I'm Not Pregnant Quotes & Sayings

Some women work while they are pregnant, but not me. That was a choice I had made. That's when I took a break. Men can work at whatever stage they are; whether they turn daddy, they still have their own thing. But women can't afford that because by being mothers, they have to be there for their kids. — Madhuri Dixit

Some professional writers write everyday no matter what and perhaps that's the way it should be done, but it's not the way I do it. If I'm not pregnant with words and I'm not in labor with them, I don't even try to bring them forth because they won't be any good anyway. Once I'm ready to deliver, it's like being pregnant. I've got to find a typewriter or a piece of paper. The only words that have ever had any possible value to others seem to have been those words that just had to come out. — Marianne Williamson

Karen shuts the back door and turns to me. "You know I trust you, but please ... "
"Don't get pregnant," I interrupt. "I know, I know. You've been saying that every time you leave for the past two years. I'm not getting pregnant, Mom. Only terribly high and cracked out."
She laughs and hugs me. "Good girl. And wasted. Don't forget to get really wasted. — Colleen Hoover

I did a lot of work with myself over the course of being pregnant and the first few months of being pregnant. It's nice, the pace of being pregnant; it gives you a long time to not just germinate a baby but germinate the mother that you're gonna be. — Ani DiFranco

You want to go out to dinner sometime?
Sorry, no. I'm married, not hungry, infected with seven unknown diseases, gay, pregnant with lizards and clinically dead. — Warren Ellis

Why are you crying?'
'How can I possibly look good to you? I'm pregnant! I'm really, really pregnant!'
'Of course you are. Why are you crying?'
'Because I'm going to Hawai'i!'
'Yes, you're going to Hawai'i. Come on now, pull yourself together.'
I kept crying.
Darren looked frantic. He stepped back and fumbled for his roguish smirk. 'So, is this a hormone thing?'
'No, it's not a hormone thing! I'm old, Darren! I'm old and pregnant, and I'm going to Hawai'i. Can you understand how that makes me feel?'
He could not.
How could I possibly expect my husband to understand all the bizarre things that happen to a woman in spirit and flesh when a friendly alien takes over her body? He still couldn't figure out why Laurie and I wanted to fly all the way to Hawai'i just to spend a week lounging around the pool, comparing underarm flab, when we could stay home and have the same conversation over the phone for a lot less money. — Robin Jones Gunn

Harry and told him where we were headed. He frowned. "You sure you want to do this, in your condition?" "I'm pregnant, McGlade, not helpless." "What about your precognition disease?" "It's preeclampsia." "For some reason I knew you were going to say that." I sighed. "That's precognition." "I thought you said it was preeclampsia." "It is. You're the one with precognition if you knew what I was going to say." He shrugged. "I probably picked it up from some call girl. I should have seen that coming." It — J.A. Konrath

I never feel comfortable modeling when I'm pregnant, even if I'm not showing. — Kylie Bax

To put it mildly, I'm not crazy about the implication that pregnant women are incapable of deciding for themselves. — Emily Oster

Were I asked to focus the New Testament message in three words, my proposal would be ADOPTION THROUGH PROPITIATION, and I do not expect ever to meet a richer or more pregnant summary of the gospel than that. — J.I. Packer

Madam Li nods. She reaches over the table for Chinatsu's hand. It would look like a gesture of sympathy for a friend. Chinatsu uncurls her right hand and allows the money to be retrieved. The initial wedge of money that Madam Li takes now is more than she ever takes later on. It almost entirely depletes the stash of money she's been saving for years. The woman's magician-eyes are framed by the steam snaking from their tea. Cat-green, they are striking and marred by yellow jelly spots in the whites.
'You no drink you no eat. What you, pregnant?'
'Would I be here?'
Madam Li screws her chin back into her neck. The chair creaks as she sits back, spine straight. 'Well, if you not going eat drink speaking truth, fuck off.'
Chinatsu's eyebrows flick up. She bursts out laughing. — Sarah Dobbs

