Quotes & Sayings About Having The Shits

Try Not to bleed so much on the thorns," he said as I jabbed myself in the palm and hissed in pain. "Right Now, anyone could follow us, and you are leaving a very easy trail."
Right, 'cause I'm bleeding all over the place for shits and giggles." A Bramble caught my hair, and I yanked it free with a painful tearing sound.

-Grimalkin and Meghan — Julie Kagawa

In truth I was manufacturing a brick wall of shits. — Jonathan Safran Foer

I want the honest truth about something. Could you really fight with someone who did as much damage to you as my father has done to me? (Urian)
I subjected myself to the goddess who drugged me to the point I couldn't protect my sister and nephew the night they were brutally slaughtered, and they were the only two people in the universe who'd ever given two shits about me. Later that same day, she stood back and let her twin brother butcher me on the floor like an animal, yet within hours after that I sold myself to her to protect mankind. For the sake of the Dark-Hunters, I subjected myself to her cruel whims for eleven thousand years. So, yeah, Urian, I think I could manage to suck it up for an hour to protect the rest of the world. (Acheron) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm a guy. I pee and I miss the toilet. I take shits. I eat cheeseburgers. I watch baseball and drink beer. — Jasinda Wilder

Then you wake up in Barstow California. Another dissociative fugue. It's like time traveling. It's late November now. What ever happened at teresa is a mystery to you. In Godforsaken Barstow, where the golden state shits itself into the desert, people are eatting each other. Has it always been this way? — Lost Zombies

Right, cause I'm bleeding all over the place for shits and giggles. — Julie Kagawa

The essential is to go on squirming forever at the end of the line, as long as there are waters and banks and ravening in heaven asporting God to plague his creature, per pro his chosen shits. — Samuel Beckett

I have grown into a Bestsellasaurus Rex - a big, stumbling book-beast that is loved when it shits money and hated when it tramples houses ... I started out as a storyteller; along the way I became an economic force. — Stephen King

It's difficult to continue loving someone who shits on you. — Gene Wilder

Pornographic novels were novels about the things primates enjoy most, namely sexual acrobatics. They were taught to feel ashamed of these natural primate impulses so that they would be guilty-furtive-submissive types and easy for the alpha males to manipulate. Those caught reading such novels were called no-good shits, of course. — Robert Anton Wilson

Some boys ... Are perfect shits. & other boys are very, very beautiful. — Benjamin Alire Saenz

Artists are mostly shits of the worst order. You wouldn't want one living next door to you. Think about it: Vincent Van Gogh living next door, coming over to borrow your ear and a cup of sugar every morning-Good God! — Stan Brakhage

You punk asshole. What was this? A game for you? This is my life's work you just annihilated and for what? Shits and giggles? Or was this nothing more than a fraternity prank? Please tell me that you didn't just ruin my integrity to get some kind of drinking points. This is something I've been working for since before you were born. How dare you make a mockery of me. I hope to God that one day someone degrades you like this so that you'll know, just once in your spoiled pompous life, what humiliation feels like! (Tory) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Generally speaking, the best people nowadays go into journalism, the second best into business, the rubbish into politics and the shits into law — Auberon Waugh

Dear Rocky,
Here I am taking my pencil in my hand to say hello, hoping you are in the best of health, both physically and mentally. As for me, I am fine thanks to Almighty God.
The weather in the valley is in the shits. It's been raining since Thanksgiving and here it is almost at the end of December and it's still raining. Instead of growing a prick, I think I'm going to grow a tail, like a tadpole. Ha, ha, ha! — Rocky Gamez

Nothing. It's just that most smart people are perfect shits. — Benjamin Alire Saenz

The Founding Fathers were nothing more than a bunch of snobby English shits. — Donald Freed

It makes me wonder what this rapping shits a hobby for, oh that's right, because I'm gifted in another field, and another field, and another field. — Donald Glover

