Greased Quotes & Sayings

Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed devils. — Carrie Nation

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly, the last occasion on which I witnessed this event had a deleterious effect on my psyche for which I am still seeking the attention of a therapist.
A.C. Kemp as Lady Arabella Snark — A.C. Kemp

The Pope is a mere tormentor of conscience. The assembly of his greased and religious crew in praying was altogether like the croaking of frogs, which edified nothing at all. — Martin Luther

It couldn't pull a greased
stick out of a pig's bottom — Jeremy Clarkson

Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs. — Terry Pratchett

401(k) industry the largest dark pool of assets where nobody really knows how or whose hands are getting greased. — Anthony Robbins

You ain't worth a greased lack pin to ram you into hell. — John Steinbeck

Take one Naive Girl. Bring to room temperature in the Big City. Add three cups Academia. If in one cup Encouragement. Fold in two drop Love. Sprinkle with one teaspoon Adoration. Mix thoroughly. Spoon carefully into greased Pan of Matrimony. Bake in Desert Heat for 25. Test doneness with Careless Toothpick. Let cool on Wire Rack of Inertia. Serve with generous dollops of Benign Neglect. — Elizabeth J. Church

Fame is like a shaved pig with a greased tail, and it is only after it has slipped through the hands of some thousands, that some fellow, by mere chance, holds on to it! — David Crockett

Las Vegas is a city of kickbacks. A desert city of greased palms. A place where a $20 bill can buy approval, a $100 bill adulation and $1,000 canonization. — Nicholas Pileggi

I've never bribed my way into a restaurant. I've never slipped a C-note or greased a palm. In truth, I've never even considered it. I've assumed, of course, that people do such things. — David Chang

I conquered a fear of heights and water by bungee jumping from a crane over a lake. And if thats not crazy enough, I also wrestled a greased pig in a mud pit. — Shandi Finnessey

These really cook up well the next day too. They are light and fluffy. 1 large egg ¾ cup (175 ml) milk substitute (rice, soy, almond, or coconut) 1 tablespoon (20 g) honey ½ teaspoon vanilla 1 cup (140 g) GF flour ¼ teaspoon xanthan gum ¼ teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon (5 g) baking powder Combine egg, milk substitute, honey, and vanilla in a bowl. In a separate bowl, combine flour, xanthan gum, salt, and baking powder. Add the dry mixture to the wet mixture and blend well. Cook on a hot, greased griddle, using about ¼ cup of batter for each pancake. Cook until brown on one side and around edge; turn and brown the other side. VARIATION: Fold ½ cup (75 g) fresh or frozen (thawed) blueberries into the batter. — Pamela Compart

Any writer who believes in the 'lucky creative accident' in writing is pushing elephants on roller skates up greased ramps. — Leonard Bishop

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics. — Ambrose Bierce

Happy Camper Tip #7 Jane Ann's Apple Bars: Combine two cups whole wheat flour, one-fourth cup toasted wheat germ, two teaspoons baking soda, one teaspoon cinnamon, one teaspoon salt, and one-half teaspoon nutmeg. Set aside. In a large bowl, combine four cups diced apples, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 cup chopped walnuts, 2 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add flour mixture and blend well with a wooden spoon. Spread in a greased 13 x 9 pan and bake about 50 minutes at 350. — Karen Musser Nortman

There are times when you need to step back and realize that movie studios today are not necessarily the same things that they were many years ago. Many movie studios are international conglomerates now. They own everything from theme parks to toy companies to T-shirt companies to video companies. There's a lot of different wheels to be greased. — Michael Uslan

It's not a cost of doing business when the corporation executives go to jail, and that's why they fight so hard to make sure the prosecutors' budget are very limited and that the campaign cash-greased lawmakers keep defending them against being held accountable. — Ralph Nader

London was a graveyard haunted by dead faiths. A city and a landscape. A market laid on feudalisms. Gathering and hunting, little pockets of alterity, too, but most of all in the level Billy had come to live in a tilework of fiefdoms, theocratic duchies, zones and spheres of influences, over each of which some local despot, some criminal pope, sat watch. It was all who-knew-whom, gave access to what, greased which palms on what route to where. — China Mieville

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall. — Boris Johnson

She wandered through the crowded feast hall, listening as wine greased tongues and dimmed minds. Her uncle Dalinar was in the full swing of it, rising from the high table to shout for the Parshendi to bring out their drummers. Jasnah's brother, Elhokar, hurried to shush their uncle - though the Alethi politely ignored Dalinar's outburst. All save Elhokar's wife, Aesudan, who snickered primly behind a handkerchief. Jasnah — Brandon Sanderson

Plain Kate greased her boots and bandaged her feet, and soon she would walk like a Roamer born. She helped Drina with the water and the wood, and in the long, wet evenings she carved objarka burji.
Plain Kate carved fast and learned slowly. She was bewildered most of the time, but Daj called her mira again, and when she asked Drina what it meant, the girl replied, "It means she likes you. It means your family."
Family.
It could have kept her walking for a hundred miles. And she did walk far. — Erin Bow

