Funny Tampon Quotes & Sayings

Valois rolled his eyes, his own lips twitching. "How can one woman be so adorable and so frustrating at the same time? — Brooke Templar

He's the beautiful painkiller that my broken body and my shattered heart demand to stop hurting. — Mia Asher

What am I to God? Nothing, a murky shadow. My passage on this earth is too rapid to leave any traces; it counts for nothing in space or in time. God really doesn't pay any attention to us, so even if he exists, it's as if he didn't. My form of atheism, however, leads inevitably to an acceptance of the inexplicable. Mystery is inseparable from chance, and our whole universe is a mystery. Since I reject the idea of a divine watchmaker (a notion even more mysterious than the mystery it supposedly explains), then I must consent to live in a kind of shadowy confusion. And insofar as no explication, even the simplest, works for everyone, I've chosen my mystery. At least it keeps my moral freedom intact. — Luis Bunuel

Is the diameter of your index finger equal to or greater than the diameter of a super absorbency tampon? — Julie Cross

Imagine that each time you inhale, that the universe is breathing into you, and as you exhale it is breathing out of you. — Andrew Weil

I always thought there was some cleverness to the joke diet in which you could eat as much as you want and as often as you want, but everything must be consumed naked in front of a full-length mirror. That would deter me! — Gene Weingarten

At the gates of Heaven, if you had the chance to plead your case before Jesus, what will you say? Say nothing because your words cannot save you. John 3:16 — Felix Wantang

Yet a period's character does affect individual character. Psychology, the study of what happens in our minds, is tightly interwoven with culture, the name we give to our beliefs, practices, and social behaviors. The scholar Andrew Delbanco goes so far as to define culture as a collective psychological notion. "Human beings need to organize the inchoate sensations amid which we pass our days - pain, desire, pleasure, fear - into a story," Delbanco writes. "When that story leads somewhere and thereby helps us navigate through life to its inevitable terminus in death, it gives us hope. And if such a sustaining narrative establishes itself over time in the minds of a substantial number of people, we call it culture. — Joshua Wolf Shenk

from the poem Holographic Personality Disgrace:

Some people are such assholes that saying, "Look, again, I'm sorry I cut off my thumb and glued it to your baby's head because I thought you'd like him better as a unicorn" means nothing to them. — Sam Pink

As Indians, we must of course learn from the past; but we must remain focused on the future. In my view, education is the true alchemy that can bring India its next golden age. — Pranab Mukherjee

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse. — Joan Rivers

The network is opening up some amazing possibilities for us to reinvent content, reinvent collaboration. — Tim O'Reilly