The Talmud, the compilation of discussions of Jewish Law which I have quoted earlier in this book, gives examples of bad prayers, improper prayers, which one should not utter. If a woman is pregnant, neither she nor her husband should pray, "May God grant that this child be a boy" (nor, for that matter, may they pray that it be a girl). The sex of the child is determined at conception, and God cannot be invoked to change it. Again, if a man sees a fire engine racing toward his neighborhood, he should not pray, "Please God, don't let the fire be in my house." Not only is it mean-spirited to pray that someone else's house burn instead of yours, but it is futile. A certain house is already on fire; the most sincere or articulate of prayers will not affect the question of which house it is. — Harold S. Kushner

On the Hugh Grant romance rumours: We're not dating and I'm not pregnant. We have not kissed or touched. We have not fought and broken up. — Sandra Bullock

So, what's the big emergency, princess? You and ice-boy look fine to me, and the Nevernever isn't crumbling around us. What's going on?"
"I'm pregnant, Puck," I said quietly, and watched his eyebrows shoot into his hair. Briefly,I explained what had happened at Elysium, the oracle's mysterious appearance and invitation, and Grimalkin's instruction to meet him at the Wishing Tree. By the time I was done, Puck was still staring at me openmouthed, struck mute for maybe the second time in his life, and I would've laughed if the situation wasn't so serious.
"Oh," he finally managed. "That's, uh ... Wow. That's not something you hear every day. Not exactly what I was expecting, though the entire prophecy thing does get old after a while." He shook himself, seeming to regain his composure, and glanced at Ash. "So, it's the ever so popular Firstborn Child of Doom prophecy, huh, ice-boy? How very cliche. Why can't it be the third nephew twice removed who's fated to destroy the world? — Julie Kagawa

I went home and tried to sleep, but couldn't, so I stared up at the moon, watching how it's trailing edge faded into darkness, so close to being full, but not quite there. A pregnant moon, Grandma called it. Full almost to bursting, and ready to give birth to something unthinkable. — Neal Shusterman

I'm not this unusual," she said. "It's just my hair."
She looked at Bobby and she looked at me, with an expression at once disdainful and imploring. She was forty, pregnant, and in love with two men at once. I think what she could not abide was the zaniness of her life. Like many of us, she had grown up expecting romance to bestow dignity and direction.
"Be brave," I told her. Bobby and I stood before her, confused and homeless and lacking a plan, beset by an aching but chaotic love that refused to focus in the conventional way. Traffic roared behind us. A truck honked its hydraulic horn, a monstrous, oceanic sound. Clare shook her head, not in denial but in exasperation. Because she could think of nothing else to do, she began walking again, more slowly, toward the row of trees. — Michael Cunningham

...I'm not crazy about the implication that pregnant women are incapable of deciding for themselves- that you have to manipulate our belief so we do the right thing. That feels, again, like pregnant women are not given any more credit than children would be in making important decisions. — Emily Oster

When pregnant women have cravings, it's "adorable" and when they put on twenty or thirty pounds in nine months, it's "healthy." Yet when I have cravings and put on thirty pounds, I'm considered a "fat tub of turds." I'm not sure, but I believe this is sexism. Everyone wants to rub a pregnant women's belly, but when I ask people to rub my belly, I get kicked out of Dave & Buster's. It's just not fair. I put on more weight than Jeannie during each of her pregnancies. I justify it by thinking, "Well, just another thing I'm better at than she is. — Jim Gaffigan

I answered that I was sure, and he asked me again, and this time I understood his concern. 'I'm not embarrassed!' I said, or at least tried to say, before recalling that embarazada means something entirely different to 'embarrassed' and that I'd just wailed at the doctor that I wasn't pregnant, something his medical training had presumably made evident to him. — Peter Allison

I didn't know what to say to that. I just stared at him. He was right, of course he was right, but ... "I can't do my job like this."
"No," he said, "you can't."
Then suddenly I felt the first tear slide down my face.
"No crying," he said.
Another tear joined the first. I fought not to wipe at them.
His hand dropped to his side and he took a deep breath. "That's not fair. Don't cry."
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to, but you're right, I think. I'm pregnant, damn it, not crippled. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I'm pregnant! " (Cassidy)
"Your face isn't, and quite frankly, you need to be put in yiur place. You are no longer a child and playing petty games such as these should get you punished." (Ashling)
"My father is the mayor of this town!" (Cassidy)
"Run along to Daddy then, but don't expect me to frighten me when you're too much of a coward to fight your own battles against an opponent who will not cower before your nonexistent wrath." (Ashling) — Rosetta M. Overman