No one color can describe the various and varied complexions in our group. They range from the deep black to the fairest white with all the colors of the rainbow thrown in for good measure. When twenty or thirty of us meet, it is as hard to find three or four with the same complexion as it would be catch greased lightning in a bottle. — Mary Church Terrell

The squeaky wheel doesn't always get greased; it often gets replaced. — John Peers

There was a misconception about me when I started off because I had my hair greased up and I have some vague resemblance to the hillbilly gene pool that Elvis came from. People would say, 'You want to be Elvis' and I would say, 'No'. — Chris Isaak

For every person who can imagine a possibility there are tens of thousands who are stuck in the greased grooves of history. — Gary Hamel

Annie's Soda Bread

4 cps flour
3/4 cp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
3 TB caraway seeds
1 cp raisins
1/4 cp butter
1 1/3 cp buttermilk
1 egg
1 tsp baking soda

Sift and mix dry ingredients, minus soda. Stir in seeds and raisins. Cut in butter. Combine buttermilk,egg and soda in small bowl. Mix w. dry, turn out and knead. Put in greased pans and bake at 350' for 40 min. Makes two small loaves. — Elizabeth Nielsen

Together we kept that machine greased like a stripper in a plastic pool full of baby oil. — Jamie McGuire

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?"
"You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't."
"There goes my Saturday. — Cassandra Clare

I hate the whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. It's such bull. You see these dudes greased up, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex symbol. — Ben Affleck

Gods of Olympus." Piper stared at Leo. "What happened to you?"
His hair was greased back. He had welding goggles on his forehead, a lipstick mark on his cheek, tattoos all over his arms, and a T-shirt that read HOT STUFF, BAD BOY, and TEAM LEO.
"Long story," he said. — Rick Riordan

Some people are averse to competition and allow the words 'co-operation' and 'humanism' to drool from their mouths, apparently meaning thereby a large blob of protoplasmic homogeneity that lacks all individuality. It is not individuals and their liberty that concerns them, but rather some sort of well greased squirming mass that would seem to be analogous to the brains from which such amorphous 'ideas' emanate. — Laurance Labadie

An entire greased-up baby being squirted out of a gay biker's asshole during a weird gay biker sex ritual. I guess the word weird isn't really necessary there. — Anonymous

Even the most well-adjusted person is holding on to his or her sanity by a greased rope. The rationality circuits are shoddily built into the human animal. — Stephen King

Every morning, therefore, uncle Charles repaired to his outhouse but not before he had greased and brushed scrupulously his back hair and brushed and put on his tall hat. — James Joyce

The engine of liberty must be greased with the blood of both the oppressors and the oppressed. There is no better lubrication for something so prone to rust and seizure." Sirius Vant, in a speech to the Sun Dogs, Unknown Planet, Aashaanti Corridor, final stages of the Triton Wars — Sara King

When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion. — Josh Billings

ANOINT, v.t.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood, So pigs to lead the populace are greased good. — Liu Shaoqi

ESTHER'S RECIPE FOR BOYFRIEND COOKIES Ingredients: 1 cup butter, softened ¾ cup granulated sugar ¾ cup brown sugar, packed 3 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla ¼ cup whole wheat flour ¼ cup soy flour 3½ cups quick-cooking oatmeal 1½ cups salted peanuts, coarsely chopped 1 cup carob chips Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter and sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, beating until fluffy. Sift flours and add to creamed mixture. Fold in oatmeal, peanuts, and carob chips. Drop by teaspoon 2 inches apart on greased baking sheet and bake 8 to 10 minutes. Yield: 7 to 8 dozen cookies. — Wanda E. Brunstetter

No man who drank or smoked could ever come nearer to me than the telephone. I'd say, I won't let you - you nicotine-soaked, beer-besmeared, whiskey-greased, red-eyed devil - talk to me face to face ... — Carrie Nation

Once you've watched grown men chase greased pigs, it's hard to find anything that actually seems scuzzier. Bee — Rachel Hawkins

Christ will remain a priest and king; though He was never consecrated by any papist bishop or greased by any of those shavelings; but he was ordained and consecrated by God Himself, and by Him anointed. — Martin Luther

La mu'axsa, but I think I'll just keep sliding down this greased pole to hell? — V.S. Carnes

It's one of the fliers from the apocalypse cults that sprang up like pimples on greased skin after the attacks. It — Susan Ee

A pity that she gets so upset about little things, isn't it?"
"Like the time we sneaked the greased piglet into Mrs. Astor's parlor."
Smiling reminiscently, Lillian knelt before the door and worked the pin into the lock. "You know, I've always wondered why Mother didn't appreciate that we did it in her defense. Something had to be done after Mrs. Astor wouldn't invite Mother to her party."
"I think Mother's point was that putting livestock in someone's house does little to recommend us as future party guests."
"Well, I didn't think that was nearly as bad as the time we set off the Roman candle in the store on Fifth Avenue."
"We were obligated to do that, after that salesman had been so rude. — Lisa Kleypas