Funny Surprising Quotes & Sayings

Needs? I guess that is what bothers so many folks. They keep expanding their needs until they are dependent on too many things and too many other people ... I wonder how many things in the average American home could be eliminated if the question were asked, "Must I really have this?" I guess most of the extras are chalked up to comfort or saving time.
Funny thing about comfort - one man's comfort is another man's misery. Most people do't work hard enough physically anymore, and comfort is not easy to find. It is surprising how comfortable a hard bunk can be after you come down off a mountain. — Richard Proenneke

I'm sorry. I can't serve him that item," the waitress said, only somewhat surprising her since she had a pretty good idea why.
"Why not?" she found herself asking anyway out of curiosity to see if she was right.
***
"Because he's a Bradford," the woman explained with a shrug. — R.L. Mathewson

My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think people know they're going to have a surprising experience. — Matthew Bourne

I see this with experienced writers, too: They worry so much about the plot that they lose sight of the characters. They lose sight of why they are telling the story. They don't let the characters actually speak. Characters will start to dictate the story in sometimes surprising, emotional, and funny ways. If the writers are not open to those surprises, they're going to strangle the life, spark, or spirit out of their work. — Brian Michael Bendis

It's not surprising that you wouldn't see that side of me on television, but in real life I find the world to be quite a funny place. — Gwen Ifill

Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."
She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?"
"Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters. — Rick Riordan

It was very hard to make 'Funny Face' in Paris because making movies is difficult and making a movie in a city that was glorious, that was unique and surprising, to get it, to put it on film you have to make choices and reject a lot of things so you're always wondering: 'Am I doing it right?' — Stanley Donen

You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny. — John Lloyd

My funny old brain, like those of many poets, has always done its best work sideways, seeking out tricky enjambments and surprising slant rhymes to craft lines capable of pulling their own weight. — Kathleen Rooney

You can learn a lot from children because they see things new every day. That's the beauty of what you want to achieve as an artist - seeing things in a different way. Kids are constantly saying things that are funny and surprising and their observations are just ... you know, they're like little artists themselves. — Tim Burton

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers. — Norman Douglas

The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. — Seann William Scott

Funny how life had its little ways of surprising you. Little quirks of fate. — Lev Grossman

I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation. — Pharrell Williams

I love a novel that's funny, and The Taxman Cometh is very funny, delightfully well-written, yet with a serious message about how government bureaucracy affects us all. Read. Enjoy. And if a comparison to Catch 22 pops into your mind, that's not surprising. — Marvin Kalb

One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes and not feel awkward. If you don't feel obligated to say something brilliant or funny or surprising or cool. You can just be together. You can just be. — Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely funny and surprising. — Craig Charles

It wouldn't have been surprising if the girl suddenly stamped her foot and began: "Comrades! Allow me to summarize the achievements which ... ," and so forth, because we have exemplary children who can make two-hour speeches with forlorn diligence. But the Young Pioneer from Roaring Springs took the bull by the horns with her little hands and belted out, in a funny, high-pitched voice: "Long live the Five-Year Plan! — Ilya Ilf

Across the street, a clown picked up a ladder, turned, knocked the clown behind him into a bucket of water, then turned again to see what the commotion was, thus sending his rising victim into the bucket again with a surprising parping noise. The crowd watched silently. If it were funny, clowns wouldn't be doing it. The — Terry Pratchett

And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race. — Murray Walker

Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It's earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and - Oh, Hell - just gorgeously written! — Tim Wynne-Jones

The Zionist Tulsa Jew who's pugnacious is a reality. I grew up around it. And I think it's really, really funny and surprising and unlikely. — Edward Norton

The most impersonal seeming audiences eventually just say such intimate, smart, wise, amazing, totally surprising, funny things. It's empowering, in the sense of feeling like you're a part of something really important. — Gloria Steinem

You 'accidentally' touched his bottom? Didn't that happen when you last saw him as
well? Surprising how often that seems to be a problem. — Twisted Hilarity