In Order To Forgive Quotes & Sayings

In order to forgive, you must have blamed. — Wayne Dyer

The Cross is not simply a lovely example of sacrificial love. Throwing your life away needlessly is not admirable - it is wrong. Jesus' death was only a good example if it was more than an example, if it was something absolutely necessary to rescue us. And it was. Why did Jesus have to die in order to forgive us? There was a debt to be paid - God himself paid it. There was a penalty to be born - God himself bore it. Forgiveness is always a form of costly suffering. — Timothy Keller

You must first forgive yourself in order to forgive others. — Debasish Mridha

And if something should be found, particularly in the first part of the dissertation, that one is generally not accustomed to come across in scholarly writings, the reader must forgive my jocundity, just as I, in order to lighten the burden, sometimes sing at my work. — Soren Kierkegaard

And could it even really be called a kiss? It had been very, very
short. And did it mean anything if the kisser (him) had been feeling
terribly grateful to the kissee (her) and possibly even indebted, in
the most elemental of ways?
She'd saved his life, after all. A kiss was not entirely out of
order.
Plus, he had said, "Forgive me." Did it count as a kiss if the
kisser had asked for forgiveness?
Honoria thought not. — Julia Quinn

To forgive others, in order to forgive ourselves, because in their roles as our mirrors, they have been nothing other than a tool to our lack of self-love, a lack of self-recognition, and a lack of self-respect. — Human Angels

Withholding forgiveness until an offender understands or acknowledges the emotional pain they have inflicted is a subtle form of revenge. Why? Because it's hoping that the offender would hurt a little too, in order to understand. But this type of revenge robs you of your freedom and allows the offender to keep control of you. Dr. Chuck Lynch, I Should Forgive, but . — Beth Moore

The narratives we create in order to justify our actions and choices become in so many ways who we are. They are the things we say back to ourselves to explain our complicated lives. Perhaps the reason you've not yet been able to forgive yourself is that you're still invested in your self-loathing. Perhaps not forgiving yourself is the flip side of your stealing-this-now cycle. Would you be a better or worse person if you forgave yourself for the bad things you did? If you perpetually condemn yourself for being a liar and a thief, does that make you good? — Cheryl Strayed

If they made it out of the well alive, he'd stay and fight for her no matter the cost. He wouldn't run away again, not even if Peter put a gun to his head. He'd do whatever he had to in order to win her heart. He'd beg her to forgive him. And then he'd beg her to marry him. — Jody Hedlund

In order to truly forgive oneself, one must either explicitly or implicitly acknowledge that one's behavior was wrong and accept responsibility or blame for such behavior. Without these elements, self-forgiveness is irrelevant and pseudo self-forgiveness becomes likely. — Desmond Tutu

But why is it so hard to forgive?' Mrs. Conners asked.
'Pride,' Dad said. 'This person has already wronged you in some way, and now you are the one who has to swallow your pride, give something up, in order to forgive him. — Bree Despain

So Allah has to deny perfect justice in order to be merciful. There's no penalty for wrongdoing if you have done enough good things to offset it. But true justice doesn't work that way, not even on earth. If someone is convicted of fraud, the judge doesn't say, 'Well, he was a kind Little League coach. That offsets it.' In Islam, Allah is not perfectly just, because if he were, people would have to pay the penalty for every sin, and no one would get into paradise. That's what perfect justice is." I pushed the vegetables around on my neglected plate. "But I thought God is forgiving. You're implying that because of justice, God can't forgive." "God is forgiving. God wants to forgive people more than anything in the world, to restore them to himself. What I'm saying is that God's desire to forgive doesn't negate his perfect justice. Someone has to pay the penalty for sins. God's justice demands it. — David Gregory

They who have been exercised in the service of God for a long time, may in their prayers imagine all sorts of insults offered to them, such as blows, wounds, and the like, and so in order to imitate Christ by their charity, may accustom their hearts beforehand to forgive real injuries when they come. — Philip Neri

From Freedom is:
"True forgiveness is one of the most healing relasing, and freeing gifts we give to ourselves."

