Homer Funny Quotes & Sayings
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Top Homer Funny Quotes
I like to quote Homer Simpson: 'I'm like a chocoholic except for alcohol.' I come from a long line of alcoholics. It's funny because when I first started making records, I was at the tail end of a period of sobriety, so I somehow got this reputation as Captain Sober. — Moby
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! — Homer
When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off! — Homer
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a
bottle. THEY'RE ON TV! — Homer
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. — Homer
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500. — Jerry Coleman
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow — Homer
I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God. — Homer
The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore. — Matt Groening
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is
and it's me. — Homer
If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair. — Homer
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. — Homer
The strong must protect the sweet. — Homer
Homer no function beer well without. — Homer
Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria. — Homer