of the year. In fact we have a whole Jesus birthday season. And then at the end of it, we have the nerve to have an economist come on TV and say what a horrible Jesus birthday season we had. — Chris Rock

Did you know that Christmas means "Christ" (Jesus) and "mas" (a celebration)? The story about Jesus is found in the name of that special day when we celebrate His birth! — Soraya Diase Coffelt

Jesus, Dean. I don't know why you have me around with her watching your back"
"You're just jealous. But don't worry. One day you too will have your very own little Amazon."
"I'll just settle for a woman."
"If you're lonely, you can have the inflatable sex doll Blue gave me for my birthday. I don't want the two
of you to miss out on an opportunity for love."
"You didn't like her?"
"I wasn't man enough to satisfy her cravings. I'm sure you'll be different. — Marjorie M. Liu

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap! — Norm MacDonald

In the little village of Bethlehem, There lay a Child one day; And the sky was bright with a holy light O'er the place where Jesus lay. 'Twas a humble birthplace, but O how much God gave to us that day, From the manger bed what a path has led, What a perfect, holy way. Alleluia! O how the angels sang. Alleluia! How it rang! And the sky was bright with a holy light 'Twas the birthday of a King. — Robert J. Morgan

For a fact, the Christians stole Christmas. We don't mind sharing it with them, but we don't like this pretense of theirs that it is the birthday of Jesus. It is the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun-Dies Natalis Invicti Solis. Christmas is a relic of sun worship. — Anne Nicol Gaylor

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. — Demetri Martin

How to celebrate the 50th birthday: Go on your knees and thank God (Jesus Christ) for the life of T.B. Joshua. Pray for the Church of God for a strong bond of love. Pray for your nation and the whole world. As you rededicate yourself to the acts of giving for the rest of your life, God bless you. Happy Birthday! — T. B. Joshua

Benefits of Being in God's Family The moment you were spiritually born into God's family, you were given some astounding birthday gifts: the family name, the family likeness, family privileges, family intimate access, and the family inheritance!7 The Bible says, "Since you are his child, everything he has belongs to you."8 The New Testament gives great emphasis to our rich "inheritance." It tells us, "My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."9 As children of God we get to share in the family fortune. Here on earth we are given "the riches ... of his grace ... kindness ... patience ... glory ... wisdom ... power ... and mercy."10 But in eternity we will inherit even more. Paul said, "I want you to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people."11 — Rick Warren

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY JESUS — Ashley Capps

Christmas has a deeper significance to followers of Jesus. It's not all about the gifts underneath Christmas trees or the elaborate meals served in extravagantly decorated homes. Christmas is the season of Immanuel. We celebrate the good news that He is near, that He cares for us, and that He transforms lives. His presence was the greatest present God gave mankind. May we be present carriers of that presence! — Katherine J. Walden

And let us, on this birthday of the year, renew each his personal and solemn dedication to God; supplicating forgiveness for the past, and invoking grace to help in every time of need for the future. The atoning blood of Jesus! How solemn and how precious is it at this moment! Bathed in it afresh, we will more supremely, unreservedly, and submissively yield ourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead. We will travel to the open fountain, wash, and be clean. Christ loves us to come as we are. — Octavius Winslow