"You can't fake it (forgivenss). It has to come from an open heart. It has to be real. Otherwise it is pointless. In order to fruly forgive, you must be willing to open your heart and face and release the pain there."
"It requires humility. It requites us to give up our rightenous indignation, get off our soapbox, let go of blame, and le go of th pride of being right. It means we have to be willing to drop our victim story, soften our stance, and if necessary, let our heart be broken wide open." Brandon Bays Chapter 8 on forgiveness. — Brandon Bays

In order to heal oneself,
we must learn how to forgive. — Caroline Myss

I drank for about 25 years getting over the loss of my father and I took the anger out on myself. I did a good job at beating myself up at sometimes. I don't drink anymore but my alcoholic head occasionally says different. 'Nil By Mouth' was a love letter to my father because I needed to resolve some issues in order to be able to forgive him. — Gary Oldman

She understood now that while it had been wrong to kill Cansrel, it had also been right. The boy with the strange eyes had helped her to see the rightness of it. The boy who'd killed Archer. Some people had too much power and too much cruelty to live. Some people were too terrible, no matter if you loved them; no matter that you had to make yourself terrible too, in order to stop them. Some things just had to be done.
I forgive myself, though Fire. Today, I forgive myself. — Kristin Cashore

Aphiemi, the Greek word for "forgive," means to put something away, set it free, as well as to put one thing aside in order to move on to something else. Forgiveness is essentially a putting away of our anger toward another, putting it aside so that it no longer controls our lives. Only by doing so can we be free to move on to something better. — Catherine Clark Kroeger

In order to forgive, one must have lived through what I have lived through, and may God spare her that. — Leo Tolstoy

You must forgive in order to understand. — Marilynne Robinson

It was hard not to feel sorry for a life that had no purpose of its own ... His only purpose, it seemed, was to come into her mother's life in order to send her home.
For that, Bay decided, she would be grateful.
For the rest, though, she wondered if she would ever be able to forgive him. She hoped she wouldn't remember him long enough to find out. — Sarah Addison Allen

Given the dark fears we feel when we experience loss, nothing is more generous and loving than the willingness to embrace grief in order to forgive. To be forgiven is to be loved. — Brene Brown

In order to turn around and do something better, we must first escape the vicious circle of self-righteousness and denial. And that calls for the humility to say "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." — Desmond Tutu

What did I learn and internalize from the experience? That our challenge is to let go of our old stories that defined us and forgive others and ourselves. Dropping those stories will free us from the burdens and restrictions that have prevented us from writing new ones. The spirits - our loved ones on the other side, our angels or guides, Fred - want us to do that in order to heal the deep rift in the world, so our future includes an earth that is healed and whole and tended to by her inhabitants with respect. Their message is to love without conditions, to show compassion, to be as authentic as we are able, to strip away the lies we've told ourselves, and to remember who we really are and who we came here to be. We are spiritual beings constrained by our human experience, defined at this time in history by a distorted lens of perception and perspective, in a state of spiritual amnesia and asleep at the wheel of life. It's time to wake up. — Colette Baron Reid

Remembrance of Jesus' passion will heal your soul of resentment, by making it ashamed of itself when it remembers the patience of the Lord. Some people have wearied themselves and suffered for a long time in order to extract forgiveness. By far the best course, however, is to forget the offences, since the Lord says: "Forgive at once and you will be forgiven in generous measure." (cf. Luke 6:37-38) — John Climacus

In the end, you have to forgive in order to heal and move forward with your life. For people who hurt you very deeply, you don't have to forgive them for their sake but for your sake, so that you can move forward and have a healthier and happier life. — Dominique Moceanu

He was not prepared to deal with my mistake, thought Jane, and he did not understand the suffering his response would cause me. He is innocent of wrong -doing, and so am I. We shall forgive each other and go on.
It was a good decision, and Jane was proud of it. The trouble was, she couldn't carry it out. Those few seconds in which parts of her mind came to a halt were not trivial in their effect on her. There was trauma, loss, change; she was not now the same being that she had been before. parts of her had died. Parts of her had become confused, out of order ...
She discovered, as many a living being had discovered, that rational decisions are far more easily made than carried out. — Orson Scott Card

In reality of everyday occurrences I've had to submit to people in order not to lose them. It's less the submission that bothers me, I guess, than how it makes my life miserable. And what happens if I can't forgive myself for making that choice? And what if, in order to keep on living, I have to continue to accept myself? What am I supposed to do? Conclusion: It'd be best if I'm destroyed. The best thing is for me just to vanish. — Natsuo Kirino

In marriage, we might say, we lose our independence in order to gain new freedom, so if we give ourselves to our God, our True Love, we will become more free than we can imagine. We will be free from fears, insecurity, and shame. We will be free to forgive, to love others, to face suffering in a way we could not before. — Timothy Keller

