Gluteus Maximus Quotes & Sayings

Not like this vision before us, who was shaking water out of his slightly overlong reddish-brown
hair as he leaned over to lay down his board (revealing, as he did so, the fact that beneath his
baggy swim trunks - so weighted down with water that they had sunk somewhat dangerously low
on his hips - lurked what appeared to be an exceptionally well-formed gluteus maximus) — Meg Cabot

Global warming my gluteus maximus — Sammy Wilson

Apparently, Clytius hadn't expected her to be quite so suicidal. He was slow raising his sword. By the time he slashed, Hazel had ducked between his legs and jabbed her Imperial gold blade into his gluteus maximus. Not very ladylike. The nuns at St. Agnes would never have approved. But it worked. — Rick Riordan

Sitting around on your big fat gluteus maximus talking about the good old days. The good old days are right this second. You've got to exercise VIG-OR-OUSLY! Life is tough. Life is a challenge. Life is a battlefield ... Life is an athletic event, and you must train for it. — Jack LaLanne

EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dead and thereby deranging the natural balance between animal and vegetable life, the Egyptians made their once fertile and populous country barren and incapable of supporting more than a meagre crew. The modern metallic burial casket is a step in the same direction, and many a dead man who ought now to be ornamenting his neighbour's lawn as a tree, or enriching his table as a bunch of radishes, is doomed to a long inutility. We shall get him after awhile if we are spared, but in the meantime, the violet and rose are languishing for a nibble at his gluteus maximus. — Ambrose Bierce

Keep getting asked by letter and on the street by Jane and John Does dressed in spandex how they can prepare simple "gourmet" dinners in ten minutes so as to prolong, presumably, their cross-training and spritzer-drinking binges, massage and colonic appointments, drumming and marriage-counseling sessions, and tarot-card swap clubs. An easy answer here. Scoop ample quantities of Skippy on two paper plates. Handcuff each other and then slam your faces down into the plates with gusto. Good for the gluteus maximus. And it will bring you together at the sink, plus you won't have to violate your space by answering the phone. Back to the — Jim Harrison