Funny Russell Brand Quotes & Sayings

Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. "Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard". — Russell Brand

I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia. — Russell Brand

I used to quite fancy Russell Brand, but I'm not sure if it's just because he's funny. He's definitely got something and I can't just switch all that off because of one stupid moment. I fancy Barack Obama too, which is a wrong crush, isn't it? He's a married man, and he's quite old, but he looks young, so he's fair game. — Konnie Huq

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws. — Russell Brand

I've always had a bit of a feminine aura, but I don't mind. Russell Brand has one, too. — John Duover

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things. — Russell Brand

How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend? — Russell Brand

This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink ... mug of water. — Russell Brand

It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
Then it's just hilarious. — Bill Hicks

If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps? — Russell Brand

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. — Russell Brand

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed. — Russell Brand

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do. — Russell Brand

Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver. — Russell Brand