Funny Robert Pattinson Quotes & Sayings

I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back. — Robert Pattinson

I had to do two roles in two days, I'm in a hairflux. — Robert Pattinson

Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows. — Robert Pattinson

So I know where my feet are. — Robert Pattinson

This is a good look. I'm gonna mess him up," Pattinson praises Stewart. "And I'm just like, I don't know what's going on? Where am I? I just walked out of a flower bed in this scene as well ... I was standing in the flower bed and then walked out of it and then stopped and looked confused ... If I didn't have contact lenses on, that was a really spectacular look I just did ... I should have had million thoughts, like Hamlet. — Robert Pattinson

My whole head is like I've had a face lift. — Robert Pattinson

It's funny, people were asking me how I'd feel when it all ends, on the first movie, and I don't think I've ever felt more completely bewildered, knowing that I only have a month of Twilight stuff left to do. — Robert Pattinson

The special effects team designed everything, which basically allowed me to stand on a green box and look and stay relatively expressionless and all these machines did the acting for me. Just the way I like it (laughs) — Robert Pattinson

I have been called Taylor Lautner a few time which I'm quite happy about. You only have to look at us to see how funny that is but it's nice to pretend I might be hiding a Taylor six-pack under my shirt. — Robert Pattinson

I hate people who cry around me. I'm not friends with them anymore. Especially girls. Cuz girls are crying all the time. It's like, 'Shut up.' — Robert Pattinson

It's funny now, trying to socialise with people. There's this cautiousness about people which I just find really weird. — Robert Pattinson

In this scene, I'm talking about how much I don't like cookies ... I'm sayin', 'Listen, guys. Have you read the book? We're not supposed to be eating.' — Robert Pattinson

Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl ... He'll some times have some, like, Top Ramen in it. — Robert Pattinson

What's it like kissing Taylor Lautner. — Robert Pattinson

Girls, you know it's all just a game to them, relationships. Just go around stomping on everyone ... I mean, look at this poor guy in the background with his collar up. You know he's just gonna get ruined by women. — Robert Pattinson

I'd love to be able to fit in a box. Like one of those people who fit into small boxes. I'd love it. — Robert Pattinson

There was one rumor that I saw in a magazine saying I was pregnant. I thought that was brilliant and it still crops up now. But it's definitely not true. I can promise you that. — Robert Pattinson

I don't really know how accepted I am. Nothing ever matters to me apart from the people with negative opinions. That's literally it. That always drives me on to the next thing. It's funny, you just focus on them and then the next movie. That's the only thing you're thinking about when it comes out. — Robert Pattinson

I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time. — Robert Pattinson

Now listen, guuuyyysss! Come on guys. Let's all, come on, let's be simple about this. — Robert Pattinson

It's strange because I'm a sex symbol to 14-year-old girls which I guess is not the most helpful situation to be in. But yeah, I've never really thought of it. It's just so funny. I mean, just last year I couldn't even get a date and then this year, the world turns and it's so bizarre that everybody just changes their mind at the same time. — Robert Pattinson

Money by Martin Amis. I read it when I was 15, I read it hundreds of times since then and it always makes me laugh. Amis has managed to create a world that is both funny and abrasive. I'd love to play John Self, the depraved hero, who's without illusions, he created. — Robert Pattinson

It's funny what you really see when you're the subject of the completely bizarre gossip magazine industry. It's just like, 'WHAT?!?' All this stuff with Emilie [de Ravin, his costar in Remember Me] as well. The tabloids say stuff like 'They went on a date to an Indian restaurant.' We were doing a scene! There's a film crew there! — Robert Pattinson

Christoph Waltz is stunning, an insanely nice guy. He is not only a ridiculously good actor, he's also funny, helpful & a good colleague. I like his work ethic. I mean, the guy has won an Oscar and despite that he is receptive, open-minded & not the least bit snooty. Reese Witherspoon is the same. It may be the nicest cast that I have worked with yet. — Robert Pattinson

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it ... — Robert Pattinson

I've got such effeminate hands. I could never be strong. Whenever I even got to a save, my fingers would just bend back and the ball would hit me in the face. — Robert Pattinson

I thought I was supposed to have a fake six-pack in this scene — Robert Pattinson

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit. — Robert Pattinson

I don't know if I'm particularly funny, I mean one of my legs is shorter than the other one, it makes everything look very awkward, so I can just pretty much look like an idiot, but I don't know whether I can be like witty. It could be a problem. — Robert Pattinson

I actually think being involved in the cesarean would be ... I just can't wait! — Robert Pattinson

Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows. — Robert Pattinson

Obviously, the best dressed awards is very relevant, I'm best dressed at all times.(smiles) — Robert Pattinson

I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. — Robert Pattinson

People would be in hysterics if they saw that. It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron ... So he wears lipstick, has a little bouffant, and does little circus acts as well. Oh, he's so sexy. — Robert Pattinson

Sometimes I think I look like I've had facial reconstructive surgery. Like after burns. — Robert Pattinson

This is quite difficult 'cause I have a really flat head, and so it's quite difficult to get a correct angle. And you can't go up from down below as well, 'cause I've got, like, rock solid gelled hair. And so, like, it was odd. I don't know, sometimes I feel like my head is being, like, turned inside out. Like that episode of Ren & Stimpy when he's inside his own belly button. I don't know. — Robert Pattinson

I look a bit like him. — Robert Pattinson

Xavier would be such a great burger. He's all covered in spread ... — Robert Pattinson