Quotes & Sayings About Funny Sayings

There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives. — Darynda Jones

Let's play Russian roulette. If you win, I give you a Colombian necktie. — Natalya Vorobyova

The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic. — Sean Covey

Life is funny...we never know what's in store for us and time brings on what is meant to be. — April Mae Monterrosa

Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say that we know what the other sex is all about, but is that really true? Perhaps the following witty, funny quotes and sayings can help simplify things down about men. — Indira Gandhi

Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs. — Bauvard

Eagles, buffalos and deserts vast,
it's no good living in the fucking past. — Mark Jackman

Like my old mentor would always say, Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and I'll be dead.' Okay, she wasn't a good poet, but that lady could handle her whiskey. — John Zakour

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all. — Matshona Dhliwayo

As the van door starts to close, Brad suddenly realizes that the instant the doors close completely, the van interior will become the terrifying bland gray space he's heard about all his life, the place one goes when one has been Written Out.
The van interior becomes the bland gray space.
From the front yard TV comes the brash martial music that indicates UrgentUpdateNewsMinute.
Animal rights activists have expressed concern over the recent trend of spraying live Canadian geese with a styrene coating which instantaneously kills them while leaving them extremely malleable, so it then becomes easy to shape them into comical positions and write funny sayings in DryErase cartoon balloons emanating from their beaks, which, apparently, is the new trend for outdoor summer parties.
— George Saunders

TRACY MARANDER: [Kurt Cobain] was a really good artist. He would draw cartoons with funny sayings. I have this huge picture of this homeless guy, and it's a satirical thing on how homeless people are mentally ill, they're alcoholics, they had messed up childhoods - but they're expected to fend for themselves in a box in the snow. — Greg Prato

If you want to know what the camel stole from your kitchen yesterday, then you shouldn;t slit open its stomach. You should stare into its arsehole. — Jussi Adler-Olsen

Racism is not funny, because it won't solve anything, but making it worst instead, because racism is the reason the world is no longer great. — Werley Nortreus

Gundar seemed to come to a decision.
"Well, as my old mam used to say, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck."
"Very wise," Halt said. "And what exactly do your mother's words of wisdom have to do with this situation?"
Gundar shrugged. "It looks like a channel. It's the right place for a channel. If I were digging one, this is where I'd dig a channel. So ... "
"So it's probably the channel?" Selethen said.
Gundar grinned at him. "Either that or it's a duck. — John Flanagan