Gervais Quotes & Sayings

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real. — Ricky Gervais

I think sometimes you get given a good pile of goodwill, and it's whether you use it up in the first six months or spread it out over a career. — Ricky Gervais

You now have the least amount of time you've ever had, to do everything you've ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one — Ricky Gervais

I get so sick of people asking: "What's your demographic?" Or: "Oh we've got to aim this at ... " No, you have to aim it at you. You do the thing you would love ... make the thing you would love and be proud of. There's enough people in the world that, if you do that and do it well as a single vision, they'll go: "That's my favourite thing ever!" — Ricky Gervais

I think everyone has the ability to be loved. — Ricky Gervais

I can't stand it. I can't stand someone being embarrassed. I don't know why. If someone slips over and the first thing they do is look around, I pretend I haven't seen it. — Ricky Gervais

I've got the attention span of a child. — Ricky Gervais

I feel sorry for people in power. I feel sorry for the Queen, in a way, that she hasn't had a normal life. It'd difficult for me to hate anyone. Immediately someone's unpopular, I feel sorry for them. — Ricky Gervais

I think doing something creative is the most important thing to me, and I think it's probably just good for the soul for anyone, whatever it is. You don't have to be a film director - you can do gardening or something - but I think everyone needs to create something. — Ricky Gervais

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me. — Ricky Gervais

My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn't reoffended. I think he's going straight, which shows you prison does work. — Ricky Gervais

I've always dabbled. I've always nearly written a book, I've always tried painting, I've always tried to make something out of ideas, really. It was never a plan. I never thought, Right. First I'll get famous, and then I'll do a book. — Ricky Gervais

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are. — Ricky Gervais

You don't have a wife then? No family of your own?" Sophia kept her tone light, stealing furtive glances at Quinn's hawk's-beak nose and heavy brow between questions.
"Not as yet, miss."
"But surely you've a sweetheart for Saturdays?"
Quinn gave a rough laugh. "Oh, I've one for every day of the week, Miss Turner."
Sophia stilled her charcoal and lifted an eyebrow. "What a relief to learn that your calendar is full, Mr. Quinn. For I warn you, I shan't be tempted to stray from Gervais. — Tessa Dare

You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back. — Ricky Gervais

Thank you God for making me an atheist. — Ricky Gervais

Atheism is a belief system",
is like saying "not going skiing, is a hobby. — Ricky Gervais

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. — Ricky Gervais

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa. — Ricky Gervais

With Ricky Gervais, it's all shades of wrong, it's my kind of humor. — Emily Blunt

I have to be excited, I have to have an adrenaline rush about doing something, or it bores me, I feel trapped. — Ricky Gervais

Same-sex marriage is not a gay privilege, it's equal rights ... — Ricky Gervais

If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses. — Ricky Gervais

When I direct my own scripts, it's much easier as it's been in my head for a year already. What I love about this is having an idea and seeing it come to fruition onscreen. I would like to direct someone else's script one day, but I might not get round to it before I die - you can't legislate for being hit by a bus! — Ricky Gervais

Hollywood is responsible for some of the greatest and worst movies of all time! — Ricky Gervais

That's the amazing thing about life. You can just rub it out, like a blackboard, and start again. — Ricky Gervais

I didn't have toys and bikes; I'd go out and pick up rocks. I was into science and nature. It was my first love. I was going to be a vet and a marine biologist. I went to university and studied biology for two weeks and I just thought: "I've been conned!" — Ricky Gervais

If you walked around like David Bowie in 1973 in Reading, you'd get beaten up. The 1970s in a small town was more like the 1950s.. and that's the truth. The backdrop was probably Victorian. — Ricky Gervais

I know how much embarrassment hurts, and I love it as a theme because you can keep digging a hole. It's just an endless well, embarrassment. — Ricky Gervais

You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful — Ricky Gervais

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same. — Ricky Gervais

Everyday life is interesting enough, whether it be in an office or being ignored on the set of something supposedly more glamorous. — Ricky Gervais

Growing up, the most important thing, after taking care of your family and getting a decent job of work, was having a laugh. That was the point to life. — Ricky Gervais

Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals. — Ricky Gervais

I always knew I had to be 100 percent in charge, even when I was a middle manager. I used to say to my boss, "Just give me enough rope and then fire me." I always knew I had to be 100 percent in charge, even when I was a middle manager. I used to say to my boss, "Just give me enough rope and then fire me." — Ricky Gervais

I've worked in an office. People are sitting down doing their stuff, or pretending to do their stuff, and they're bored. I've heard a car tire screech and 30 people went to the window. That was a piece of excitement in their day, that a car might have had to stop quickly, you know. You don't need dinosaurs, you know. — Ricky Gervais

You can just keep getting it worse until you have to pull back and let the audience breathe. But yeah, I really love digging. — Ricky Gervais

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens. — Ricky Gervais

It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while. — Zach Braff

Being honest is what counts. To make the ordinary extraordinary is so much better than starting with the extraordinary. — Ricky Gervais

Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission — Ricky Gervais

The grass isn't always greener on the other side! — Ricky Gervais

I've probably done the odd thing. I've probably done more than I would have done and some things you don't say no to. You don't say no to working with "The Simpsons" ... the greatest comedy show on television. You mustn't. Even though going to my bad judgment, I remember saying that all I can do is make this show slightly worse. — Ricky Gervais

I've never been insulted by hateful satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God. — Ricky Gervais

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do. — Ricky Gervais

Some of my favorite shows are Ricky Gervais' 'Extras' and 'Curb Your Enthusiasm.' — Brian Dunkleman

Popularity and democracy aren't a judge, they're just stats. — Ricky Gervais

do anything stupid?" he asked. "I won't," she said softly. Mike knew that tone of voice well. He had heard it many times in the past while interrogating suspects who had lost their will to fight. He let her go. She turned fully around and looked at him. She didn't say anything, but Mike could see that she was grateful for — Simon Gervais

Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It's just another building block. — Ricky Gervais

Dear Religion, This week I safely dropped a man from space while you shot a child in the head for wanting to go to school. Yours, Science. — Ricky Gervais

I don't feel any pressure at all because I don't care. That's an occupational hazard ... but if you're doing anything of any worth, and not doing something that's safe and anodyne and trying to be populist and a national treasure, then you've got to assume that as many people hate what you do - and you - as like what you do and like you. — Ricky Gervais

I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces. — Ricky Gervais

Fact is stranger than fiction. You see people walking down the street that would never be allowed on television. You have to tone it down. — Ricky Gervais

Why buy a book when you can join a library. — Ricky Gervais

In a safe Western world where we're not being shot at and we're not starving, the worst thing that happens to us most days is someone's rude to us, or we accidentally insult someone. Social faux pas is the worst thing that happens to most people, most days, so we've got to concentrate on that, really. — Ricky Gervais

Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now — Ricky Gervais

If I do eat meat, it's got to be ethical. I want to know that it lived a great life before it was killed humanely. — Ricky Gervais

Most of the EDM tracks right now are not very musical, they have one note that keeps playing. You really don't need to be a musician to do records like this, so I think me playing guitar for so many years and listening to rock 'n' roll and real music helps me when I work with vocalists like Lana Del Ray and Miley Cyrus. — Cedric Gervais

For every wacky postcard, there's a million people waiting to buy it, and for every $10 million of those things, there's one Rembrandt. Purposely, I think I want to aim at doing something that a lot of people won't like. I'm just worried that it looks like I've compared my work with Rembrandt. "Gervais says he's better than Rembrandt!". — Ricky Gervais

I think that's the fundamental thing - you can go anywhere you like as long as you're following a character that the audience likes and understands. — Ricky Gervais

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better — Ricky Gervais

As an atheist, I see nothing "wrong" in believing in a God. I don't think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that's fine with me. It's when belief starts infringing on other people's rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn't kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It's strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are. — Ricky Gervais

I don't really inject the rock 'n' roll thing, what I take from rock 'n' roll is probably the melodies and the musical behind it. — Cedric Gervais

Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny. — Ricky Gervais

You try to make characters you care about, and I think realism helps. Even though this is a high concept, the characters have got to be real. — Ricky Gervais

