Jerry Lewis Funny Humor Quotes & Sayings

Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny ... Do you have anything to say to that?'
Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it.
I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up. — Tina Fey

He told me once that he didn't fear conscription as much as everyone else because the dozen bloodthirsty girls he was leaving behind were far more dangerous. — Victoria Aveyard

I get paid for what most kids get punished for. — Jerry Lewis

Was marriage invented to cage love? — Nilesh Rathod

If I spread myself too thin, I'm not a good actor, I'm not a good mother, and I'm just really high-strung - and everybody hates me. — Katherine Heigl

Insomnia is an all-night travel agency with posters advertising faraway places. — Charles Simic

Beware of harking back to what you were once when God wants you to be something you have never been. "If any man will do . . . , he shall know . — Oswald Chambers

Money doesn't mean anything to me. I've made a lot of money, but I want to enjoy life and not stress myself building my bank account. I give lots away and live simply, mostly out of a suitcase in hotels. We all know that good health is much more important. — Keanu Reeves

Perhaps ultimately, spiritual simply means experiencing wholeness and interconnectedness directly, a seeing that individuality and the totality are interwoven, that nothing is separate or extraneous. If you see in this way, then everything becomes spiritual in its deepest sense. — Jon Kabat-Zinn

I've had great success being a total idiot. — Jerry Lewis

People think needing a man is weak. I believe what is truly weak is not ALLOWING ourselves to surrender to our deepest desire to have a protective, strong, caring, masculine man in our life. — Renee Wade

The calendar says I had known him only a few months but there exist friendships which develop their own inner duration, their own eons of transparent time, independent of rotating, malicious music. — Vladimir Nabokov