Grandma God Quotes & Sayings

My grandma loved to be on stage entertaining people. She loves to make people smile and laugh. She loves to brighten other people's day. She often calls perfect strangers her angel, as a way of witnessing, but also to encourage and build their self-esteem. — Lisa Bedrick

GRANDMA: Are you a gay?
ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man?
*She laughs*
ORPHEUS' BRAIN: Thank god she took it as a joke. I would have been executed on the town square for such a rude back answer. — Scarlett Brukett

Though she doesn't remember any trauma, she said that her parents told her she cried on a daily basis and her grandmother resorted to passing out candy so the kids would play with her. Though it was a humorous moment, Mila said, "I know, God bless her. She's an amazing, amazing woman." — Mila Kunis

God doesn't like lesbians, Grandma Huberman hised, throwing the magazine in the trash.
Jennifer knew what lesbian meant, and she knew she probably was one. But she couldn't understand why God would hold that against her or against Monica Mathers, who'd never started a war or killed anybody, and whose deadeye three-pointers were straight-up amazing. After all, hadn't God made both of them? But people were like that, she'd noticed. They'd invoke Godly privilege at the weirdest of times and for the most stupid reasons. — Libba Bray

My grandma raised her eyes to the heavens, put her hand on her heart and sighed dramatically. "Dear God, one day let my family love me for my soul instead of my remarkably elegant possessions, my shoe box full of cash, and my outstanding high-interest-rate back account... — Emily Cassel

I noticed that religion gave some people a way to escape dealing with the world: "Things will be better when you die," the people of my grandma's generation said as they worked themselves to death. "God wants you to forgive and love those who do you wrong," some people said to shake off the shame of being unable to respond to the abuse they endured. The holier-than-thou faction found comfort in believing, "The rest of y'all are lost because you don't have a personal relationship with God - our God."
But art engages you in the world, not just the world around you but the big world, and not just the big world of Tokyo and Sydney and Johannesburg, but the bigger world of ideas and concepts and feelings of history and humanity. — Wynton Marsalis

Jesus. I had a dream last night too.
You had.
I dreamt that my Grandma had just died yesterday.
Dear God.
And she had died long before I was born.
He looked at me with astounded eyes, and felt his neck, and then he patted my knee. Aisy son, he said.
Why did I dream her?
Because you never met her. The dead you never met die a little bit every day in your head. — Dermot Healy

My grandma always says that God never closes a door without opening a window. For twenty-five years, I was pretty sure she was full of shit, but right about now, I was ready to throw open every one of the barred and double-paned windows in my postage stamp. Hallelujah, praise Jesus-there was a chance that I was back in business — Rachel Stuhler

Thank God it's not, or your father would never have been conceived." "Ew! Grandma, ew! Don't say things like that! How can you say things like that with your face? Your actual grandma face? You're supposed to be all innocent and baking cookies and forgetting that sex was ever a part of your life. — Seanan McGuire

During my mental illness, thank God, my grandma was my human rescuer and angel, she ask me to stop taking the medication, leading to the recovering. — Lailah Gifty Akita

My grandma always said, "Trouble is what God uses to prepare you for better things!" If you have trouble in your life, you are in a valley. If you are in a valley, you are being prepared for something bigger, better, greater; something you probably could not handle now. — Iyanla Vanzant

He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying. — Janet Evanovich

Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you
do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale? — Chuck Palahniuk

For a quick moment, I saw Grandma as she saw herself: a decent woman whom God, for unfathomable reasons, had chosen to punish. I almost loved her for her bewilderment. I almost touched her. — Wally Lamb

My grandma always said that God made libraries so that people didn't have any excuse to be stupid. — Joan Bauer

It's hard to know, isn't it, whether the things we face are just because the world is full of sin and sinful people, or if God is working out a plan,' Grandma continued. 'I happen to think it's both. There's sin, but through it all, He takes the mess we make and paints a masterpiece. In fact, I'm quite certain that before God can ever bless a woman - and use her to impact many - He uses the hammer, the file, and the furnace to do a holy work. — Tricia Goyer

My Lovely Grandson

Your lovely smile that warms my heart
Your infectious laughter that brings me joy
I fell in love in with your charming character
Grandma's little boy
May God protect you in every aspect of your life
May He give you wisdom in everything you do
May He bless you and keep you
All the days of your life. — Euginia Herlihy

CHAPTER THREE SIN USHERS MAN TO DEATH But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 6:22-23 As Lust got older, Grandpa Earth would yield his treasures to her; everything precious that he stored, he would render to his firstborn grandchild. Lust became very wealthy incomparable to every other living being including her dad. She employed many of her siblings, and advised them of how to make great success as her employees. Despite her favour with her granddad, she did not receive the same preferential treatment from Grandma Sun. — Stephen Domena

Grandma Clara acted toward God the way we act toward people we're madly in love with.
When you are truly in love, you go to great lengths to be with the one you love. You'll drive for hours to be together, even if it's only a short while. You don't mind staying up late to talk. Walking in the rains is romantic, not annoying. You'll willingly spend a small fortune on the one you're crazy about. When you are apart from each other, it's painful, even miserable. He or she is all you think about; you jump at any chance to be together. — Francis Chan

Oh no. Oh, hell no. Merciful God above. Jake looked around for Aileen, his latest conquest and plus one for the engagement party for his brother Travis. "Yes, I need only a one-way ticket," Grandma announced loudly to the Alaska Airlines clerk at the kiosk. Jake watched with a mixture of horror and panic as his grandmother bought a ticket on the same flight as him. please let her credit card be declined; please, please. "Here you go!" The evil lady handed over a boarding pass and smiled at Grandma — Rachel Van Dyken

My new friend," she said. "I met him at the farmers' market."
Friend? Now there was some code. Suddenly, I realized why Patricia [his grandma] had sex on her mind, and then, just as suddenly, I had this whole new batch of unwanted images and thoughts.
"So what do you think, hon? Saturday night, maybe?" Patricia asked my back.
I leaned farther into the refrigerator. "Uhhh..." Milk, orange juice, pickles, mustard, canola oil, cream cheese, my grandmother having sex, please God, make it stop--
Hon? — Lisa Papademetriou

Catherine. " She swept by me without a hug. Okay, that was familiar, too. "You really should wear something warmer, it's freezing out. "
Hello to you, too, Mom. Or whoever the hell you are, because you sure don't look like the woman who raised me.
123 "You should talk, " I managed. "I can see all the way up to your thigh. My God, if Grandma saw you now, she'd come right out of her grave!"
My mother opened her mouth, paused, and then smiled. "I won't tell if you won't. "
I was going directly to the kitchen to fall to my knees in awe before Rodney. Lo and behold, he'd managed to give her a sense of humor, and here I'd figured that would take voodoo, several headless chickens, and a lot of gris-gris. — Jeaniene Frost

So Shea sang her praise, thanking God she got to be right there, because Shea's favorite places were the ones where she got to be with her grandma. — A.L. Jackson

We need to reject evil and embrace our faith-whatever it may be. We need to remind ourselves about how things used to be-how it should be. Only by informing others, can we defeat this corrupt system of organized chaos. Remember, everything that is happening now was planned long ago, and it is all happening for a specific purpose. The insane policies that are being made have never been about keeping us safe from terrorists; nor have they been about preserving freedom of speech, or just plain freedom. One thing is for certain: it is not about God, nor is it about Grandma or "apple pie". It is all about money and power and control-plain and simple. — Cass Swenson

You be as angry as you need to be," she said. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your grandma, not your dad, no one. And if you need to break things, then by God, you break them good and hard. — Patrick Ness