Iconic John Mulaney Quotes & Sayings

You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor."
"But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer."
"Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer? — Rachel Caine

You want to know the truth about the poor in this country? They're not cool. They're not soulful. They're not honest. They're not the salt of the fucking earth. They're thick. They're myopic. They're violent. They're drunk most of the time. They like shit music. They wear shit clothes. They tell shit jokes. They're racist, most of them, and homophobic, the lot of them. They have tiny parameters of possibility and a minuscule spirit of enquiry or investigation. They would be better off staying in their little holes and fucking each other. And killing each other. — Simon Stephens

If you want to be liberated, if you choose to be what I am, then you've chosen freedom. You can do this. — Frederick Lenz

The goal of work is not to gain wealth and possessions, but to serve the common good and bring glory to God. — Richard J. Foster

Since the early beginning of history, India has been the Klondyke of the world — Virchand Gandhi

Charge less, but charge. Otherwise, you will not be taken seriously, and you do your fellow artists no favours if you undercut the market. — Elizabeth Aston

Love was action. It came to you. It was not a choice. — Ann Patchett

Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. — Gordon B. Hinckley

It is only when you open your veins and bleed onto the page a little that you establish contact with your reader. If you do not believe in the characters or the story you are doing at that moment with all your mind, strength, and will, if you don't feel joy and excitement while writing it, then you're wasting good white paper, even if it sells, because there are other ways in which a writer can bring in the rent money besides writing bad or phony stories. — Paul Gallico

Beware of those who steer you away from your heart's true happiness. It would make them happy to see you steer yourself right next to them, sitting with both your hearts bitter. — Suzy Kassem

If this all sounds melodramatic, well that, too, isn't a bad metaphor for anxiety - as a kind of drama queen of the mind. If you have ever been friends with a drama queen you know how taxing it can be. To have one in your head is enough to make you comatose. — Daniel Smith