Funny Paradoxical Quotes & Sayings

Wit is often its own worst enemy. — Maria Edgeworth

We are glad you have been ordained as the first priest of your people. Now you can help us with their problem.' Tagoona asked, 'What is a problem?' and the white man said, 'Tagoona, if I held you by your heels from a third-story window, you would have a problem.' Tagoona considered this long and carefully. Then he said, 'I do not think so. If you saved me, all would be well. If you dropped me, nothing would matter. It is you who would have the problem. — Margaret Craven

One time, I was given an essay topic: to describe a perfect horse, whom the mere sight of the rider's whip would make obedient. I depicted this perfect horse throwing his rider at the sight of the whip. — Marquis De Lafayette

Only Jack has remarked on the irony that America is going to war against a white supremacist enemy with a segregated American army. — Michael Grant

I'm not crying because you're mean. I just can't imagine how incredibly painful it must be to be you. — Elizabeth Wurtzel

I was never raised with the traditional story of creation in religion, and because of that I think I had a lot of questions. And evolution, the evolutionary narrative, helped provide some of that for me. — Greg Graffin