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Funny Phones Quotes & Sayings

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Top Funny Phones Quotes

Funny Phones Quotes By Rita Rudner

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important. — Rita Rudner

Funny Phones Quotes By Jack Jason

Marlee has said a million times, "Wouldn't it be funny if there was a camera trained on the two of us?" because we get involved in some very interesting situations. We'll be on a plane and she gets handed a Braille menu because they think she is blind, or producers that turn to the director of a show she's on and say, "Marlee Matlin is great, but is she going to be deaf for the whole show?" She used to freak people out with the speaker phone in her car by having me sign what they were saying on the speaker phone and then she would speak herself. — Jack Jason

Funny Phones Quotes By Ned Vizzini

It's funny how people ask that as soon as they get you on the phone. I think it's a byproduct of cell phones: people - girls and moms especially - want to nail you down in physical space. The fact is that you could be anywhere on a cell phone and it shouldn't be important where you are. But it becomes the first thing people ask. — Ned Vizzini

Funny Phones Quotes By Tim Allen

I've gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I'm back to a flip-phone. It's funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they're considered antiques. — Tim Allen

Funny Phones Quotes By Stephanie Miller

I don't know how many times a phone call or e-mail starts with, "I don't agree with anything you say but you're funny as hell so I listen to your show, I love your show." — Stephanie Miller

Funny Phones Quotes By Quentin Tarantino

I'm wondering if the crew [from'The Hateful Eight'] had some sort of nickname for me. I am blanking at anything truly funny, so I'll just say, 'No Phone Quentin'. — Quentin Tarantino

Funny Phones Quotes By Tony Blackburn

One time I picked it up and a voice goes, 'Hi, it's Sinatra. Can you play me a record?' I was like, 'Oh yeah, very funny,' and hung up. I thought someone was having a joke, but it was actually Frank. My manager told me there aren't many people who put the phone down on Sinatra. — Tony Blackburn

Funny Phones Quotes By Michael Shannon

I'll tell you what's funny about it [NSA wiretapping]: They tell us we got to cut the budget; we have to have budget rollback. We're going to cut the budget on air traffic control, and every once in a while your plane is going to be delayed for three hours. But we do have the money laying around to hire people to read your emails and listen to your phone conversations. That just doesn't make any friggin' sense at all. — Michael Shannon

Funny Phones Quotes By Adam McKay

Old man with an old phone. That's never not funny. — Adam McKay

Funny Phones Quotes By Neil Kinnock

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. — Neil Kinnock

Funny Phones Quotes By Robert Pattinson

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it ... — Robert Pattinson

Funny Phones Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire." — Jeff Foxworthy

Funny Phones Quotes By Steven Wright

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh ... " — Steven Wright

Funny Phones Quotes By Steven Wright

I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, "Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday." — Steven Wright

Funny Phones Quotes By Louis C.K.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining ... "Sir, could you please stop?" — Louis C.K.

Funny Phones Quotes By T.S. Krupa

I mean, my age is just a number. So what if you were born in the era when they still used rotary phones and cassette tapes? I think it's cute. — T.S. Krupa

Funny Phones Quotes By Amy Reed

Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late — Amy Reed

Funny Phones Quotes By Nickolas Butler

Goddamn golf shirts and gym memberships and fake muscles and tans and cell phones and new cars. Trevor didn't care about any of that garbage. All he wanted was a garden. Isn't that funny? — Nickolas Butler

Funny Phones Quotes By Johnny Depp

When I'm at our house in France I totally cut myself off from the rest of the world. I never have to listen to phones ringing and that's because - and Vanessa would confirm this - phones are banned from the house. We have a beautiful life and I feel that spending time in France has just calmed me down and made me stop worrying about things which aren't really important. — Johnny Depp

Funny Phones Quotes By Peter Sagal

In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5 days later. We also churned our own butter and used our phones for talking. — Peter Sagal

Funny Phones Quotes By L. H. Cosway

You need a job and I need a PA, why don't you come and work for me?"
"No thanks, God knows what being your PA would involve."
He laughs. "Well it would involve the usual, faxing, filing, answering the phones, taking
bookings, relieving my sexual needs, etcetera."
"Yeah I thought as much." I tell him, my tone doing all the rejecting for me.
"Seriously though, the offer stands. Think it over." He tells me in a soft voice.
"I don't have PA experience."
"I'll teach you," he says, in a tone that insinuates other things.
"Sure."
He lowers his voice. "I think I'd enjoy teaching you things."
"Can't say I w-would enjoy it." Yeah, right.
"You stuttered," he says — L. H. Cosway

Funny Phones Quotes By Kiefer Sutherland

Isn't it funny? You hear a phone ring and it could be anybody. But, a ringing phone has to be answered doesn't it? — Kiefer Sutherland

Funny Phones Quotes By Dylan Moran

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone. — Dylan Moran

Funny Phones Quotes By Kristen Ashley

I need his number," I announced.
"What?" Roxie asked.
"Give me his cell number!" I shouted.
"Who's got his number?"
Everyone started pulling out their phones.
"I have his number," Indy told me.
"I don't have his number," Daisy said, but she was still digging through her purse as if she could help.
"I wish I had his number," Tod put in. — Kristen Ashley