Golf Hole In One Quotes & Sayings

Bobby JonesConsidered objectively, it is quite obviously a very simple matter to propel a ball with a stick across some specially prepared ground and into a hole which is of sufficient size to accomodate it by a good margin. Simple that is, provided there is no limit upon the time or the number of strokes required. — Bobby Jones

That's great. They should put the hole in the fairway. — Colin Montgomerie

If you hit a hole in one every hole, you wouldn't play golf for very long. — Warren Buffett

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer. — Tom Mulligan

I played golf ... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying ... — Mitch Hedberg

The reason the Road Hole at St. Andrews is the most difficult par 4 in the world is that it was designed as a par 6. — Ben Crenshaw

Golf is the art of driving hard, avoiding the rough, surmounting traps and hazards, aiming straight, and arriving on the green at last, only to end up in a hole in the ground before your companions. The favored pastime of businessmen and their cronies, probably without a full appreciation of its metaphorical implications. — Rick Bayan

He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of the Green Fields, and knocked their king Golfimbul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit-hole, and in this way the battle was won and the game of Golf invented at the same moment. — J.R.R. Tolkien

Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome. — Bob Hope

Walking also enables us to watch a hole unfold in front of us. To walk a course is analogous to driving a long distance rather than flying. While driving, we see the country instead of racing over it. There's a human scale that flying cannot offer. — Lorne Rubenstein

In golf, a player can step and mar the line of his adversary's putt. A player can also hit his adversary or his caddie intentionally with his ball and claim the hole - but it isn't usually done. — Charles Brown MacDonald

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!" — Bob Monkhouse

The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole. — Julius Boros

My caddie 'Stovepipe' tried to talk me into hitting a 3-wood. But I took out the turf rider (4-wood) instead. The moment I hit it, I felt something in my bones. Walter Hagen was playing with me and Bobby Jones was on the green. 21 people were behind the green. The sun was going down. I wasn't sure it had gone in the hole until I saw all 21 people jumping up and down. — Gene Sarazen

I played golf for 25 years before I made a hole-in-one of any kind. I was on the tour for years before it finally happened. Eventually I made 23, but boy, that first one was a long time coming. It was the price I paid for not shooting at every flag. — Billy Casper

A sailor was stranded on a desert island and managed to survive by making friends with the local natives - such good friends, in fact, that one day the chief offered him his daughter for an evening's entertainment. Late that night, while they made love, the chief's daughter kept shouting, "Oga, boga! Oga, boga!" The arrogant sailor assumed this must be how the natives express their appreciation when something is fantastic. A few days later the chief invites the sailor for a game of golf. On his first stroke, the chief hit a hole in one. Eager to try out his new vocabulary, the sailor enthusiastically shouted "Oga boga! Oga boga!" The chief turned around with a puzzled look on his face and asked, "What you mean, 'wrong hole'? — Osho

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked. — Lewis Black

I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play. — Lee Trevino

Golf. Trying to knock a tiny ball into an even smaller hole with implements ill suited to the purpose. — Winston Churchill

If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone. — Richard Armour

After missing the cut at the 1957 Masters because of poor putting, Hogan retired to the clubhouse and suggested that putting should no longer be a part of the game. "If I had my way," Hogan grumbled, "every golf green would be made into a huge funnel. You hit the funnel and the ball would roll down a pipe into the hole. I've always considered that golf is one game," Hogan added, "and putting another. — Jim Hawkins

I got no pride on the hole. It's a par-5 and I play it that way. A four is a birdie. — Lee Trevino

The hole was playing downwind and I managed to get a good bounce. — Nicolas Colsaerts

I'm helpless in post-round, hole-by-hole interviews. I can't take you through most of the holes of winning the Players Championship, the U.S. Amateur or Ryder Cup matches. It's like golf amnesia. — Matt Kuchar

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end. — Chuck Hogan

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play. — Ray Romano

It breaks towards the center of the earth when it is above the hole. — Brian Weiss

Golf is a terrible, hopeless addiction, it seems: it makes its devotees willing to trudge miles in any manner of weather, lugging a huge, incommodious and appallingly heavy bag with them, in pursuit of a tiny and fantastically expensive ball, in a fanatical attempt to direct it into a hole the size of a beer glass half a mile away. If anything could be better calculated to convince one of the essential lunacy of the human race, I haven't found it. — Mike Seabrook

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on the scorecard. — Bob Bruce

Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone. — Henry Beard

Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A "hole in three" is not a fun story to relive. — Brian Weiss