Denny's chick is getting restless," Fuckwad said.
"Shut up, Tucker," Cooper muttered while gesturing for me to follow him. "Watch Bailey and make sure these assholes didn't roofie her."
Arriving at his motorcycle, I avoided Cooper's angry glare.
"You need to be more careful," he said, studying me. "College is full of perverted shits."
"I was never going to drink it. You didn't save me from anything."
Cooper glared at me then snorted. "Denny's chick," he said, climbing on his bike. "My brother's a turd."
"No comment. — Bijou Hunter

What you don't even realize now - what you will only come to understand in time, but lucky for you, I'm here to tell you - is you're not going to give two shits about this band in a few years. In fact, I guarantee that this group that you admire so much and that you are putting all of your love and dedication and devotion into will be nothing more than an obsession you will be immensely embarrassed of having had. One day you'll be in college, maybe you'll be at a party, and someone will say, 'Hey, do you remember The Ruperts? How shitty was their music?' and you will have a moment of crisis: Do you admit your former love for them, or do you concede, because you know in your heart that this person is right? And guess what you'll say? You'll say, 'Yeah, their music was utter. Putrid.Garbage. — Goldy Moldavsky

It's actually totally badass to go from your twenties to your thirties. There are so many awesome things that happen to you! Like deeply bonding with your yoga pants, developing a burning passion for expensive cheese, having real, actual orgasms (!), not giving two shits what other people think, figuring out the things you actually like to spend time and money doing, and embracing giant underwear. — Ingrid Reinke

he appeared to have run out of shits to give sometime in the previous century. Today, — Ernest Cline

A few old shits and some fucking woman," he snarled. "We're backing down to the likes o' these without a fight?" "No, no." Hardbread slung his own scarred shield onto his back. "I'm backing down, and these fellows here. You're going to stay, and fight Whirrun of Bligh on your own." "I'm what?" Redcrow frowned at Whirrun, twitchy, and Whirrun looked back, what showed of his face still stony as the Heroes themselves. "That's right," said Hardbread, "since you're itching for a brawl. Then I'm going to cart your hacked-up corpse back to your mummy and tell her not to worry 'cause this is the way you wanted it. You loved this fucking hill so much you just had to die here. — Joe Abercrombie

Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet — Darynda Jones

They were all staring at him now, the way dumb shits sometimes did when you surprised them. — Scott Hawkins

Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise. — Dana Gould

Great Paddy Shits in the Mornin', Elora! He's a vampire! No' a stray dog! — Victoria Danann

You drink whisky, hon?" he asked Mollie.
"Uh, not really."
"Well, you do now." He poured a splash of amber liquid into two crystal glasses and brought one to her before holding up his own glass.
"What are we toasting to?" he asked.
"To men being shits," Riley said.
He gave his wife a look. "I'm not drinking my own whisky to that. — Lauren Layne

Everything is better when it shits on a ritz. — Stephen King

JACKIE. I swear to God: Being in love with Veronica - it's like feeding your love to Godzilla every morning, and every morning you go "Yo, 'Zilla, these shits are very delicate so please chew softly", - and every morning - the motherfucker just goes crunch! — Stephen Adly Guirgis

No matter how beautiful a girl is, she still shits. — Dave Mustaine

A cockroach has no soul. Yet it runs and eats and shits and fucks and breeds. It has no soul, yet it lives a full life. Just like you. — David Wong

Once Elsa asked why so many not-shits had to die everywhere, and why so many shits didn't. And why anyone at all had to die, whether a shit or not...Granny admitted that she supposed something always had to give up its own space so that something else could take its place. "Like when we're on the bus and some old people get on?" asked Elsa. — Fredrik Backman

I could give two shits about who sits on what throne and what flag rises from Rune's towers. Whoever it is I have to kneel to is always going to be some vicious swindler who climbed into that throne on the backs of the poor, the broken and the dead. — David Benem