Funny Unlikely Quotes & Sayings

How funny it is that the most unlikely person sometimes becomes your ally. — Simone Elkeles

One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation. For example: The retarded gynecologist, the retarded Jesus, the retarded Osama Bin Laden. It works. It's funny. Inappropriate? I dunno. I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of what crosses the line of good taste being that I am retarded. Socially perhaps, but severly retarded. — Bonnie McFarlane

When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely" ... It's a basic skill isn't it ... — Tim Vine

Sarah, honey, I hardly think kidnappers are going to take the time to buy a memento of their stay. I could be wrong, but it seems rather unlikely. — Christine Feehan

He asked what she was in for and complimented the find workmanship of her metal extremities, but she ignored him, making him briefly question if he'd been separated from the female population for so long that he could be losing his charm.
But that seemed unlikely. — Marissa Meyer

Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then. — Craig Brown

If someone were to propose that the planets go around the sun because all planet matter has a kind of tendency for movement, a kind of motility, let us call it an 'oomph,' this theory could explain a number of other phenomena as well. So this is a good theory, is it not? No. It is nowhere near as good as the proposition that the planets move around the sun under the influence of a central force which varies exactly inversely as the square of the distance from the center. The second theory is better because it is so specific; it is so obviously unlikely to be the result of chance. It is so definite that the barest error in the movement can show that it is wrong; but the planets could wobble all over the place, and, according to the first theory, you could say, 'Well, that is the funny behavior of the 'oomph. — Richard Feynman

Jake wasn't about to be seduced like some schoolgirl. Not by a man who went by the unlikely name of Tornado, not by anyone. He stood as firmly as he could in the mud and tore his mouth from the kiss, staring into too dark eyes. As his hands made their way into Tor's wet jeans he said, This doesn't mean I like you, you know. — Chris Owen

Neythen looked perplexed. 'My mum always said I'm named after a saint, not an illness.'
'Which one?'
'Well he had his head chopped off, see? And then he picked it up and carried it down the road a time. All the way back home, I think.'
'Messy,' Piers said. 'Not to mention unlikely, though one has to think of chickens and their post-mortal abilities. Did she think that you would inherit the same gift?'
Neythen blinked. 'No, my lord.'
'Perhaps she was just hopeful. It behooves mothers to look ahead to this sort of possibility, after all. I'm tempted to behead you just to see if she was right.Sometimes the most unlikely superstitions turn out to have a basis in fact. — Eloisa James

You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things. — Richard P. Feynman

Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - "I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you." — Russell Howard

As Gary walks down the hallway, I think of how funny it is that the most unlikely person sometimes becomes your ally. And how a blond girl can make you think futures are something to look forward to. — Simone Elkeles

The Zionist Tulsa Jew who's pugnacious is a reality. I grew up around it. And I think it's really, really funny and surprising and unlikely. — Edward Norton

Now as you plumb out into the universe and explore it astronomically, it gets very strange. You begin to see things in the depths that at first sight seem utterly remote. How could they have anything to do with us. They are so far off and so unlikely. And in the same way, when you start probing into the inner workings of the human body you come across all kinds of funny little monsters and wiggly things that bear no resemblance to what we recognize as the human image. Look at a spermatozoon under a microscope. That little tadpole! And how can that have any connection with a grown human being. It's so unlike, you see. It's foreign feeling. And you get the creeps, a foreign feeling, about yourself ... But what we will always find out in the end when we meet the very strange thing, there will one day be the dawning recognition: Why that's me. — Alan W. Watts

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards. — Jodi Picoult

'White Collar' is a show about the unlikely pairing of an FBI agent and an ex-con solving smart, glamorous, interesting and provocative crimes in a sometimes very funny way. — Tim DeKay

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. — P. J. O'Rourke