Gopher Quotes & Sayings

If you can't pass on a little loving-kindness in this world, you might as well be a gopher in a hole. — Ross Macdonald

There's something outrageously simple about extending yourself toward a goal the way a plant seeks the sun's rays or a gopher the crunch of easy soil beneath his paws, and then getting exactly what you want, sunshine or some prized tuber. — Gary Shteyngart

I wouldn't care whether it was a laboratory or a carnival. But it's merely safe. Tell me, Mr. Pollock, what is the matter with Gopher Prairie? — Sinclair Lewis

The reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries. — David Letterman

I am a nurse," she retorted. "I am not a gopher." "You are a nurse," the supervisor yelled, "and you are whatever you have to be to try to save lives! — Kerry Hamm

It wasn't what we needed then that was hurting us, it was what we was paying for that we had already used up. The country was just buying gasoline for a leaky tank. Everything was going into a gopher hole and you couldent see where you was going to get any of it back. — Will Rogers

We are kindred all of us, killer and victim, predator and prey, me and the sly coyote, the soaring buzzard, the elegant gopher snake, and trembling cottontail, the foul worms that feed on our entrails; all of them, all of us. Long live diversity, long live the earth! — Edward Abbey

Many parks in Florida have information kiosks with colorful enamel signs showing the special flora and fauna in the park. The gopher tortoise, the scrub jay, the indigo snake. At no park with an indigo snake on its kiosk signs could I find an indigo. — Padgett Powell

I turned my back on Coyote without saying another word. He didn't want to know what I was going to do with those granny panties. Surprisingly, Granuaile did. "Sensei, what were you going to do with those marshmallows and panties?" she whispered as we walked together. "I mean, I'm sure it had to be dire, but it just didn't sound as threatening as the potential havoc a monkey could wreak on his sack." "There was more to that recipe," I admitted. "He cut me off before I could get to the Icy Hot and the gopher snake." "Ew. What would you do with that?" "I will leave it to you as an exercise." I — Kevin Hearne

As a runner on a film, you are the lowest of the low, and yet you have incredible access to everyone. I can totally imagine that for actors in the middle of a Hollywood bubble, all they really want is a sense of normality, and that gopher can be a tap for that. — Eddie Redmayne

It seems to me possible, even probable, that many of the nonhuman undomesticated animals experience emotions unknown to us. What do the coyotes mean when they yodel at the moon? What are the dolphins trying so patiently to tell us? Precisely what did those two enraptured gopher snakes have in mind when they came gliding toward my eyes over the naked sandstone? If I had been as capable of trust as I am susceptible to fear I might have learned something new or some truth so very old we have all forgotten it. They — Edward Abbey

You, sir," I said, "have all the dignity of a badger with the clap. Shark shit has more fiber than you. I'm going to tie your nuts-first to a monkey's cage and make a mix tape of the resulting noise. Then I'm going to take a bag of marshmallows and a pair of granny panties and-" ...
... He didn't want to know what I was going to do with those granny panties. Surprisingly, Granuaile did. "Sensei, what were you going to do with those marshmallows and panties?" she whispered as we walked together. "I mean, I'm sure it had to be dire, but it just didn't sound as threatening as the potential havoc a monkey could wreak on his sack."
"There was more to that recipe," I admitted. "He cut me off before I could get to the Icy Hot and the gopher snake. — Kevin Hearne

I had a little teddy bear called Gordon the gopher. I took him to bed with me, he'd come to school with me cos he was my favourite. — John Terry

Choking the gopher. What'd you think I'd do, my homework? — Simone Elkeles

The railroad was more than a means of transportation to Gopher Prairie. It was a new god; a monster of steel limbs, oak ribs, flesh of gravel, and a stupendous hunger for freight; a deity created by man that he might keep himself respectful to Property, as elsewhere he had elevated and served as tribal gods the mines, cotton-mills, motor-factories, colleges, army. — Sinclair Lewis

If I said I wouldn't toss him out of my bed for eating crackers, would you leave me alone? (Grace)
Maybe. What else wouldn't you toss him out of bed for? (Selena)
Eating greasy grimy gopher guts? (Grace) — Sherrilyn Kenyon