In seeking true peace some of us need to improve what has to be improved, confess what needs to be confessed, forgive what needs to be forgiven, and forget what should be be forgotten in order that serenity can come to us. — Jeffrey R. Holland

There is a saying that to understand is to forgive, but that is an error, so Papa used to say. You must forgive in order to understand. Until you forgive, you defend yourself against the possibility of understanding ... If you forgive, he would say, you may indeed still not understand, but you will be ready to understand, and that is the posture of grace. — Marilynne Robinson

You know, in my opinion, being ridiculous is sometimes even a good thing, and better than that: we can forgive one another more quickly, and acquire humility more quickly; after all, we can't understand everything at once, we can't begin directly from perfection! In order to achieve perfection, we must first of all fail to understand a great many things! And if we understand too quickly, we may not understand very well. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

In order to forgive, you have to remember how you were hurt in the first place. And that in order to forget, you had to accept your role in what had happened. — Jodi Picoult

I am in love-desire, and unless you take me now, I shall fall in pieces...but I do not think I can be moderate. Forgive me, forgive me...'

But her breathing was as changed now as his, and all order retreating before the strength of the living force beating about them. She pressed the latch, and set the last door to lie open.
'Khush geldi: welcome: thou art come happily,' she said gently, and let him come, where he belonged, within her gouvernance. — Dorothy Dunnett

There are techniques of Buddhism, such as meditation, that anyone can adopt. And, of course, there are Christian monks and nuns who already use Buddhist methods in order to develop their devotion, compassion, and ability to forgive. — Dalai Lama

~My father says there are more than twenty thousand turned out for the king. It seems that most men think that we will win, that York will be captured and killed, though the king in his tender heart has said he will forgive them all if they will surrender.
~Will there be another battle?
~Unless York decides he cannot face the king in person. It is one sort of sin to kill your friends and cousins, quite another to order your bowmen to fire at the king's banner and him beneath it. What if the king is killed in battle? What if York brings his broadsword down on the king's sanctified head? — Philippa Gregory

I have learned through repeated experiences that in order to heal, I MUST forgive. The forgiveness is not for the transgressor. The forgiveness is for ME. — Sharon E. Rainey

Catching myself in the moment. Then I remember facts are just facts, circumstances are merely circumstances. Whenever I can catch myself having a negative thought, I do Self I-Dentity through Ho'oponopono by saying to myself the phrases "I love you," "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you" in any particular order. — Graham Shiels

In order to love others, we have to love ourselves deeply enough, to be able to forgive ourselves and become responsible, with self respect and dignity. This self love is Divine Love, for oneself and for all. — Gian Kumar

I'm not tormenting myself. I learned long ago that in order to heal my wounds, I must have the courage to face up to them. I also learned to forgive myself and correct my mistakes. However, ever since I started out on this journey, I've had a sense of being confronted by a vast jigsaw puzzle, the pieces of which are only just beginning to revealed, pieces of love, hate, sacrifice, forgiveness, joy, and grief. — Paulo Coelho

Some people had too much power and too much cruelty to live. Some people were too horrible, no matter if you loved them; no matter that you had to make yourself terrible too, in order to stop them. Some things just had to be done.
I forgive myself, thought Fire. Today, I forgive myself. — Kristin Cashore

I'm beginning to get the feeling that confession is what we need in order to forgive ourselves. — Shane Kuhn

In order to forgive an offender,
we have first to forgive ourselves,
then we can forgive them.
In this way we are not
helpless victims anymore,
we regain our power,
acting from our peaceful place
of power. — Human Angels

Allah wanted the people who have made sins to turn from their sins and make up for them in order to be near to Allah through gaining His satisfaction, for He has promised to accept their repentance and forgive the sinner — Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah

Forgiving isn't forgetting. At the core of forgiveness is the understanding that the hatred and bitterness we hold onto destroys us.
Forgiving isn't meekness. It is letting go of the past, living in the present, and paving the way for the future.
In order to forgive, we must first grieve for what could've been and what never was. To forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves.
Perhaps, that is the hardest forgiveness of all."