I'm definitely not getting married. In this business, you're either getting married or they want you to be pregnant. I'm not getting married until I'm forty. If ever. — Zac Efron

Infertility costs an average of about $16-20,000 per procedure, and you don't always get pregnant the first time. I had to go through it seven times. And adoption and surrogacy are not covered through insurance companies. — Cindy Margolis

My father was having an affair with a 16-year-old when Mum was pregnant with me. She found out when I was three weeks old and left, not surprisingly. — Carol Vorderman

You start doing your research and realizing that the fertility rate for women drops considerably. And you're like, "Oh my God, now I want to get pregnant, and now it's a crazy time where I might not be able to get pregnant because I'm getting older and my eggs are aging and my uterus isn't as fertile as it used to be and my loins are not where they used to be." — Staceyann Chin

My reflection in the mirror shows me pink and puffy. I thought pregnant women were to supposed to glow. I am not glowing. — Audrey Niffenegger

Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of. — Sara Gruen

Something that a lot of people don't know is that I have a five-month old son. Any free time I have now is spent with him. A few people suggested to me that I should try and hide the fact that I have a son because it might damage my career. But as far as I'm concerned, to hide it would suggest that I was ashamed and I'm not ashamed. I love my son. Me and his mom aren't in a relationship. We're actually best friends. We've known each other for years and years and never ever wanted to be in a relationship with each other. But the one time we... got physical, she fell pregnant. Of course, we did a lot of talking to decide how we were gonna handle the situation. We weren't about to start a relationship for the sake of the child 'cos that's not what either of us wanted. So I just said, "You be mom, I'll be dad and let's just raise a son." And though we're not together, that's exactly what we're doing. — Ne-Yo

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck — George Carlin

As I grew into womanhood my confusion at the world became more apparent. I was taking comfort in behaviours that were familiar, not bathing, wearing multiple layers of clothes and, like my mother, I was bingeing on food. Of course I was still very much a lonely unsupported child myself when I got pregnant - one who had never been nurtured or mothered and as such I struggled with the responsibilities of parenthood. — Jane Hersey

Damn," he said. "Have you been stuffing yourself with desserts just to prolong the suspense?"
She failed to note the humor in his tone. All she gathered from his remark was that he still didn't believe she was pregnant.
"You've found me out at last," she snapped. "I'm merely giving birth to a pastry."
"That's not funny,Becca."
"Neither was your absurd remark. Do you really think I like that my body is going to be disfigured? I hate it, but not as much as I hate you! — Johanna Lindsey

Are you allowed to get pregnant yet?"
I laugh. "Nope. Not this weekend. Besides, you have to kiss a girl before you can knock her up."
"Did someone not have sex education when she was homeschooled?" he says. "Because I could totally knock you up without ever kissing you. Want me to show you? — Colleen Hoover

It showed nothing. I'm not pregnant. — Mikael Samuelsson

For her teenage daughter, though, those years didn't go so well. She had always told Stry, "I'm not going to turn out like you," and then that's exactly how she did turn out: pregnant at sixteen, a mother at seventeen, living with her own baby boy in a group home for teenage mothers, just like the one she had lived in as a baby girl sixteen years earlier. — Paul Tough

How even I, "a dutiful daughter," as Simone de Beauvoir once described her young self, was living a life so different from my mother's; when she was my age she was married, about to become pregnant with me. I was beginning to think that this habit of mind - constantly tracing myself back to my mother, to where she'd begun and left off - wasn't idiosyncratic, but something that many if not most women did, a feature of the female experience. — Kate Bolick

I want a cigarette. I want a cigarette. I want to kill the woman my husband loves. This is all her fault. I got pregnant to secure the man that I had already married. A woman shouldn't have to do that. She should feel safe in her marriage. That's why you got married - to feel safe from all the men who were trying to siphon your soul. I'd yielded my soul to Caleb willingly. Offered it up like a sacrificial lamb. Now, I was not only going to have to compete with the memory of another woman, but a shriveled up baby. He was already staring into her eyes like he could see the Grand Canyon tucked away in her irises. I — Tarryn Fisher

The elevator came to a jerking halt and the doors slid open. A young vault manager was waiting for us. She looked up and then froze in fear, dropping the papers she was holding. I don't remember much else about her, but I'll never forget her scream. It wasn't even particularly memorable. Like most, it started like a high-pitched yelp and ended in hysterical sobbing. The timing was what threw me off. During most robberies, it takes a few seconds before someone lets out a yelp. Sometimes there is even this strange pregnant silence through the whole thing because everyone's too shocked and scared to move. But not this time. As soon as the elevator doors opened up, the woman started screaming.

