Famous Quotes & Sayings

Hodgman Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy reading and share 100 famous quotes about Hodgman with everyone.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

Top Hodgman Quotes

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

Thanks to Steven, I rode on a bus with the Gay Men's chorus, which he and the doctor had joined. All the way they sang. When I looked at Steven and made a face, he looked offended, but I didn't care. It was way too early in the morning for anything from Sweeney Todd. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

First of all, I wish I could grow a beard. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

The only time I've ever been mistaken for someone else is - and this arguable still - when a person came up to me on the boardwalk of Ocean City, New Jersey and said, "You look a lot like that guy from computer ads" and I said, "There is a reason because I am that guy," and the guy looked at me for a minute, laughed and said, "That's a funny joke, but you really do look like him." He thought I was not me. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I am amused by cricket because it seems to take longer than baseball and I like that. It seems like a sport I could have made up it - it takes several days to play and everyone wears sweaters. I can't confess to knowing what's going on at all. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Comics have a problem, and that is continuity - the obsession with placing the characters in an existing world, where every event is marked in canon. You're supposed to believe that these weepy star boys of now are the same gung-ho super teens fighting space monsters in the '60s, and they've only aged perhaps five years. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I am not an Internet superstar. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

In the '80s and '90s, I was really interested in, moved by, exhilarated by, and troubled by rap in all the ways a white person from Brookline, Massachusetts should be. That was music that was making trouble, and it was interesting and provocative trouble. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

Kindness may be the most difficult of virtues, but when I have encountered it, it has meant everything to me. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I had some very, very fond memories of the people I worked with and the authors I worked with - and I won't mention any names - but as I have been traveling through rural Maine over the past few weeks, one of my favorite things to do is to go into bookstores on the side of rural routes and paw through the old copies of Tom Clancy and Trevanian books they have in there for weird old 1970s thrillers that I haven't read yet. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I feel that there is a decision people make to either engage in a legitimately ridiculous process to get your kid into school, or choose not to engage in that so much, and end up finding a nice local school that fits. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

People mean well; they just aren't here enough to get what we are dealing with or what home means to my mother. Everyone thinks they know what should be done, and their suggestions make me suspect they must consider me an idiot who doesn't comprehend the situation. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I'm not a particularly religious person, but that feeling of getting transmissions from someplace else, even if it's from your own consciousness, is very, very real. To me, at least. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Helen Hodgman

Life's too short to be sat at home writing all the time. — Helen Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

My candidacy is a compelling argument for my candidacy. I want to be President. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

He loved me, as so many have loved the children who turned out to be so different, "in spite of." I didn't want "in spite of. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

You know the old saying: "History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker". — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

The fact is I'm very self-similar. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

You know, I began my life as a creative person writing true things for magazines and telling some very honest, straightforward personal essaying for This American Life, but until someone forces you, with a deadline, to really observe your life - unless you're motivated to do it yourself - there's so many stories that you miss. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration; it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Al Yankovic

I was able to come up with a couple articles for the magazine, I was able to solicit help from a bunch of my friends to contribute pieces: Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, Emo Phillips, Chris Hardwick, John Hodgman, and more. It's very much a "Weird Al" themed issue, so I'd like to think that there's a lot of "Weird Al" flavor throughout but I think it'd be generous really to call me an editor. — Al Yankovic

Hodgman Quotes By Ann Hodgman

Mom hopped up to turn off the burner, but it subsided before she got there. 'If this--whatever it is--starts playing with fire,' she said through clenched teeth, 'I'm going to give it a spanking. — Ann Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

From a very selfish point of view, I'm enchanted by the idea that a politician can come along and speak simply and clearly and truthfully to an electorate as though they are grown-ups and to feel the electorate respond to that. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

Soon the phone began to ring, a rarity, one call after another. First came the tidings of one of my mother's old friends. Her daughter has had a baby. She feared it has an oddly shaped head. Next, someone from the bridge club: She has a bladder infection. So prevalent are references to bladders in my mother's circle that I have come to think of them fondly, like a quirky, hard-to-control family who might soon be arriving for dinner. Next — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Helen Hodgman

