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Funny X Files Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny X Files Quotes

Funny X Files Quotes By Charles Grant

Scully-'
'I screwed up.' Her hands again. 'Damnit, I screwed up.'
'Nope' [Mulder] said ... 'If I was dead, then you would have screwed up.' She saw the grin. 'Then I'd have to haunt you.'
'Mulder that's not funny.'
'But you don't believe in ghosts and goblins ... — Charles Grant

Funny X Files Quotes By Chris Carter

I've got funny things. David Duchovny had to have a cast made of his face to do an old person's make-up, and I've got that cast of his face in my house. I've got something from the pilot, the original implant that was in Billy Miles' head. I've got a sign from 'The Erlenmeyer Flask.' But my house isn't a museum to 'The X-Files!' — Chris Carter

Funny X Files Quotes By Gemma Files

Funny word, that: "fault." As in San Andreas. The crack through which one world intersects with the next, or vice versa. This crack in my head, still gaping open--a magnet, a haematoma, a dark and spreading pool. A cigarette-burn hole in the fabric of everything I see, or hear, or do; right in the middle, impossible to mend, impossible to disguise. Impossible to ignore. — Gemma Files

Funny X Files Quotes By Jim Butcher

I stared at MacFinn for a long moment. I believed that he was telling me the truth. That he didn't have much control, if any, over his actions when he transformed. Though it occurred to me that if he wanted someone dead, he could probably point his monster-self in the right direction before he lost control.
Note to self: Do not cut MacFinn off in traffic. — Jim Butcher

Funny X Files Quotes By Andy Weir

Mark, some answers to your earlier questions:
No, we will not tell our Botany Team to "Go fuck themselves."
[...]
The data transfer rate just isn't enough for the size of music files, even in compressed formats. So your request for "Anything, oh god, ANYTHING but Disco" is denied. Enjoy your boogie fever. — Andy Weir

Funny X Files Quotes By Megan Follows

It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows

Funny X Files Quotes By Jim Butcher

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you. — Jim Butcher

Funny X Files Quotes By Chris Carter

It's funny - I was a big fan of 'The Sopranos.' It became kind of a threat to 'The X-Files' in a way because they could play with language, character, and story in ways that we never could because of the limitations of network television. — Chris Carter

Funny X Files Quotes By Neil DeGrasse Tyson

We conquer the Independence Day aliens by having a Macintosh laptop computer upload a software virus to the mothership (which happens to be one-fifth the mass of the Moon), thus disarming its protective force field. I don't know about you, but back in 1996 I had trouble just uploading files to other computers within my own department, especially when the operating systems were different. There is only one solution: the entire defense system for the alien mothership must have been powered by the same release of Apple Computer's system software as the laptop computer that delivered the virus. — Neil DeGrasse Tyson