Funny Steak Quotes & Sayings

The bartender put a notepad and a pencil before me. Breathing hard, the pencil trembling, I wrote:
Dear Sinclair Lewis:
You were once a god, but now you are a swine. I once reverenced you, admired you, and now you are nothing. I came to shake your hand in adoration, you, Lewis, a giant among American writers, and you rejected it. I swear I shall never read another line of yours again. You are an ill-mannered boor. You have betrayed me. I shall tell H. L. Muller about you, and how you have shamed me. I shall tell the world.
Arturo Bandini
P.S. I hope you choke on your steak. — John Fante

Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year. — Gena Showalter

I'd stand on the street corner and score a steak," Cas said.
I couldn't help laughing. "You know, you might be flooded with business."
His mouth stretched into a lecherous grin. "If you come with me we could be rich by morning."
"Very funny. — Jennifer Rush

I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand.
- Simon Hunt — Dannika Dark

Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.
Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her.
"Why's this fish so bloody good?" he demanded, angrily. — Douglas Adams

No really, I'm a werewolf and you're a human, which essentially translates into a steak with legs. — Quinn Loftis

Pure joy is rare. That's why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak. — Bauvard

Asshole." "Just for that, I expect you to wrap that dirty mouth of yours around my cock tonight." He narrowed his eyes on me.
I couldn't believe he'd just said that to me in a fancy restaurant where anyone might overhear. "Are you kidding?" "Babe," he gave me a look that suggested I was missing the obvious, "I never kid about blowjobs."
Our waiter had descended on us just in time to hear those romantic words and his rosy cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. "Ready to order?" he croaked out."Yes," Braden answered, obviously uncaring he'd been overhead. "I'll have the steak, medium-rare." He smiled softly at me. "What are you having?" He took a swig of water. He thought he was so cool and funny. "Apparently sausage." Braden choked on the water, coughing into his fists, his eyes bright with mirth as he put his glass back on the table. "Are you okay, sir?" The waiter asked anxiously. "I'm fine, I'm fine. — Samantha Young

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism. — George Bernard Shaw

Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned odd standing in the open street half-an-hour, with your eye against a lamp. — Charles Dickens

How to Be a Man Step One: Eat a steak, preferably raw. If you can find a juicy steer and just maw a healthy bite off of its rump, that's the method that will deliver the most immediate nutrition, protein, and flavor. Make sure you chew at least three times. Step Two: Wash it down with your whisky of choice, preferably a single-malt scotch. — Nick Offerman