She had six months at most left to live. She had cancer, she hissed. A filthy growth eating her insides away. There was an operation, she'd been told. They took half your stomach out and fitted you up with a plastic bag. Better a semicolon than a full stop, some might say. — Helen Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, "Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road." — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

How to Win a Fight - Step 1: Always make eye contact. Step 2: Go ahead and use henchmen - these days it's unnecessary and frowned upon to fight your own battles, especially with so many henchmen out of work. Step 3: Run lots of attack ads - I have run about 500 attack ads this year, and I expect that I will buy even more air time next year, because my enemies are getting stronger. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting job comes along, I take it; that's why I do so many things. I'm lucky to be able to. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

My hope when I wrote the first book was that I would get to do it again. But it was not entirely clear that that would happen. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not like real estate. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I realized that even in a world of proliferating media venues, online and in print, and on TV and on countless cable channels, the idea that I could be considered an expert on chronic knee pain was I think troubling for society, but very exciting for me. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Helen Hodgman

He was dazed, the soft thoughts sinking slowly in. A son. Even a daughter. His child. Immortality. A chance to make good. Pass on the hard lessons learned. — Helen Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

There's a tradition in American fiction that is deadly serious and earnest - like the Steinbeckian social novel. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I know nothing about letting go. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

Sometimes I think of all the people who have travelled on their own across the world, people who have gone far from home, from villages to sprawling cities where nothing and no one is familiar. My mother has also travelled - across time for more than nine decades, from one era to the next, from a world she knew to another where much she was taught does not apply. Things are changing so fast; there is no period of adjustment now for anyone. My mother tries to keep up, but it is such a complicated trip. The faces that time taught her to trust are all missing. She lives in a foreign land where it is up to me to try to make her feel at home. She has walked so far, through time. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

And now here I am, suddenly, after all these years, home. I am not exactly the black sheep of my family, but it is not like I am grazing in pastels. Getting — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader - a Captain Caveman, if you will - we'll be facing an even more serious problem. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

The thing about being a watcher is this: You are never really a part of things, especially if the person you must watch is yourself, always, just to make sure no one ever really sees you. . — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

Politically, I have a lot of differences with many I encounter here. When visiting the homes of reactionary friends and neighbors, I enjoy hiding their copies of books by Glenn Beck and other lunatics around the house while my hosts cook or adjourn to relieve themselves. Ducking into a garage to deposit the latest ravings of Ann Coulter into a bag of aging peat moss lifts the spirit as unfailingly as a summer tent revival. But I am trying to behave. I — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures, they usually do a pretty good (or pretty awful, but always interesting) job of lying. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

When dealing with older women, a trip to a hairdresser and two Bloody Marys goes further than any prescription drug. . . . — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

...I think of all the people quietly doing so many things that are hard. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I think that obviously, there is a perverse attraction to a fundamentally changed world or the end of the world. There is a death wish, a perverse death wish. Not just for ourselves, not just for the movie 'Death Wish,' but for the end of all human life. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I used to enjoy the anonymity of being a literary figure and occasionally a public radio figure. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Not as many people watch 'Doctor Who' as watch the Super Bowl, obviously, but the tropes that attract nerds are no longer a secret cult. It's a much larger culture, in the specific sense. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Helen Hodgman

Jack and Jill slept, wrapped in each other's arms, untroubled by any dream in their cocoon of freshly discovered wrinkly passion. — Helen Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, "I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me." — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