I live on the water and I have jet skis. Skiing is my biggest thing, I've been skiing since I was five-years-old. — Cedric Gervais

That's what life is, it's the small struggles. You walk down the street for half an hour, you see half an hour of drama. You don't need convoluted plot lines. You don't need long-lost brothers. You don't need it's set on the future; it's set on the moon. — Ricky Gervais

She said, 'I'm your biggest fan,' and I said, 'Who are you?' She said, 'Paris Hilton.' — Ricky Gervais

I went to university with no money. I can't understand a society that wouldn't give a poor person the same opportunity as a rich person. — Ricky Gervais

I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't know they could until now. — Ricky Gervais

For any of you who don't know, the Golden Globes are just like the Oscars, but without all that esteem. The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker, and more easily bought. — Ricky Gervais

Everything you do is autobiographical. Yeah, I grew up in a town called Redding and I had older brothers and sisters so it's all my memories of growing up. — Ricky Gervais

If you pay attention to good critics, you have to listen to the bad. So you have to ignore them all really. You can't just cherry pick the glowing ones. — Ricky Gervais

Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. Someone being serious or angry might be funny. If you get angry, the first thing I want to do is laugh because I don't know why you're getting that angry. Pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh. — Ricky Gervais

I don't believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don't believe in 2699 Gods. They're nearly as atheistic as me. — Ricky Gervais

It's a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It's the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for. — Ricky Gervais

When you think of things like The Sopranos, The Wire, Damages, they are beating film on a regular basis. Most films are terrible. It's only the 2% that are good. There's things you can do on TV which you can't do on film. There is something about those episodic, serialisations that are grand and operatic. — Ricky Gervais

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening - everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, I did that. — Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais is a genius. — Oscar Nunez

Never confuse your right to say what you believe with a right to never be disagreed with and ridiculed for saying what you believe. — Ricky Gervais

It was great having them around and I have to say pretty weird seeing them all grown up! Plus we have Jeremy Piven; and Ricky Gervais agreed to be in it and Antonio Banderas has a cameo in and that's a testament to Robert. He's such a good director and such a good guy. He gets everybody, because everyone wants to work with him. — Joel McHale

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. — Ricky Gervais

I never understood redemption when I was young. Even before I was an atheist, I always thought with the prodigal son, "well, why's he getting the special treatment?". — Ricky Gervais

I'm a pretty big Ricky Gervais fan. — Craig Roberts

I don't see myself as part of an acting fraternity or a comedy fraternity. — Ricky Gervais

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: 'Do this or you'll burn in hell. — Ricky Gervais

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway. — Ricky Gervais

I've never regretted saying no to anything, or finishing something. When I'm in the middle of doing something I love, I can have a better idea, and I'll go, "Oh God, I can't finish this." Maybe I've got some sort of disorder. — Ricky Gervais

There's nothing as perfect as the initial idea. And the only reason I write and direct is to protect the writing, because that's what's most precious. — Ricky Gervais

I had great memories of growing up in a working class estate. I remember it being sunny all the time. So we're putting that on screen. It's not people wallowing in degradation. — Ricky Gervais

I don't think humans are meant to be looked at when we're buying pants. — Ricky Gervais

I fought a bear once. But it started crying, so I let it off. — Ricky Gervais

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg. — Ricky Gervais

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational — Ricky Gervais

She wore defeat like a piece of cheap jewelry. "Worshiping them. Anointing them with oil, Mrs. Gervais," I said. — Pat Conroy

I like big escapist films. It's odd because the type of comedian I am and the things I do when I'm writing and directing myself usually deal with the darker side of the human psyche and excruciating social faux pas. I often deal in taboos and the subjects I do as a stand-up are quite challenging. But my film roles have been much more fun and escapist. — Ricky Gervais

I use people's real voices because I want realism. So often I mention the actors' physicality because I want it to be like a real documentary. — Ricky Gervais

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.' — Ricky Gervais

My ideal meal would probably be the cheesiest pasta or pizza, followed by something creamy and chocolaty. I mean, just the worst things, really. — Ricky Gervais

The world is not entirely comic and it's not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like. — Ricky Gervais