I grabbed her by the hair and threw her into one of the teller windows. — Roger Hobbs

I have cravings all the time, even when I'm not pregnant. — Laila Ali

I like the story about me being pregnant. It was in some Australian magazine, on the front page! I was like, 'Wow, that's just [insane].' And it's not even ironic. I don't even think the article [tried to justify it]; it was just a headline. The article was just like, nothing. — Robert Pattinson

Rebecca let out a gusty sigh. "Pregnant, I tell you. I'm definitely getting pregnant." Her mother responded by passing over the tearful little guy. Not a bad idea, Jane decided. Birth control by baby brother — Christie Ridgway

We can't get through - it'll take ages. . . ." Harry looked up at the tunnel ceiling. Huge cracks had appeared in it. He had never tried to break apart anything as large as these rocks by magic, and now didn't seem a good moment to try - what if the whole tunnel caved in? There was another thud and another "ow!" from behind the rocks. They were wasting time. Ginny had already been in the Chamber of Secrets for hours. . . . Harry knew there was only one thing to do. "Wait there," he called to Ron. "Wait with Lockhart. I'll go on. . . . If I'm not back in an hour . . ." There was a very pregnant pause. "I'll try and shift some of this rock," said Ron, who seemed to be trying to keep his voice steady. "So you can - can get back through. And, Harry - " "See you in a bit," said Harry, trying to inject some confidence into his — J.K. Rowling

However, during our marriage there have been periods when she has become rather lazy. Jeannie describes these periods as "pregnancy." My view has always been, pregnant or not, that does not mean she can't move some cinder blocks. We are a team, and I have to take a second nap today. Of course, pregnant women are not lazy. In fact, they are the opposite of lazy. Whatever they are doing, they are also always growing a baby. Even when they are sleeping, they are growing a baby. They are constantly multitasking. I'm often not even tasking. — Jim Gaffigan

The scene unfolded before him as though he were a ghost.
His mother stood on the raised stump, her body tied to the tall stake behind her. A pile of wood encircled her feet. Only a small crowd had gathered in the courtyard, despite his father's commands that all should attend. Alasdair sobbed at her feet, calling out to her. The young Alasdair climbed on the pile and clutched her flowing gown. She had been dressed in her finest, not stripped down to her chemise like the handmaid who stood tied to a post beside her. His father had always liked a display. Alasdair's hands reached and passed over his mother's large pregnant belly. With that, she sobbed, too. "Oh, Ali, be good for Momma. I'll see you in the pearly white heaven that God has promised us. Be steadfast, son. Trust your heart."
"Light it," his father ordered. — Jean M. Grant

Yeah, I'm listenin'," Morganith answered, "and Arda once told me pregnant Alteri women can see what might come to pass, not what will come to pass. What they see is just what people chose to do of their own shitty free will, not what they were forced to do by some gods. — Ash Gray

I'm at the stage in my pregnancy where I don't feel pregnant. You feel very, 'Oh yeah, I'm pregnant,' because you're over the morning sickness and it's not too uncomfortable. It's fun. — Kelly Stables

I can't protect you from mean people, because they're everywhere, but I would be nice. That much, I can promise."
"Fine," she said. "If I"m pregnant, you can marry me." He folded his harms and contemplated her motionlessly from the dark. Then said,
"Not that nice. — Judith Ivory

Of months, he began encouraging people to talk to me, even foes and former girlfriends. Nor did he try to put anything off-limits. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, such as getting my girlfriend pregnant when I was twenty-three and the way I handled that," he said. "But I don't have any — Walter Isaacson

sometimes I feel my heart fall to vague depths between words
there are such spaces that I can't help but feel my heart fall between the pregnant pause of all you will not say
and all i can not ask — Jewel