That catharsis is really the core of the incredibly personal comedy of Louis C.K. or Marc Maron or whatever. And look - I find it fascinating that I'm sitting here talking about some of these things, and not to low tones, and my kids are in the other room. I have to trust that if they hear what I'm saying and they have questions about it, I'll be able to answer it, and that's fine. But that's part of the scariness of it - the reality of opening up my own life and my own feelings. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I don't care if I tell that story and John Roderick gets up afterward and yells, 'I hope you enjoyed the white privilege, mortality comedy of John Hodgman!' That's me! I'm going to play a sad Handsome Family song at the end and I guarantee you everyone is going to love it because, sometimes, you need a grown man or woman to tell you what you like. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

One of the things about crowd work that's so exciting is when you discover a character in the audience who's interesting or funny, who you can vibe off of. If someone's got a weird job that you can make reference to throughout, or you can bring that person onstage - humiliate them, or celebrate them! You can put people in conversation with one another. The best is when something that they're doing can reflect back on something that you're doing. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo; I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles; — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Terry Gross has never had me on her show and you know, it's her show; she sets the agenda and that's not Hodgman. But I'll still listen to it. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I have no skills. I mean, I can make jokes, I'm pretty good at talking to people on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I can figure out what makes a pretty good story, and I can make eggs really well. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

The very idea that there is no truth, but only the filter of narrative through which truth is invented is something I learned at the feet of the most leftist professors at Yale and am learning again from Sarah Palin during the Vice Presidential debate, and I find that very disorienting. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

If Betty turned against you, she would take you on, but if she loved someone, they would never stand alone. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

I am an unlikely guardian. A month ago I thought the Medicare doughnut hole was a breakfast special for seniors. I am a care inflictor. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States, and that also will have something to do with it. I'll probably have to acknowledge that somehow. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That's like the worst thing you can do. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I am someone who values truth - actual truth as opposed to 'truthiness.' — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By Helen Hodgman

She wrote sniffing back the tears that flowed over the version of things that her unconscious insisted on sicking up. — Helen Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I am someone who values knowledge, actual knowledge. I also value stories and fiction a whole lot, and that's where the fake knowledge comes in. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I would say 70 percent of people who are in therapy are in therapy not because of their upbringing, not because of their mean sister or obsessions, but because of anxiety brought about by lack of financial security. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I was always fascinated with the way that things pop on the Internet - the ways you build communities and create little stories and ideas that people play around with and send back to you. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

My biggest superhero of writing is Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine fabulist. He's an amazingly perceptive writer, but also willing to make a joke. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Specificity is the soul of narrative. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this at the time but I still believe it - the worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You're afraid to quit. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Generally speaking, I, like anyone else who does anything publicly, like it when people like what I do, and would like to hear as much. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Just a small-scale cult of personality, maybe raise a geodetic dome out in western Massachusetts and make people wear jumpsuits and give all their possessions to me. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

So I am a product of the Internet, and to some degree a product of this sensibility of constant cultural reference. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

They stand and say it is their right to say things that injure children who have learned to hate themselves. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

My memories of literary agenting are of a very happy time and there are surprising reminders of it coming back now. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

While I understand that all things must come to an end, whether it's a television advertisement or one's life or the world itself, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he did what any friend would: He set out to prove spiritualism false and rob his friend Doyle of the only comforting fiction that was keeping him sane. It was the least he could do. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

It's been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Even in my own life, there are memories I have that are difficult to explain - happenings that are so odd and unaccountably weird, that it is difficult to imagine they were not the result of prolonged and frequent contact with aliens throughout my life. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

By the time I was writing the second book, my life had changed rather dramatically, thanks to the intervention of television, and I needed to find a way to discuss that. Otherwise the big, fake book would not be true on some level. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By George Hodgman

I can never be a person who has not made mistakes. But I can be someone honest who has lived through them: one of those who look you square in the eye and say, 'This is how it has been, and it is okay. — George Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

I had the pleasure of listening to Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys album on audio cassette, which had just come out at that time because I am an elderly man. — John Hodgman

Hodgman Quotes By John Hodgman

Anyone of conscience could come look at my book and see it as an esoteric oddity or be intrigued by it. It could happen either way on a thousand different little decisions each individual might make. — John Hodgman