Excerpt From: Kelly, Kathryn. "Misbehavior." iBooks.
This material may be protected by copyright. — Kathryn Kelly

These are the things which might conceivably and truly make men forgive their enemies. We can only turn hate to love by understanding what are the things that men have loved; nor is it necessary to ask men to hate their loves in order to love one another. Just as two grocers are most likely to be reconciled when they remember for a moment that they are two fathers, so two nationals are most likely to be reconciled when they remember (if only for a moment) that they are two patriots. — G.K. Chesterton

If we can't forget, how can we forgive? I believe that forgiving can't be done by willpower alone. I can will myself to write out my own memories and feelings. I can will myself to imagine onto the page how someone else may have felt. I can will myself to research someone else's life in order to better understand what happened. But I don't think I can forgive by simply willing to forgive. Forgiving happens to us when our hearts are ready. Sometimes it takes the form of working on our own story until quietly, often surprisingly, we simply let go of the hurt. Sometimes forgiving makes it possible to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship and begin again. Sometimes it means letting a relationship go. We can't forgive through willpower. What we can do is work toward readiness of heart. Writing as a spiritual practice can be that kind of work.
When our heart is ready, we often don't even know it until forgiveness happens within us. It is a gift. — Pat Schneider

I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to get an advantage over the people they forgive. And their instant forgiving only makes things worse ... People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive ... There is a right moment to forgive. We cannot predict it in advance; we can only get ourselves ready for it when it arrives ... Don't do it quickly, but don't wait too long. — Lewis B. Smedes

Conflict cannot be resolved without solid forgiveness between the conflicting parties. It is essential for the parties in conflict to forgive each other in order to come with a long lasting solution to conflict. According to the teachings of the bible, reconciliation should be soldered by solid forgiveness. A good example of solid forgiveness in the bible is that of Joseph and his brothers. He forgave his brothers and they reconciled even after they sold him to Egypt as a slave. There are other people in the bible who established a concrete reconciliation with God by seeking solid forgiveness. Similarly, Christians are supposed to seek solid forgiveness from God and fellow human beings whenever there is conflict as way of ensuring peace relationship with our neighbors. — Austin V. Songer

This is the difference between someone whose heart is purified and sound and one whose heart is impure and corrupt. Impure people oppress, and the pure-hearted not only forgive their oppressors, but elevate them in status and character. In order to purify ourselves, we must begin to recognize this truth. This is what this book is all about - a book of self-purification and a manual of liberation. If we work on our hearts, if we actually implement what is suggested here, we'll begin to see changes in our lives, our condition, our society, and even within our own family dynamics. It is a blessing that we have this science of purification, a blessing that this teaching exists in the world today. What remains is for us to take these teachings seriously.
Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart. Translation and Commentary of Imam Mawlud's Matharat al-Qulub. Schaykh Hamza Yusuf. E-Book S. 10 — Hamza Yusuf

The question was, could he forgive the past in order to have a future with her? Any future? — Nicola Sinclair

Ultimately, we forgive others in order to free ourselves. — Sharon Salzberg

She dared to cry? On this day of all days? I was the one who would be married at sunset, and I hadn't let myself cry in five years.
There was ice in my lungs and in my heart. I was floating. I was swept away, and out of the cold I spoke to her in a voice as soft as snow, the gentle and obedient voice I had used to consent to every order that Father and Aunt Telomache ever gave me, every order that they would never give Astraia because they actually loved her.
"You know, that Rhyme is a lie that Aunt Telomache only told you because you weren't strong enough to bear the truth."
I had thought the words so often, they felt like nothing in my mouth, like no more than a breath of air, and as easily as breathing I went on.
"The truth is, Mother died because of you, and now I have to die for your sake, too. And neither one of us will ever forgive you."
Then I shoved her aside and strode out of the room. — Rosamund Hodge

In order to forgive reason for the evil it has wrought on the majority of men, we must imagine for ourselves what man would be without his reason. 'Tis a necessary evil. — Nicolas Chamfort

I honestly think in order to be a writer, you have to learn to be reverent. If not, why are you writing? Why are you here? Let's think of reverence as awe, as presence in and openness to the world. The alternative is that we stultify, we shut down. Think of those times when you've read prose or poetry that is presented in such a way that you have a fleeting sense of being startled by beauty or insight, by a glimpse into someone's soul. All of a sudden everything seems to fit together or at least to have some meaning for a moment. This is our goal as writers, I think; to help others have this sense of
please forgive me
wonder, of seeing things anew, things that can catch us off guard, that break in on our small, bordered worlds. — Anne Lamott