Funny Toilet Humor Quotes & Sayings
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Top Funny Toilet Humor Quotes
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman! — Frankie Boyle
Myrtle goggled at them.
"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly ...
"Oh, well ... I'd just be thinking ... if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.
"Urgh!" said Ron ... "Harry! I think Myrtle's grown fond of you! You've got competition, Ginny! — J.K. Rowling
Life before toilet paper was not worth living. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free. — Kristen Schaal
Let me put it more artistically, with greater sophistication:
They left us in the toilet. In the deepest pile of shit. And we're coated in the crappy residue of their desicions. But that does not mean we are the one who pooped, Moritz. And neither are we the poop.
Never think that. We're not the poop. — Leah Thomas
This guy was making me tired. "Thanks for the afternoon's entertainment," I said. "I'll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days. — John Swartzwelder
Marla said, This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident. — Chuck Palahniuk
As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne. — Dan Brown
People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER! — Lewis Black
Her boyfriend, Camdon or Brandon or whatever his name is, tosses Callie his wallet and says, 'Gotta take a leak.' They exchange a kiss--- which, I mean, why? Is he going to drown in the toilet? — Julie Murphy