I'm going to kill the president.
I promise. I surrender. I'm sorry.
I'm gay. I'm pregnant. I'm dying.
I'm not your father. You're fired.
Fire. I forgot your birthday.
You will have to lose the leg.
She was asking for it.
It ran right under the car.
It looked like a gun. It's contagious.
She's with God now.
Help me. I don't have a problem.
I've swallowed a bottle of aspirin.
I'm a doctor. I'm leaving you.
I love you. Fuck you. I'll change. — Ben Lerner

The moon carries the masks of meningitis into bedrooms, fills the wombs of pregnant women with cold water and, as soon as I'm not careful, throws handfuls of grass on my shoulders. — Federico Garcia Lorca

I'm not being like, 'Hey, everybody, I'm pregnant!' I'm not that girl. — Christina Aguilera

Yeah. All that is called dating." She waves a finger in the air. "You're dating Boyd."

I think I'm going to throw up.

"You might even be engaged," Everly continues. "For all you know... Hey, are you pregnant by any chance? Remember how Sophie didn't know she was pregnant? That might be a thing you can add to your collection of things you don't know are happening." Her eyes light up and she places a hand on her chest. "Can I be the godmother?"

"I'm not pregnant." But I do feel sick. — Jana Aston

I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?" — Jim Gaffigan

Alaine frowned at him for a moment. "Are you asking me if I need feminine products?"
"I'm telling you to plan ahead," Nova said with a deliberate look at her. "Anything you think you're gonna need, I'll pick up."
"Wow"-Alaine pulled back in surprise- "I'm sort of impressed right now. You ARE a progressive gangster."
"Just text me," Nova said as he threw up his hand. "I'm leaving."
"She's not going to need feminine products," Tino said with a bark of laughter. "I guarantee you she's pregnant after last night. — Kele Moon

In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile.
i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant."
"you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified.
"No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding? — Carrie Jones

Jim looked into her tear-washed eyes and saw her anguish. For a moment it was as though he shared a measure of the bitter brew - and felt poisoned. She smiled sadly. "Everything was done properly. The right equipment, a sterile environment. Just like you were saying to Dynah. But it wasn't all right, Jim." "What do you mean?" "I couldn't have children. When Doug and I got married, I wanted a baby more than anything, maybe to atone for what I'd done. Or just because it was always a part of what I wanted. Every time I got pregnant, I miscarried. My gynecologist said it was because of the abortion. Dynah was a miracle." Tears slipped down her cheeks. "You told my daughter everything would be fine in a few days. Maybe, God willing, that's the way it'll be. But you know what, Jim? There's more to it than the physical part. It's been twenty-nine years, and I'm still not over it. — Francine Rivers

She got out and shut the door without looking back, picking her way through the snow to the black wooden door in the college wall. At least she hadn't told him not to follow. He watched as she carefully brushed the snow off the latch with her rolled umbrella before touching it with her suede gloves. She left the door half open behind her. He followed. When he reached the door he saw she had paused on the garden path leading to her hall and was doing something in the snow with the tip of her umbrella. Still not looking back, she moved on without waiting for him. When he reached the spot he saw that she had written 'I love you' in the snow. It was that night, he believed ever after, that she became pregnant. — Alan Judd

I, for one, thought this would be something good for Settlers to know from the get-go. With so much risk, why did SA feel the consequences of exposure were something to be concealed until there was not choice but to drag people like Monica and me into their secret beige meeting room and scare us half to death after we'd screwed up? It made about as much sense as extremely conservative parents not telling their daughters about the consequences of sex until after they were already pregnant. Shutting the barn door after the horse was loose, much?
But then, I was beginning to think SA wasn't nearly as smart as they believed themselves to be. Our remaining undiscovered for so long seemed due more to humanity's tendency not to see things they didn't want to see, rather than cleverness on the part of Settler's Affairs. — Stacey Jay

