Gimme Gimme Gimme Funny Quotes & Sayings

Name a song. Any song at all."
She thought for a moment and said, "'Claire de Lune.'"
I placed my hands on the keyboard. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back and struck a key, sounding a single note. "There you go. Gimme another one. I can play the first note of anything. As long as I get to choose the key it's in. — Michael Darling

Jack prepared another needle with the antibiotics.
"You're not sticking me with that."
"Come on. It'll only hurt for a second, and I'll get to look under that sheet again."
"Jack, I'm not kidding. I don't like shots. Enough already."
"You need the medicine. Now gimme your cheek."
"Ha. Ha. Very funny."
She let him give her the shot and stuck her tongue out when he finished. He loved how easily she made him laugh.
"Smart ass."
"Sore ass is more like it." — Jennifer Ryan

All that we are and all that we've ever felt, words have felt it first. — Kiki Dimoula

I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over. — Mitch Hedberg

Every path is the right path. Everything could've been anything else. And it would have just as much meaning. — Mr. Nobody

Thunder splits the rift where the Sun floods in. — David Mitchell

But finally, once in an age, there is a blink. And in that blink, you can be. And in that blink, I can be. — Patrick Bryant

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken? — Bobcat Goldthwait

One girl raved about a nice voicemail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: 'Hey, Lydia. It's Sam. Just calling to say what's up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.'

THAT WAS IT.

I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'

Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari

No matter what album I've ever made or ever will work on, it's me trying to achieve this feeling I had listening to music when I was 8 years old. Just being mesmerized by the production and the mystique and the stories. — Jason Lytle

One of the first things her friend Ginika told her was that "fat" in America was a bad word, heaving with moral judgment — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Many perfumes promise to lure men to women. None of them smell of motherhood. None of them proclaim the wearer to be tidy, thrifty, and sensible. — Janette Rallison

Three guys and a girl were leaning against a black raised pickup ... I had to do a double take as this group was nothing like I had ever seen before. — Meredith T. Taylor

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.
- Jane — J.R. Ward

Sometimes I'm so afraid of making the wrong choice that I just don't make any choice at all. — Charlotte Stein

The tyranny of the ignoramuses is insurmountable and assured for all time. — Albert Einstein

I got a business card because I wanna win some lunches. That's what my business card says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme a call, maybe we'll have lunch. If I'm lucky! — Mitch Hedberg

When reason ends, then anger begins. Therefore, anger is a sign of weakness. — Dalai Lama