Humor Reading Poem Quotes & Sayings

The emotions I feel are no more meant to be shown in their unadulterated state than the inner organs by which we live. — Hannah Arendt

I'd walked to school like it was any other day. Like my heart wasn't breaking. Like my head wasn't reeling and my feet weren't weighted down by the sudden and tragic onset of clinical depression, making each breath a trial, each step a struggle. I totally needed a car. — Darynda Jones

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison. — Douglas Adams

All of us love applause, and so we should - it means that the listener likes us! — Emanuel Ax

The virtue of small government is that the mistakes are small as well ... If you want to leave a nation you think is corrupt, inefficient, militaristic, oppressive, repressive, but you don't want to move to Canada or France, what do you do? Well, the way is through secession, where you could stay home and be where you want to be. — Kirkpatrick Sale

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. — Steven Wright

My only hope for the world is in bringing the human mind into contact with divine revelation. — William E. Gladstone

We have built a very good company, and we're proud of it. We also recognize that much of it has been built on the shoulders of the thousands of employees and leaders who have worked here before us. — Jamie Dimon

There are lots of Joy Division songs that are so powerful when played live, some of which we did either never play or played very rarely. — Peter Hook

Beckett wrapped a huge arm around Kyle's waist and slammed her body into his. "Sometimes when girls advertise, they get what they're asking for." Kyle twisted so her back was to his chest. "Are you threatening or promising, big daddy?" Beckett spun her around and held her face to his so their lips almost touched. The crowd went wild with perceived sexual tension. "If I was threatening you, you'd already be beggin' for your real daddy," Beckett whispered — Debra Anastasia

You can't hear a whisper if you're constantly shouting. — Michael A. Stackpole

I was never religious. — Chaz Bono

It is only the expression of equivalence between different sorts of commodities which brings to view the specific character of value-creating labour, by actually reducing the different kinds of labour embedded in the different kinds of commodity to their common quality of being human labour in general. (142) — David Harvey

As the arrow, loosed from the bow by the hand of the practiced archer, does not rest till it has reached the mark, so men pass from God to God. He is the mark for which they have been created, and they do not rest till they find their rest in him. — Soren Kierkegaard

Diesel rocked back on his heels and grinned at the monkey. "Carl?"
"Eep!" The monkey stood, squinted at Diesel, and gave him the finger.
"Looks like you know each other," I said.
"Our paths crossed in Trenton," Diesel said. "How did he get here?"
"Monkey Rescue," Glo told him. "He was abandoned."
"Figures," Diesel said.
The monkey gave him the finger again.
"Does he do that all the time?" I asked Diesel.
"Not all the time."
"I got him by mistake," Glo said. "And now we don't know what to do with him."
"You could turn him loose and let him go play in traffic." Diesel said.
- Lizzy, Shirley, Diesel, and Carl, pages 132-134. — Janet Evanovich

I write every day. I'm always in the process of writing my last book, until the next one. — Farley Mowat

confined to a small volume of inhabitable space on Cleft for the remainder of their lives, were impoverished in many ways. Of information, however, they had an inexhaustible wealth. Essentially every document that had ever been digitized was available to them, — Neal Stephenson

Read your work aloud, if you can, if you aren't too embarrassed by the sound of your voice ringing out when you are alone in a room. Chances are that the sentence you can hardly pronounce without stumbling is a sentence that needs to be reworked to make it smoother and more fluent. A poet once told me that he was reading a draft of a new poem aloud to himself when a thief broke into his Manhattan loft. Instantly surmising that he had entered the dwelling of a madman, the thief turned and ran without taking anything, and without harming the poet. So it maybe that reading your work aloud will not only improve its quality but save your life in the process. — Francine Prose