You don't know for sure if I'm pregnant."
"Do not play games, Raven. Sometimes your rebellious ways grow tedious. I know you are with child. You cannot hide such a thing from me. Mikhail knows it to be true, and he knows he cannot allow your dangerous involvement in this mission to continue with you in such a condition."
Raven flung out her ebony hair. "No one allows me to do anything. I decide. I was born and raised human, Gregori," she pointed out. "I can only be myself. Byron is my friend, and he is in desperate trouble. I intend to help him."
"If your lifemate is so enthralled with you that he would allow you such foolishness," Gregori replied softly, menacingly, "then I can do no other than protect you myself."
"Don't you talk about Mikhail like that!" Raven was furious.
You really know how to stir up the hornets' nest with the women, do you not? Mikhail demanded, even though he understood Gregori completely and felt him justified. — Christine Feehan

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. — Homer

What did your mom say?"
"She said I better not be pregnant."
Janie snorts. "What the hell is wrong with our parents, anyway? Wait
you're not, are you?"
"Of course not! Sheesh, Janers! I may not have gotten the best grades in school, but I'm not stupid. You know I'm on the Pill. And his Jimmy doesn't get near me without a raincoat, yadamean? Ain't nothin' getting through my little fortress! — Lisa McMann

us. I do not want to be around our pregnant friends, and I become hysterical when someone announces a pregnancy. And Pete doesn't understand it. To try to explain it to him, I used this analogy: We are saving for a house, but we can't afford it. I tell him, "Picture it like this: Even after all this time, we still can't afford the house we want. How would you feel if, while we're scrimping and saving, all of a sudden every one of our friends was handed a house for free? Absolutely free. Wouldn't that feel unfair? — Alice D. Domar

I like trying to get pregnant. I'm not so sure about childbirth. — George Eliot

If I order an appetizer is there any chance I can get it quickly? I'm two and a half months pregnant with a Bradford," she said, not mentioning it was twins because the thought was actually starting to scare her and she hadn't told Trevor yet and didn't want him finding out this way. She just hoped the woman understood because she was close to crying. Judging by the slightly startled look on the woman's face she did.
The waitress shook her head. "No, you're right. You probably won't be able to survive the wait," she said, sending Trevor, who was still trying to get the woman to leave, a glare. "I'll bring you out a bowl of clam chowder followed by chicken fingers, they'll only take a few minutes to prepare. Will that work?"
Zoe nodded solemnly. "You are my hero."
"I'll put a rush on your food," the waitress said before walking away.
"Bless you," Zoe said, fighting the urge to kiss the woman. — R.L. Mathewson

Sylvie's sort of pregnant. Well not sort of. She is. Pregnant. Actually pregnant with a baby.'
'Oh Dexter! Do you know the father? I'm kidding! Congratulations, Dex. God, aren't you meant to space your bombshells out a bit. Not just drop them all at once?'
She held his face in both hands, looked at it.
'You're getting married?-'
'Yes'
-'And you're going to be a father?'
'I know! Fuck me a father!'
'Is that allowed? I mean will they let you?'
'Apparently'
'I think it's wonderful. Fucking hell, Dexter, I turn my back for one minute ... !'
She hugged him once again her arms high round his neck. She felt drunk, full of affection and a certain sadness too, as if something was coming to an end. She wanted to say something along these lines, but thought it best to do this through a joke.
'Of course you've destroyed any chance I had of future happiness, but I'm delighted for you, really. — David Nicholls

I'm freestylin just on the microphone
On the BBC, on the BBC
I'm just freestylin on the BBC
Um British Broadcasting Company
i'm just basically making this shit up as I go along
Basically just free
Just basically from the top of my dome
Sometimes it's not so good
My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all the lady listeners pregnant — Flight Of The Conchords

I would say my faith has become strengthened every time I have faced what I considered to be a trial, and there is no greater trial than being 14 and pregnant and not even knowing what it is. — Oprah Winfrey

As if he could read her mind, Chad chose that very moment to look up from his What to Expect book.
"Says here some women get really horny when they're pregnant," he said, waggling his eyebrows with a shit-eating grin.
"It does not!" Jennie said, feeling two hot spots form on her cheeks.
How does he know?
"Does too. They don't phrase it that way, but that's essentially it. Anything you need help with, Jennie? Any cravings I can take care of for you?" Chad laughed as he leaned in suggestively.
"Gah! — Lori Ryan

When you're pregnant you just want to be comfortable - but I wear more or less the same as I do when I'm not pregnant: pregnancy denim with normal tops and flat shoes. But when the belly starts to really stick out, I'll want the floaty dresses! — Alessandra Ambrosio