When you lip out several putts in a row, you should never think that means that you're putting well. When you're putting well, the only question is what part of the hole it's going to fall in, not if it's going in. — Jack Nicklaus

There isn't a hole out there [Augusta] that can't be birdied if you just think. But there isn't one that can't be double-bogeyed if you stop thinking. — Bobby Jones

If some hole does not possess striking individuality through some gift of nature, it must be given as much as possible artificially, and the artifice must be introduced in so subtle a manner as to make it seem natural. — A. W. Tillinghast

The problem with art is, it's not like the game of golf where you put the ball in the hole. There's no umpire; there's no judge. There are no rules. It's one of its problems. But it's also one of the great things about art. It becomes a question of what lasts. — Richard Prince

If you're a friend or a relative of George Herbert Walker Bush, Prez 41, or George W. Bush, Prez 43, or any other Bushes, then you know an 18-hole round of golf shouldn't take more than three hours out of your day - there are other important things to do. — Dan Jenkins

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose — Winston S. Churchill

I've known the thrill of winning a tough ball game and of winning a golf match on the last hole. But to me the biggest thrill is to win the big one - the spiritual battle of life. — Billy Graham

Trouble is bad to get into but fun to get out of. If you're in trouble, eighty percent of the time there's a way out. If you can see the ball, you can probably hit it; and if you can hit it, you can move it; and if you can move it, you might be able to knock it in the hole. At least it's fun to try. — Arnold Palmer

I didn't miss the putt. I made the putt. The ball missed the hole. — Peter Jacobsen

When that happens [the demise of golf], old men will furtively beckon to their sons and, like fugitives from the guillotine recalling the elegant orgies at the court of Louis XV, will recite the glories of Portmarnock and Merion, of the Road Hole at St. Andrews, the sixth at Seminole, the eighteenth at Pebble Beach. They will take out this volume from its secret hiding place and they will say: "There is no question, son, that these were unholy places in an evil age. Unfortunately, I had a whale of a time." — Alistair Cooke

I'm a great believer that if you don't get the ball to the hole, it won't go in. — Colin Montgomerie

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole? — Bruce Lansky

I was from North Carolina, so as a youngster all of my mind games about golf were always, 'If I make this I win The Masters, if I hole this par putt I win The Masters.' So it was a great thrill to play there. — Raymond Floyd

A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. — Mac O'Grady

As every golfer knows, no one ever lost his mind over one shot. It is rather the gradual process of shot after shot watching your score go to tatters - knowing that you have found a different way to bogey each hole. — Thomas Boswell

Rockwood didn't have a movie theater or an IHOP or a strip mall. But it did have two churches, a ramshackle bar, and last (but certainly not least) Wacky Willie's Deluxe Goofy Golf, a barren landscape of wilted ferns and plastic flamingos with peeling paint. Wacky Willie had added the 'Deluxe' when finally ridding the thirteenth hole windmill of a stubborn family of bats after a great and terrible struggle that would forever be known as 'The Fearsome Bat War of Rockwood County' by Willie, but was usually referred to as 'That Time Willie Had to Get Rabies Shots' by everyone else. — A. Lee Martinez

A story told me by Michael Barrie: Jesus and the Blessed Virgin go out to play golf. The Blessed Virgin is at the top of her form, drives and lands on the green. Jesus slices and lands in the bushes. A squirrel picks up the ball and runs off with it. A dog grab the squirrel, which still holds the ball in its mouth. An eagle swoops down, picks up the dog, squirrel and ball, and soars into the air. Out of a clear sky, lightning strikes the eagle, which drops the dog which drops the squirrel which drops the ball, right into the hole. The Blessed Virgin throws down her driver and exclaims indignantly, 'Look, are you going to play golf or just fuck around? — Christopher Isherwood

No matter what happens - never give up a hole ... In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast. — Sam Snead

If you have ever seen a dragon in a pinch, you will realize that this was only poetical exaggeration applied to any hobbit, even to Old Took's great-granduncle Bullroarer, who was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of the Green Fields, and knocked their king Golfibul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit-hole, and in this way the battle was won and the game of Golf was invented at the same moment. — J.R.R. Tolkien

It is a law of nature that everybody plays a hole badly when playing through. — Bernard Darwin

If you can see it, you can hit it and if you can hit it, you can hole it. — Arnold Palmer

If a man can shoot 10 birdies, there's no reason why he can't shoot 18. Why can't you birdie every hole on the course? — Ben Hogan

Programming is similar to a game of golf. The point is not getting the ball in the hole but how many strokes it takes. — Hayley Mills