High Five Funny Quotes & Sayings

In South America euphemism appears to be the grisly preserve of violent power. 'Liberty' was the name of the biggest prison in Uruguay under the military dictatorship, while in Chile one of the concentration camps was called 'Dignity.' It was the self-styled 'Peace and Justice' paramilitary group in Chiapas [Mexico] that in 1997 shot 45 peasants in the back, nearly all of them women and children, as they prayed in a church. What have the souls of the south done over the past few decades to deserve quite so much liberty and dignity and peace and justice? — Isabel Fonseca

Well, I've seen porn!" Evan defends and Dan just looks at him.
"Okay, captain Pornie, walk me through it," Dan challenges. "I'll be the pizza guy, and Jeff can be the plumber. You can be ... hey, why don't you be the high-powered young executive?"
Evan grins at him with a glint in his eye. "Okay, fine." He laces his fingers together and flexes them in front of him as if he's warming up. He sits back in chair and his eyes focus on the eaves of Jeff's roof then begins.
"The young executive come home after a hard day ...
[five pages of detailed porn]
" ... and all fall asleep together on the executives huge bed. The End." Evan is pretty clearly proud of himself, and Dan really blame him.
After an appreciative silence, Dan says, "Okay, yeah, so maybe there's some merit to the whole threesome thing. — Kate Sherwood

As a kid I was the youngest member of my family, and the youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an adult conversation. My sister was five years older than I was, my brother was nine years older than I was, and my parents were both talkers. So at the dinner table when I was very young, I was boring to all those other people. They did not want to hear about the dumb childish news of my days. They wanted to talk about really important stuff that happened in high school or maybe in college or at work. So the only way I could get into a conversation was to say something funny. — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

That was the biggest fear. I'd rather clean up before I went on the road. It's bad enough cleaning up by yourself, but the idea of putting the whole tour on the line because I could'n make it was too much; even for me — Keith Richards

When you coach as long as I did, you can't help but miss those Saturdays - dealing with the players, the game preparation, the challenges, the excitement. — Tom Osborne

Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn't, and then you lived with the choice you made. — Nicholas Sparks

This past year has been something else ... it's opened my eyes to many things and many people. It's had its ups and downs and ins and outs. And I believe we've all been able to take something from that and grow in our own imparticular ways. We've over come obstacles, and set in motion opportunities that can change our own individual lives. — Kyle Schmid

At what point do you no longer need other people to support the decisions you've made about your own reality? — Scott Ginsberg

I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself. — Chelsea Handler

When I'm all grown up, come what may,
I'll build a boat to carry me away — Guy Gavriel Kay

We can remove poverty from the surface of the earth only if we can redesign our institutions - like the banking institutions, and other institutions; if we redesign our policies, if we look back on our concepts, so that we have a different idea of poor people. — Muhammad Yunus

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair. — Will Rogers

Positively Inspired Man of Purpose; my style is P.I.M.P.'ish. — T.F. Hodge

Every believer is a witness whether he wants to be or not. — Donald Barnhouse

Strauss' water activities, which highlight both its social responsibility and commitment to the environment, meet a genuine need of people around the world today. — Ofra Strauss

I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd just stay home for five days and eat chocolate and cry. — Andrea Portes

When my children were born, I made the choice I wanted them to be raised as Jews and to have a Jewish education. — Steven Spielberg

It wouldn't have been surprising if the girl suddenly stamped her foot and began: "Comrades! Allow me to summarize the achievements which ... ," and so forth, because we have exemplary children who can make two-hour speeches with forlorn diligence. But the Young Pioneer from Roaring Springs took the bull by the horns with her little hands and belted out, in a funny, high-pitched voice: "Long live the Five-Year Plan! — Ilya Ilf