I really like being pregnant. Not that there aren't things I don't love, but when I think about what my body is doing - creating a child - it just blows my mind. I'm in awe of the process and science. — Emily Deschanel

I am not pregnant, but I've had three kids, and there is a 'bump.' From now on, ladies, I will have a 'bump' and it will be my 'baby bump,' and let's just all settle in and get used to it. It's not going anywhere. — Jennifer Garner

Dad, I need to talk to you about something."
He peeked over his shoulder. "I thought you'd already googled all that period and birds-and-bees stuff."
"Dad ... "
He turned around, suddenly concerned. "Are you pregnant? Are you gay? I'd rather you were gay than pregnant. Unless you're pregnant. Then we'll deal. Whatever it is, we'll deal. Are you pregnant?"
"No," Cath said.
"Okay ... " He leaned back against the sink and began tapping wet fingers against the counter.
"I'm not gay either."
"What does that leave?"
"Um ... school, I guess."
"You're having problems in school? I don't believe that. Are you sure you're not pregnant? — Rainbow Rowell

I'm not even sure I want kids, by the way, even if I'm not the one who has to be pregnant. It seems too risky. I mean, what if you end up with a kid that's just plain bad? Or stupid? It's not like you can give it away or put it in a garage sale or something. You're pretty much stuck with it for a long time.
I know now they have all these tests they can do so you can find out if your kid has three arms or is retarded or whatever, but you can't test for everything. You can't test for crazy, for example, or for bad taste in music and clothes and stuff. You can't know if your kid is going to be someone you would actually want to have hanging around. You just have to take your chances. That seems like a pretty big gamble to me. — Michael Thomas Ford

I did not work out while I was pregnant. I felt like I was having symptoms of a heart attack every time I worked out, so I enjoyed eating like a third grader and gained 55 pounds! — Diane Farr

I'm here to tell you I do [have a baby bump]. I am not pregnant, but I have had three kids and there is a bump. — Jennifer Garner

I'm late."

He blinked and glanced instinctively at his wrist, where he usually wore his watch.

Despite her anxiety, Cali snickered. "Not late like that. My period is late."

He blinked again, but was otherwise frozen in place. His expression was unreadable and it made Cali's heart sink a little. — Zannie Adams

I am pregnant with song. My body aches but do not betray me. I will sing songs and hide them away. I will tear them into bits and throw them in the street. The streets of my city are full of dark holes. I will hide my songs in the holes of the streets. — Sherwood Anderson

Is there a reason you are here?" he finally demanded.
With complete nonchalance she replied, "Well,I've brought my trunks. I do believe I'm moving in."
"The hell you are!"
"Nice of you to welcome me in your usual boorish manner" was all she said to that.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. It made not a jot of difference that he'd just gone to Norford and back this morning to bring her here himself. That had been his idea.Her coming here on her own was her idea,and it make him suspicious.
"Don't start your manipulations already," he warned her. "Answer my question."
"Why am I still here? Shall we start with the obvious reason? Because I really am pregnant and once my pregnancy starts to show,I do not want to be in a position to have people ask me who my husband is and not believe me when I tell them that it's you."
"And the not-so-obvious answer?"
"Because you make me so furious that I spite myself to spite you! — Johanna Lindsey

Women and our right to choose were going to be challenged with Ashcroft around. When Bush appointed Ashcroft, I went out and got me four abortions. I stocked up. The doctor was like, "Listen, you're not pregnant." I said, "Hey, just shut up and do your job. I'm exercising my right while I can, dammit. — Wanda Sykes

I find that when people laugh it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff. I'm not interested in other people thinking differently. I don't care. I'm just like yeast - I eat sugar and I shit alcohol. And there's a huge culture that goes with that. Alcohol creates massive shifts in world history, and it changes people's lives. People get pregnant because of alcohol. But the yeast doesn't give a fuck. The yeast isn't going, "I really want to help people loosen up and bring passion into Irish people's lives". — Louis C.K.

Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality. — Christine Feehan

I'm not a great pregnant woman. — Melissa McCarthy

I did not know there was any controversy. I don't get a lot of time to read the fan forums, etc. I was thrilled to have the opportunity to have more storylines. I was just so happy to step in and pick up some of the slack for Emily while she was pregnant. It was so important for Emily to concentrate on her health and the well-being of her baby. In the end ... she is a great mother and her baby is adorable. I did not realize there was any controversy. LOL! — Eva LaRue

I am not a pregnant working mother wronged. — Elizabeth Vargas

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, Hey, at least I'm not pregnant — Daniel Tosh

I gained fifty-six pounds when I was pregnant with him. Do you have any idea what it's like to look down and not be able to see your vagina?"
"Uh, no," I muttered.
"My ass had its own zip code. — Tara Sivec

Feel free to look around, but being as though there aren't any people eighteen or older here, stay off the bed. I'm not allowed to get pregnant this weekend. — Colleen Hoover

I quit smoking the day I found out I was pregnant, which was nine years ago. But I'll still smoke in a movie. I have other vices, you know, like potato chips and chardonnay - but not together. — Jean Smart

I am not a historian. I happen to think that the content of my mother's life - her myths, her superstitions, her prayers, the contents of her pantry, the smell of her kitchen, the song that escaped from her sometimes parched lips, her thoughtful repose and pregnant laughter - are all worthy of art. — August Wilson

Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I'm very active when I'm not pregnant, but I think fitness should be a natural part of your life, not something you have to force yourself to do. — Jessica Capshaw

I mean, there's a lot of other things I could do for money. I could sell autographed ECT machines or rhinestoned mood stabilizers or even Star Wars scented laxatives. But do I do that? Do I do a commercial on television to (attempt to) sell a medication while running around some random backyard with some rented golden retriever laughing and looking cured and totally amazed to be so worry-free while a voice comes on and says, "Reginol is not recommended for wayward fish or Libras with dementia. If you notice swelling in your femur or notice a subtle beam of backlight glowing northward from your anus or the anus of someone you went to school with, call your doctor immediately as this could be a symptom of hydrocephalus that could lead to roughhousing and misguided bloat. Reginol is not recommended for pregnant Nazis or yodelers over seventy. Reginol does not protect you from unpopularity or autism . . . " All — Carrie Fisher

Brendan suddenly 'came out' to me. In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone 'come out' to you is the 'pretending to be surprised' part. You want him to feel like what he's telling you is Big. It's like, if somebody tells you they're pregnant, you don't say, 'I did notice you've been eating like a hog lately.' Your gay friend has obviously made a big decision to say the words out loud. You don't want him to realize that everybody's known this since he was ten and he wanted to be Bert Lahr for Halloween. Not the Cowardly Lion, but Bert Lahr. 'Oh, my gosh, no waaaay?' You stall, trying to think of something more substantial to say. 'Is everyone, like, freaking out? What a ... wow. — Tina Fey

No, Kennedy's not pregnant with my child. At least - not that I know of."
A pillow comes flying at my head. — Emma Chase

I could not say exactly how Mrs. H managed to catch pregnant. Mayhap Mr. H fired a baby into her from Peru with a better gun than mine. Probably he came home and performed his husbandry and left again before the sun could surprise him at it. — Catherynne M Valente

I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, such as getting my girlfriend pregnant when I was 23 and the way I handled that. — Steve Jobs

I could not understand why Meryl Streep, for example, is allowed to work while pregnant and I'm not. — Robin Wright

My karma's the comma that puts you inside of a coma,
Hyphen, dot, dot, semi-colon, leave you semi-swollen.
Question mark, you pregnant?
Oh you're not? I love you, period. — Chino XL

The changes I saw in my body as a result of being pregnant now seem to pale in comparison to the changes I've seen in my personality as I have embraced motherhood. The ability to truly understand the pressures of motherhood cannot be understood unless you are a mother. You're not alone in this, Mom! Your value as a mother is unsurpassed. You haven't lost yourself; you've found who you were destined to become. You've been given lives to mold and an opportunity to prepare your children for the future. There is nothing "just a mom" about you. — Tracey Lanter Eyster

As time passed, I began to get depressed and cried a lot. It was not because of my pregnancy. Praise the Lord, I wasn't having any more morning sickness, and I remained in good health, but my emotions were taking a nosedive. In my present situation, I was so isolated, and so lonely, and when a woman is pregnant, she doesn't feel pretty any more. In fact, she often feels ugly and awkward. — Helen Goldie